This is just a rough idea that I just came up with and jotted down over the course of maybe five-ten minutes, if I actually worked on throwing in some more characters, a bit of depth and some more plot points, I'd want it to be around 100-150 pages typed. I'd just like to have a fun little project to keep me busy for a while and can't think of anything better than writing some off the wall short story. Either way I'll probably post it here if I finish it so that all of you can not read it when I do.

So anyone who is willing to read this absurdness, please comment. Without further adieu,

Dildo Flea Market

Well the story opens up with me driving through a small town (Picture it being San Francisco hills-eque), when a cop pulls me over. I was going the speed limit and not doing anything illegal, yet he and several locals accuse me of speeding. We have a brief argument and he writes me a ticket. I arrive at my destination, this little indoor flea market type deal.

I walk in and look around, and finally stop at this little stand that sells dildos and smoking accessories, and I pocket this little pot pipe while the person who runs it isn't looking, and end up buying this little blue vibrator and an energy drink from him. Anyway, as I'm trying to leave, the officer from earlier comes in and starts questioning me. We walk over to a side booth which is empty and he asks me to empty out my pockets. I do and explain to him that I just bought the items from the booth. He holds up the dildo and asks the person who was running it if I just paid him for some merchandise, the officer says yes. He sees the pipe and asks if I have any drugs hidden on me, I say no. He asks if he's going to find any resin in the pipe and I explain to him that I just got it from the little booth where he approached me. He seems to believe the story and gives my stuff back to me.

At this point, I'm a little bit frustrated and walk towards the main entrance, only to see a fence running all around the building with guys in S.W.A.T. gear patrolling the outside of it. I assume that something big has happened and go back to ask the cop if he knows what might have gone down. After a quick search, I give up on looking for him and decide to go ask one of the S.W.A.T. guys. He is uncooperative and tells me that he can't tell me anything about what is going on. So I ask if I can leave, and he says that nobody is allowed to leave right now. So I'm thinking that it's just a response to some kind of incident, maybe someone went nuts and is holding hostages in the area or trying to pick people off with a sniper rifle and they're just trying to keep things under control for now.

I go back into the flea market and look at some more booths, ending up at a sporting good section with some strange weighted golf club looking things that have these attachments sold alongside them. Some look like hammers, some look like broadsword tips, some look like battle axes...just a wide assortment of odd shapes. Then I look around some more and decide to see if people are being allowed to leave yet. The S.W.A.T. guys are inside the fence as well now, and I ask one when we'll be allowed to leave. He tells me that we won't be. I stare back in amazement and ask him "What do you mean we won't be?". He looks back and says "No one is leaving this area.".

So at this point I freak out a little bit. As he turns away, I pull the dildo out of my bag and stick up against his back. I tell him that I haven't done anything to warrant being imprisoned like this and that I want out now. I flip the switch on the vibrator and tell him that I don't want to have to use it, but I will. A brief spark of fear hits his face and he says "Ok, follow me". I follow him to the back of the building, through some hallways, and towards a back entrance. We walk through some back alleys, take a left on a small side road and end up right back at the front gate. I look behind me to see another giant fence in the distance. Apparently, there is no escaping the dildo flea market...