Oh wait ignore two previous posts this one takes the cake. I had expunged this one from my memory it is so bad.

Ok so our fratnerity has a bi-annual event called Roman Orgy, where we put greek columns up in front of the house and have a big toga party. Being the big man on campus that I was, I had not one but, count-'em, THREE dates to this event. Just some crazy chicks that were friends and probably secretly bisexual but that's neither here nor there. Point is that as the evening wore on, a couple of them called it a night and took of, leaving me with the crazy alcoholic self-described nympho of the group as my remaining date for the evening's festivities (quick side story: this chick ended up going up for military security clearances later and I was called in for an in-depth interview with a uniformed military officer that lasted several hours as part of her background check).

Being the alcoholic she had a reputation for, in addition to all the beer/wine/booze we've all had in the house that evening, she thought it would be an awesome idea to slam a bottle or two of wine in the space of two or three minutes. People do crazy shit all the time at college parties so I didn't think anything of it, and soon after I was getting close to passing out and figured she had gone home since I hadn't seen her around lately, so I closed the door to my room and crashed on my futon.

There was a loud knock on my door, and one of the older wiser and respected brothers in the house said "Hey, that chick in your room earlier... she is your date tonight, right?" "Uhh... yeah?" "Well, I was trying to sleep up in the cold air dorm [a big open room with tons of bunk beds on the top floor that some people choose to sleep in] and was woken up by your chick, she was walking across cold air with her pants around her ankles, pissing everywhere, and masturbating while walking and loudly moaning 'oh my god oh my god' - she's your date, you need to go watch over her to make sure she doesn't die in her sleep or something.

So I went up and she was all but passed the fuck out, so I had to pull her pants back on her, get a makeshift sleeping area set up for her and stay up most of the night next to a puddle of piss trying to feed her water and crackers so she didn't die of alcohol poisoning. She had the nerve to come back and show her face and party again the next weekend at our place after that, even after I told her the next morning what happened.

I have so many good fraternity house stories, I really need to post them someday. The chick with scabies that walked naked into people's rooms, an ex-gf of mine that thought a good idea to try to piss me off was having anal sex with a black dude in our communal shower area, etc.