Results 1 to 19 of 19

Thread: Sorting your junk might be important (boring story).

  1. #1
    Take orally. no_brains_no_worries's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Posts
    2,770
    Credits
    192
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)

    Default Sorting your junk might be important (boring story).

    So I am undertaking the Herculean task of getting rid of the junk that my old man has collected for 50+ years. He is on a world site seeing tour and that leaves me with a month long window to clean out the following: A basement, two tool sheds, two living sized trailers, a backyard, and four dead cars that are packed tight with the most random assortment of shit ever.

    Jeff Foxworthy has wet dreams of my dad's yard it's that redneck.

    Anyway, most of the junk I can just pawn off on DI (the Mormon equivalent of the Salvation Army). They'll pretty much unload all the crap you bring to them and give you a donation receipt so you can shave a few bucks off your taxes. It's better then dropping $5 to get into the dump every trip. Anyway, for the last week I've been emptying one of the trailers that is full to the ceiling of bags of old clothes, blankets, and god knows what else.

    As you can imagine, hauling this amount of shit takes plenty of trips, even with a truck. Well for the last four days I've been hauling bags of junk to DI and the same guy unloads them for me. Well today the same guy was there waiting for me, but instead of diving right into the unloading process, he walks up to my window and asks me to roll it down.

    "You might want to sort this stuff better before you bring it it." He told me.

    "Um, okay. Why?" I asked.

    He goes back for a minute and brings out a sweater that's bundled tight. He hands the moth-eaten garment to me and then turns he back, and silently goes to unload the bags of shit. Unwrapping the tight bundle, I discovered that inside it was a Bersa Thunder 380, fully loaded. Surprise? Well that's a good word but not a strong enough word. I thanked the guy after he unloaded the rest of my crap and headed home.

    Turns out, my old man had taken the gun to show a friend a few years back, and forgot to put it back in the gun cabinet once he got home. My theory is the gun stayed inside the coat pocket for several years until the coat was finally thrown in with the rest of the dated garments where it rested inside the trailer until I loaded it up. All I gotta say is thank God the guy who unloaded my junk was honest enough to give it back instead of keeping it, or worst, just selling it off.
    Quote Originally Posted by ozzy View Post
    He came to the states for his birthday and now he's going home in a body bag. That's what you get for sending your child to Utah.
    Quote Originally Posted by raghead View Post
    i would have whipped out my dick in that situation
    Quote Originally Posted by KT. View Post
    News flash, guys can't get pregnant from vaginal sex either.
    Quote Originally Posted by Atmoscheer View Post
    But what is their policy on winning the hearts and minds through forcible vaginal entry?

  2. #2
    Band simonj's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Thicket of Solitude
    Posts
    9,881
    Credits
    1,939
    Trophies
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)

    Default

    I stopped reading as soon as I realised 'junk' did not refer to genitalia.

  3. #3
    Take orally. no_brains_no_worries's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Posts
    2,770
    Credits
    192
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)

    Default

    I'm sorry. But if the junk referred to my genitalia, it'd be a much smaller clean up.
    Quote Originally Posted by ozzy View Post
    He came to the states for his birthday and now he's going home in a body bag. That's what you get for sending your child to Utah.
    Quote Originally Posted by raghead View Post
    i would have whipped out my dick in that situation
    Quote Originally Posted by KT. View Post
    News flash, guys can't get pregnant from vaginal sex either.
    Quote Originally Posted by Atmoscheer View Post
    But what is their policy on winning the hearts and minds through forcible vaginal entry?

  4. #4
    I loves sausage festival! djwolford's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    In a television
    Posts
    7,186
    Credits
    724
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)

    Default

    Yeah I read this thread's title "Staring at your junk might be important". After I realized that it was about something completely different it became tl;dr pretty fast.
    Quote Originally Posted by Toki
    Oh, gives to me opposites werewolves that turns to humans whens the moons comes outs!
    Quote Originally Posted by Toki
    We's not goes downs that dusty roads again!
    Quote Originally Posted by Pickles
    Toki is that straight vadka? It's not even noon...

