Thread: Standup routine

I have some more stuff, this though isn't fully formed, its in draft form, but I will throw it out there anyway, hopefully it will allow me to better refine it. To explain the angle I am going for, it is an attempt at satirizing the way in which popular culture can come to idolise things that they really shouldn't. And I am focusing on the rise of pimping (pimp my ride and all that) and looking to derive humour from the sheer stupidity of this, and also try to likening it as much as possible to business management.

The comparisons still need some work, there aren't enough jokes in it, I feel it needs more in order to get across what I am trying to do, in its current form it might come across as a bit patronising, but I think with more comparison jokes it will become less like this and more obvious what I am aiming for. I also intend to then turn it really on the show pimp my ride and ridicule the absurdity of its name, I am still working on that and intend to add more and is my way, I don't have a good joke to end it with. I think it is a decent base to work from, but I'd like some opinion.

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old version

So, I have been a student for sometime now. And I found that the student life actually led me to withdraw from society to an extent. Now that I just finished university, I decided that I should try to get back in. So I have been looking for something cool, something that the kids are into and I thought I had found it.

The term "pimp" has cropped up in the popular lexicon in recent years, with shows like pimp my ride and hip hop music. So I thought I would try my hand at pimping, or to phrase it properly, pimp it to the max, yo. And as you all know, pimp my ride is a show where a rapper goes around pimping cars. However, upon further research into the field of pimpology, it appears that I have been grossly misled.

What the show refers to as "pimping", is actually what civillised people have refered to for many years as car modification. It turns out that pimping has a totally different meaning from the one conveyed by popular culture, it's true, and I feel that it is my duty to report on this. You see, pimps are actually employed within the prostitution industry. They basically manage the prostitutes, they represent the management tier in the prostitution industry. They are resonpsible for delegating tasks to the girls, keeping them motivated, disciplining the girls and general supervision.

This sounds fair enough, right? Take her into his office, explain the situation, give her a verbal warning as her first strike, a written for second and if she does it again, well we are sorry but I have to let you go. Wrong. Turns out that this particular industry tends to deviate from normal business practice. The verbal warning is a ferocious torrent of abuse, the written letter takes the form of a brutal beating and the sacking, well, the prostitution industry appears to be a very forgiving one, they don't like to let the girls go, its a pretty low staff turnover...on account of the rampant slavery involved.

However, the day in the life of a pimp entails more than just this. You see, after the hooker has degraded herself for a paltry sum of money, the majority of the proceeds go back the the pimp. This is encouraging, as this side of the industry is more in line with general business practices, they do none of the work, but take all of the credit. So they get to keep the majority of the money, or in some cases all, because they have to do all the hard work. They need to keep their staff motivated, by using the money to score some smack in order to coerce the pale, traumatised rattling girls into performing, or to scare them shitless with punishment beatings if their continually underperform. This is high stress stuff, and quality standards must be adhered to.

And upon learning this, it struck me that the use of the word pimp in the show pimp my ride was actually very innapropriate. It is a bit like rebranding art restoration as "wife beating", some researchers uncover an old painting but it is in bad condition so they get in some wifebeaters to wifebeat it back to pristine condition, or when you hire in the violent sex offenders to take your delapodated(sp) old house and totally sex offence it into something that is totally bitchin and befitting of your bad self, yo.

Let us imagine for a second that the production team behind pimp my ride were to hear this, and maybe alter the content in order to make the name more appropriate. How exactly does one go about pimping a car? Do you need to network with car fetish freaks, renting them out by the hour? Allowing utter creeps to stick their dick into the exhaust and girate on the bonnet? What if the car doesn't live up to the customers satisfaction? Do you then get a load of the boyz round to tune it up with a sledgehammer? How do you beat a car into giving better sex? Could the lure of nitrous oxide entice them to get dirty?

I know what you are thinking, "stop, this is getting silly now, cars cannot actually feel stuff", that is true, and I am glad you feel this way, however when you consider the mentality of the people who make pimp my ride, I think these are fair questions to ask. Important questions.

