I wrote one for sycld I think he'll prefer it

Wake in Forest Hill, Queens, (that’s in New York City) (uh huh)
Grab my mask, I’m out the window where the streets are gritty
Before I leave I retrieve that camera I lack
Make sure I film every monster that brave spidey attacks

I’m talking tracking down all my foes, foes
Protecting all those with woes, woes
Photoshop and crop my superim-posed pose
I’m saving my city from sleaze, sleaze
Protecting my favourite squeeze, squeeze
And doing it all wittttttthhhhh glee

Chorus:
Doctor Oc, Eddie Brock
You know I’ll put them under lock
And key, you’ll surely see
That you don’t wanna mess with me
Can’t stop to take stock
‘Cause the bad guys always flock
To mee-ee-ee, mee-ee-ee

(Repeat Chorus)

See the red and the spider; you’ve got nothing to fear
Unless you’re criminal, jewish or a well-known queer
Cause when I see a male prostitute leer and swagger
If I didn’t spray them all over I’d have to draw my pork dagger

I’m talking covering in metaphorical spunk, spunk
Or I’d have to pull out my junk, junk
When I see that brute evil hunk, hunk

Now I respond to Mary Jane’s pout, pout
But I really want a little boy scout, scout
Really want a little boy scout, scout
Really want a

Doctor Oc, Eddie Brock
I wish they'd symbiote my cock
You see, villains flee
Cause of my sexuality
Can’t stop, to take stock
'Cause I’m straight there’s nothing wrong
With mee-ee-ee, mee-ee-ee