Member's Quotations Thread

[coqauvin]

ok, the two events i remember best are my friend and I altering reality with our japery.

Eating a massive competition breakfast, and delerious on the sheer amount of greasy breakfast meat i had consumed, me and matt came up with the idea of a ham smoothie, which is just a hock of ham thrown in a blender. we would turn it into the flagship food of our porky restaurant, and even sketched out a logo of a pig giving a thumbs up sitting in a blender.

I later found out that at ALMOST EXACTLY THE SAME TIME, fucking 150 KM away, while we were making this joke, my faggot friend peter was putting a hock of ham into a blender with mayonnaise and barbeque sauce. (we double-checked the timing by cold-calling his friends and demanding to know what he was doing thursday evening at 6pm, and the answer was ham smoothies) wtf?

The other was being all ripped on cocaine and, after pulling an all-nighter, calling my jew friend ian and leasving 7 or so messages at his house, all off the wall, non-sensible, half-baked, all-vulgar ones, and in this demanding that he open up his Jew safe to give his legacy of doubloons. We stressed how much we wanted the half-doubloons and half-pennies that we knew he had, because Jews make sure they have exact change, and use their razor-sharp jew teeth to chew through coins to make them.

the next day, my buddy gord, who helped us with the messages, went to work on his golf course (run by jews) and found half of a penny on the ground, with bite marks around it. wtf?

edit: I'm going to talk to matt, becasue we used to write down the insane shit we talked about on our drug-ridden all nighters. if i find the papers we wrote, i'll post some of the better ones.