So, I have been a student for sometime now. And I found that the student life actually led me to withdraw from society to an extent. Now that I just finished university, I decided that I should try to get back in. So I have been looking for something cool, something that the kids are into and I thought I had found it.

The term "pimp" has cropped up in the popular lexicon in recent years, with shows like pimp my ride and hip hop music. So I thought I would try my hand at pimping, or to phrase it properly, pimp it to the max, yo. And as you all know, pimp my ride is a show where a rapper goes around pimping cars. However, upon further research into the field of pimpology, it appears that I have been grossly misled.

What the show refers to as "pimping", is actually what civillised people have refered to for many years as car modification. It turns out that pimping has a totally different meaning from the one conveyed by popular culture, it's true, and I feel that it is my duty to report on this. You see, pimps are actually employed within the prostitution industry. They basically manage the prostitutes, they represent the management tier in the prostitution industry. When a prostitute finds herself in breach of company policy, or mad pimp rules yo, they have the task of disciplining them.

This sounds fair enough, right? Take her into his office, explain the situation, give her a verbal warning as her first strike, a written for second and if she does it again, well we are sorry but I have to let you go. Wrong. Turns out that this particular industry tends to deviate from normal business practice. The verbal warning is a ferocious torrent of abuse, the written letter takes the form of a brutal beating and the sacking, well its more of the same. The prostitution industry appears to be a very forgiving one, they don't like to let the girls go, its a pretty low staff turnover...on account of the rampant slavery involved.

However, the day in the life of a pimp entails more than just this. You see, after the hooker has degraded herself for a paltry sum of money, the majority of the proceeds go back the the pimp. This is encouraging, as this side of the industry is more in line with general business practices, they do none of the work, but take all of the credit. So they get to keep the majority of the money, or in some cases all, because they have to do all the hard work. They need to keep their staff motivated, by using the money to score some smack in order to coerce the pale, traumatised rattling girls into performing, or to scare them shitless with punishment beatings if their continually underperform. This is high stress stuff, and quality standards must be adhered to.

And upon learning this, it struck me that the use of the word pimp in the show pimp my ride was actually very innapropriate. It is a bit like rebranding art restoration as "wife beating", some researchers uncover an old painting but it is in bad condition so they get in some wifebeaters to wifebeat it back to pristine condition, or when you hire in the violent sex offenders to take your delapodated(sp) old house and violently sex offend it into something that is totally bitchin and befitting of your bad self, yo.

Let us imagine for a second that the production team behind pimp my ride were to hear this, and maybe alter the content in order to make the name more appropriate. How exactly does one go about pimping a car? Do you need to network with car fetish freaks, renting them out by the hour? Allowing utter creeps to stick their dick into the exhaust and girate on the bonnet? What if the car doesn't live up to the customers satisfaction? Do you then get a load of the boyz round to tune it up with a sledgehammer? How do you beat a car into giving better sex? Could the lure of nitrous oxide entice them to get dirty?

I know what you are thinking, "stop, this is getting silly now, cars cannot actually feel stuff", that is true, and I am glad you feel this way, however when you consider the mentality of the people who make pimp my ride, I think these are fair questions to ask. Important questions. And one of the reasons I bring this up, a few years ago I was coming home from college and I met an old friend. We were discussing what we wanted to do with our lives and he said "I want to be a pimp". This struck me as an odd career choice, but it then became obvious that he didn't understand what it was that he just said.

And I worry people might start to take words like pimp, which are actually pretty serious, and attach less harmful meaning to them. Case in point, I was on the train last week when this guy, late teens gets on with his friends and they sit across from me. He then says how his sister had a birthday party the week before and that he and his friends were all rapists and decided to rape at her party in order to practice their raping skills. By the sounds of it, they totally raped the socks off the party and I think his family was really impressed with his raping skills. Of course, he was a musician and was in a band with his friends, but they had been watching MTV's rape my music, more of a concept than a show which MTV have been doing for a very long time now.