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Thread: A 10 year old girl gave my friend a black eye, a chipped tooth, and AIDS this weekend

  1. #1
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    Default A 10 year old girl gave my friend a black eye, a chipped tooth, and AIDS this weekend

    #1
    Atmosfear So I recently traveled to New Orleans in order to watch a minor football contest called the Sugar Bowl in which my beloved Bulldogs stomped a bunch of faggishly dressed Samoans led by a bleach-blonde sexual predator of a Heisman trophy finalist Hawaii.

    Anyways, naturally, being in New Orleans we all went out on Bourbon Street. As Bourbon is typically crowded, usually moving from bar to bar requires agreeing to a final destination and meeting there, as moving in a large group together on the street is difficult. Anyways, we filtered in twos and threes towards Pat O's and when we finally arrived, one of us had a black eye.

    It started with him walking down the street drinking a hand grenade. Suddenly, he felt a whomp on his ass, as though a little person had punched him square in the cheek (at this point, I was hoping it was a midget; unfortunately, it wasn't.) He turned around to find a 10-year old black girl (obviously the post-Katrina, thieving hoodlum type) trying to get after his wallet.

    As he turned to face her, she became belligerent, circling around him and taunting him, shouting at him, "What you gonna do about it?" Taken aback, our hero set his hand grenade on the ground and scoffs at the girl, "Look, what are you talking about? Just go away."

    Unashamed and obviously looking for a fight, the girl runs up and boots his hand grenade all over the street. Dismayed at the loss of his $8 drink, my friend flips out and himself becomes belligerent, yelling at the girl and using a few choice words. The girl, in turn, begins harassing him, and shouting, "Hit me. You can't take me. What you gonna do about it, white boy?"

    Knowing he is unable to really do anything to a small, female child, my friend (who stands about 6'5") is standing dumbfounded as a crowd is beginning to gather about the scene. What a moral dilemma, what could he do? On one hand, he can't assault a girl, but on the other hand he has no recompense for the spirits she has punted across the French Quarter.

    Meanwhile, the little hellion charges at him, leaps, and crow-hops him right square in the eye. Still dumbfounded and frozen, not knowing what to do, my buddy proceeds to allow her to attack him again, this time punching him in the mouth, and all the while talking shit like a veteran sailor.

    Finally snapped back to reality, he grabs the girl and tries to restrain her, putting her in a headlock and looking around at the crowd for some clue as to how a 22-year old is supposed to handle assault and battery from a girl who hasn't started puberty and might top 4'0" tall. While he is looking to the crowd for support, she proceeds to bite his hand around the base of his thumb and, fearing she might draw blood and/or infect him with hepatitis, AIDS, lycanthropy, or the virus from Dawn of the Dead, releases her.

    She proceeded to run away without his wallet, but not without leaving him bite marks on his hands, a chipped tooth, and a black eye. Now he probably has AIDS and he didn't even get to share any needles.

    Hopefully she ran around the corner and her mother beat her for not bringing her a wallet and they went hungry that night and then they froze in the subfreezing temperatures of the last couple nights in NOLA.

    So, what would you do if a 10-year old began to publicly assault you?

  2. #2
    kiss my sweaty balls benzss's Avatar
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    Did you get a tetanus jab before you went to New Orleans?
    well i mean

    Quote Originally Posted by Mang View Post
    I need to see a girl getting penetrated in 4 orifices

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    I loves sausage festival! djwolford's Avatar
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    I personally wouldn't go to New Orleans, or the state of Louisiana in general. I mean I have to go through Mississippi just to get there, so it's like going through crap to get to worse crap.
    Quote Originally Posted by Toki
    Oh, gives to me opposites werewolves that turns to humans whens the moons comes outs!
    Quote Originally Posted by Toki
    We's not goes downs that dusty roads again!
    Quote Originally Posted by Pickles
    Toki is that straight vadka? It's not even noon...

  4. #4
    Senior Member mkdisciple's Avatar
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    I feel like I've read this before.

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    Senior Member piranhas's Avatar
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    c&p

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    Senior Member piranhas's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by djwolford View Post
    I personally wouldn't go to New Orleans, or the state of Louisiana in general. I mean I have to go through Mississippi just to get there, so it's like going through crap to get to worse crap.
    Also, Louisiana is best state ever.

  7. #7
    I loves sausage festival! djwolford's Avatar
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    When is the last time you've been out of Louisiana? Even Mississippi is better and it's total crap. New Mexico may even be as good as Louisiana.
    Quote Originally Posted by Toki
    Oh, gives to me opposites werewolves that turns to humans whens the moons comes outs!
    Quote Originally Posted by Toki
    We's not goes downs that dusty roads again!
    Quote Originally Posted by Pickles
    Toki is that straight vadka? It's not even noon...

  8. #8
    ))) joke, relax ;) coqauvin's Avatar
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    where did i read this before because i totally did

  9. #9
    λεγιων ονομα μοι sycld's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mkdisciple View Post
    I feel like I've read this before.
    Quote Originally Posted by coqauvin View Post
    where did i read this before because i totally did
    yeah i remember this too, so it had to have been posted in 2008


    PANDAS
    If you don't like them, then get the fuck out.

    Quote Originally Posted by Think View Post
    Atheists are quite right

  10. #10
    ))) joke, relax ;) coqauvin's Avatar
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    it wasn't on this website

    it was somewhere out there in the kingdom of internetia, but for the life of me i cannot recall where

  11. #11
    boxman Mang's Avatar
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    no, it was on CD

    I think atmosfear originally posted it... or anony d

    or no-brains-no-worries

    SOMEONE



    I don't understand why people copy pasta

    its just... no I really don't get it
    Last edited by Mang; 05-01-2009 at 12:26 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Darth Vader View Post
    I acutally more or less agree with you on this. I'm much more of an athlete then an intellectual.

  12. #12
    ))) joke, relax ;) coqauvin's Avatar
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    I've read this, and not on CD, I am sure of it

    when i find out where it will be like discovering EL DORADO

  13. #13
    FFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUU Anonymous D's Avatar
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    Atmosphere posted this.
    Quote Originally Posted by Nermy2k View Post
    roses are red,
    violets are blue,
    deathmaster numbers,
    i'm gonna rape you

    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. E View Post
    I had a dream

  14. #14
    FFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUU Anonymous D's Avatar
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    I mean he even copied the post # and name.
    Quote Originally Posted by Nermy2k View Post
    roses are red,
    violets are blue,
    deathmaster numbers,
    i'm gonna rape you

    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. E View Post
    I had a dream

  15. #15
    boxman Mang's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anonymous D View Post
    I mean he even copied the post # and name.
    I read that at first as him addressing Atmosfear, lol
    Quote Originally Posted by Darth Vader View Post
    I acutally more or less agree with you on this. I'm much more of an athlete then an intellectual.

  16. #16
    Journeyman Cocksmith Mr. E's Avatar
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    This is copypasta from a thread from this website, I remember it

    wow

  17. #17
    Senior Member Killuminati's Avatar
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    I mean I don't think he is trying to fool anyone.

  18. #18
    Senior Member piranhas's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by djwolford View Post
    When is the last time you've been out of Louisiana? Even Mississippi is better and it's total crap. New Mexico may even be as good as Louisiana.
    I went to Minnesota for Thanksgiving and it was okay. I have yet to go to a state that sucks, but none have been better than Louisiana.

  19. #19
    λεγιων ονομα μοι sycld's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mang View Post
    I read that at first as him addressing Atmosfear, lol
    hahaha me too.


    PANDAS
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    Quote Originally Posted by Think View Post
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  20. #20
    Canned Kal El's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mkdisciple View Post
    I feel like I've read this before.
    Quote Originally Posted by KT_ View Post
    Yes.

    Yesterday I was playing the Mirror's Edge demo while a dude was eating me out. Mirror's Edge is fucking awesome. I'm excited.
    Quote Originally Posted by victrola View Post
    he may be a faggot but in this case he is correct

  21. #21
    Senior Member Tekk's Avatar
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    This was on LWS, pre-faggotry.

  22. #22
    i got colours WellAdjusted's Avatar
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    I remember seeing this before, too.

    I didn't read it the last time I saw it. I kept true to that form and, once again, did not read it.

  23. #23
    I loves sausage festival! djwolford's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by piranhas View Post
    I went to Minnesota for Thanksgiving and it was okay. I have yet to go to a state that sucks, but none have been better than Louisiana.
    Well Minnesota isn't really a good state in comparison to anything.
    Quote Originally Posted by Toki
    Oh, gives to me opposites werewolves that turns to humans whens the moons comes outs!
    Quote Originally Posted by Toki
    We's not goes downs that dusty roads again!
    Quote Originally Posted by Pickles
    Toki is that straight vadka? It's not even noon...

  24. #24
    Take orally. no_brains_no_worries's Avatar
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    What the fuck is a crow-hop? Punches I am familiar with:

    Jab
    Straight
    Hook
    Roundhouse
    Uppercut
    Haymaker
    Quote Originally Posted by ozzy View Post
    He came to the states for his birthday and now he's going home in a body bag. That's what you get for sending your child to Utah.
    Quote Originally Posted by raghead View Post
    i would have whipped out my dick in that situation
    Quote Originally Posted by KT. View Post
    News flash, guys can't get pregnant from vaginal sex either.
    Quote Originally Posted by Atmoscheer View Post
    But what is their policy on winning the hearts and minds through forcible vaginal entry?

  25. #25
    I loves sausage festival! djwolford's Avatar
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    Cross
    Shovel Hook
    Overhand

    A roundhouse is a kick variation though.
    Quote Originally Posted by Toki
    Oh, gives to me opposites werewolves that turns to humans whens the moons comes outs!
    Quote Originally Posted by Toki
    We's not goes downs that dusty roads again!
    Quote Originally Posted by Pickles
    Toki is that straight vadka? It's not even noon...

  26. #26
    Senior Member SneeBeezums's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mkdisciple View Post
    I feel like I've read this before.
    Same.

    I would have just tripped the bitch and walked away

  27. #27
    Merry fucking Christmas Atmosfear's Avatar
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    Why are you copypasting my LWS threads?

  28. #28
    windmills of your mind Think's Avatar
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    you're forgetting that he's a fag

  29. #29
    A very manly muppet Mad Pino Rage's Avatar
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    #27
    Atmosfear That is a good story and am glad he c&p or else I would have never known.
    Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth.
    Albert Einstein

  30. #30
    Merry fucking Christmas Atmosfear's Avatar
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    MPR this is not twitter buddy

  31. #31
    Take orally. no_brains_no_worries's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by djwolford View Post
    Cross
    Shovel Hook
    Overhand

    A roundhouse is a kick variation though.
    A roundhouse is the perfect way to go into a rabid punch. Kick variation or not.
    Quote Originally Posted by ozzy View Post
    He came to the states for his birthday and now he's going home in a body bag. That's what you get for sending your child to Utah.
    Quote Originally Posted by raghead View Post
    i would have whipped out my dick in that situation
    Quote Originally Posted by KT. View Post
    News flash, guys can't get pregnant from vaginal sex either.
    Quote Originally Posted by Atmoscheer View Post
    But what is their policy on winning the hearts and minds through forcible vaginal entry?

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