  5. #5
    aark Graculus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Posts
    33
    Credits
    0
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by djwolford View Post
    Yeah I read this thread's title "Staring at your junk might be important". After I realized that it was about something completely different it became tl;dr pretty fast.
    so you misread one word and added another... did you mean too long cant read?

  6. #6
    Band simonj's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Thicket of Solitude
    Posts
    9,881
    Credits
    1,939
    Trophies
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)

    Default

    No. No he did not.

  7. #7
    cowabunga
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Pennsylvania
    Posts
    4,424
    Credits
    2,319
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)

    Default

    jesus christ that was an awful story that did nothing but paint a picture of how white trash your family is
    I got my allowance but I spent it all on ice cream

  8. #8
    sigh TheDudeFish's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Posts
    654
    Credits
    450
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)

    Default

    this thread would have been so much better if it was actually about genitalia

  9. #9
    BANNED
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    Elk Grove, CA
    Posts
    30
    Credits
    0
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by TheDudeFish View Post
    this thread would have been so much better if it was actually about genitalia
    lol. anything about genitalia is interesting.

  10. #10
    I loves sausage festival! djwolford's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    In a television
    Posts
    7,186
    Credits
    724
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)

    Default

    Thread hijack?
    Quote Originally Posted by Toki
    Oh, gives to me opposites werewolves that turns to humans whens the moons comes outs!
    Quote Originally Posted by Toki
    We's not goes downs that dusty roads again!
    Quote Originally Posted by Pickles
    Toki is that straight vadka? It's not even noon...

  11. #11
    FFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUU Anonymous D's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Posts
    3,625
    Credits
    2,705
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)

    Default

    Well atleast it was a Bersa and not something like a 1911.
    Quote Originally Posted by Nermy2k View Post
    roses are red,
    violets are blue,
    deathmaster numbers,
    i'm gonna rape you

    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. E View Post
    I had a dream

  12. #12
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    701
    Credits
    207
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)

    Default

    i thought this thread was about heroin but then i got to the parenthesis in the title and decided to stop reading
    judging by the follow up posts i think i made the right decision

  13. #13
    bones. hippopotamus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Philadelphia
    Posts
    431
    Credits
    221
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)

    Default

    I wasn't going to read any of this, until someone said you're white trash. From that point I had to read. I'll sum up the story for everyone who isn't going to read. HAY GUYZ MY DAD IS AN ALCOHOLIC, AND I GOT A FREE GUN FROM A DIRTY REDNECK JUNKYARD.

    Post pictures, please.

  14. #14
    feel like funkin' it up gwahir's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    margaritaville
    Posts
    6,539
    Credits
    2,788
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)

    Default

    this story was so boring it has actually angered me

  15. #15
    A very manly muppet Mad Pino Rage's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Posts
    2,863
    Credits
    3,233
    Trophies
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)

    Default

    You should have shot that man and drove away! "Don't touch my guns, fucker!"
    Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth.
    Albert Einstein

  16. #16
    eh hedgerow's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Posts
    2,678
    Credits
    1,310
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)

    Default

    I will never read this thread.

  17. #17
    cowabunga
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Pennsylvania
    Posts
    4,424
    Credits
    2,319
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)

    Default

    hgehehehe

  18. #18
    BANNED
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    289
    Credits
    0
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)

    Default

    no pics = fail

  19. #19
    Canned Kal El's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Wonderland
    Posts
    2,936
    Credits
    361
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)

    Default

    I stopped reading after "Herculean"

    I just moved and had to go through all sorts of my crap so I don't want to hear about you sorting through your junk.

    Sorry.
    Quote Originally Posted by KT_ View Post
    Yes.

    Yesterday I was playing the Mirror's Edge demo while a dude was eating me out. Mirror's Edge is fucking awesome. I'm excited.
    Quote Originally Posted by victrola View Post
    he may be a faggot but in this case he is correct

Similar Threads

  1. For Sale: Guitars, Airsoft stuff, broken junk
    By Cherry Flavored Pez in forum S-Mart
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 10-16-2009, 04:06 PM
  2. Life has become boring
    By Anonymous in forum Personal Support
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 04-26-2009, 11:35 PM
  3. .pps junk
    By Sir Bifford in forum Technology Today
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 09-18-2008, 05:55 PM

Tags for this Thread

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •