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Thread: Fun Job (I'm Being Sarcastic)

  1. 05-17-2009, 11:38 PM #1
    ViciousMentality
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    Default Fun Job (I'm Being Sarcastic)

    So work was great today. I am a behavioral aid in a group home for vulnerable adults. I like to call them the crazies. From 10:00am today until 8:00pm tonight I was dealing with really violent behaviors from one of my least favorite crazies. I spent all day attempting to restrain this chick and getting bit, punched, kicked, scratched, and spit on in the process. My only break from this is was the couple of hours I had to spend at the ER because one of the times crazy bit me she drew blood so I had to go in and get my blood tested.

    The final count is:
    One large bite mark/bruise on my left arm
    Several scratches all over both arms and hands
    One large scratch across the right cheek
    Scratches on chest
    Bite mark on ring finger
    Bite mark above my left boob
    Large bump on back of my head from hitting it on heating vent
    Several bruises on legs and hips
    Bruised cheek
    Twisted ankle

    This chick is about three inches taller than me and weighs about twice as much.

    Christ, I need a new job.

    Anyone else have any fun work related stories to share?
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  2. 05-18-2009, 12:30 AM #2
    CarpetCleaningPotHead
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    Some of the other guys at work have cleaned retirement home carpets and had naked old women walk out in front of them.

    I don't really have any weird stories myself.
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  3. 05-18-2009, 12:42 AM #3
    gorefinger
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    An extrusion operator fell asleep. His machine got off track and spewed what is now a solid 1600lb block of thermoplastic nylon onto the floor. I walked over there about 30 minutes ago and they were blasting it with blow torches and jack hammers trying to get it off the nozzle. He's gonna be in trouble in the morning.
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  4. 05-18-2009, 10:14 AM #4
    Pepsi
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    Quote Originally Posted by ViciousMentality View Post
    Bite mark above my left boob
    That would be hot if I didn't feel bad for you.
    I hear the voices inside my head. They counsel me. They understand. They talk to me.

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    pepsi reserves the right to tell cryptic to get out at any time

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  5. 05-18-2009, 10:38 AM #5
    MalReynolds
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    That's so weird! I'm currently staying in a group home for vulnerable adults and I saw this lady having one massive freakout on a young girl. Bit her boob and everything.
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  6. 05-18-2009, 10:46 AM #6
    Kal El
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    Quote Originally Posted by MalReynolds View Post
    That's so weird! I'm currently staying in a group home for vulnerable adults and I saw this lady having one massive freakout on a young girl. Bit her boob and everything.
    That's like a porno in the making.

    I'm a pharmacy tech, and the most exciting thing about my job are the overweight slobs who crash their scooter into the counter and benevolent ask me when they can have their Valium refill.
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    Yes.

    Yesterday I was playing the Mirror's Edge demo while a dude was eating me out. Mirror's Edge is fucking awesome. I'm excited.
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    he may be a faggot but in this case he is correct
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  7. 05-18-2009, 11:35 AM #7
    Think
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    yeah man that sounds like fun i would love that job (i'm being sarcastic hehe)
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  8. 05-18-2009, 06:18 PM #8
    djwolford
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    I dug a ditch for 10 hours today and poured concrete for a drain in a parking lot.

    I'll trade with you.
    Quote Originally Posted by Toki
    Oh, gives to me opposites werewolves that turns to humans whens the moons comes outs!
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    We's not goes downs that dusty roads again!
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  9. 05-18-2009, 06:50 PM #9
    ViciousMentality
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    Quote Originally Posted by djwolford View Post
    I dug a ditch for 10 hours today and poured concrete for a drain in a parking lot.

    I'll trade with you.
    I'm okay with that trade.
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  10. 05-18-2009, 08:58 PM #10
    djwolford
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    I'm down for the trade, because I'm not above hitting retarded people. I'd rather they be kids, but I can handle adult ones if I have to.
    Quote Originally Posted by Toki
    Oh, gives to me opposites werewolves that turns to humans whens the moons comes outs!
    Quote Originally Posted by Toki
    We's not goes downs that dusty roads again!
    Quote Originally Posted by Pickles
    Toki is that straight vadka? It's not even noon...
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  11. 05-19-2009, 05:49 PM #11
    Absolution
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    you oviosuly arent good good at your job
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  12. 05-20-2009, 01:57 PM #12
    faesce
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    pallet jacks all day nigga
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  13. 05-22-2009, 12:55 PM #13
    MalReynolds
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    Fun Sarcastic (I'm Being Job)
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  14. 05-22-2009, 01:10 PM #14
    Absolution
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    go cry at work faggot
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  15. 05-23-2009, 01:38 PM #15
    MalReynolds
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    Sweet Jesus, you couldn't be a bigger moron if you tried.
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