Results 1 to 18 of 18

Thread: I met my hero...at the shoe store.

  1. #1
    Take orally. no_brains_no_worries's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Posts
    2,770
    Credits
    0
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)

    Default I met my hero...at the shoe store.

    Because I'm emotionally stunted and selfish, I am horrible at picking out Christmas gifts...so that's why I usually bring along a chick friend of mine to provide thoughtful insight to any gift I purchase (for example, did you know that a tire iron would not be a good gift for a grandmother?).

    So anyway, after getting the shit from the mall that would remind my relatives to get me shit this holiday season, Kriss (the friend) drags me into a shoe store before we leave. Now its not just a store that sells shoes. This is a woman's shoe store, where it's wall to wall shoes and shoes accessories that prey on the genetic weakness of women that cause them to purchase more then one pair of shoes despite them only having two feet.

    Anyway...

    I'm sitting there bored, but feel obligated to at least comment on the shoes that Kriss is showing me because she has practically done my Christmas shopping for me. But throughout the store I glanced and saw that I was not the only guy dragged into this footwear hell. One other young man with his girl friend was seated at the center of the store as she yammered on and on about what styles of shoe or boot or slipper would match with whatever dress she is wearing.

    That's when this guy becomes my hero.

    He apparently reached his breaking point. He stands up and then at the top of his voice nearly screams, "Where the fuck are the Nikes?!"

    Dead quiet followed this bold question.

    The girlfriend, horrified either at the fact that he was so crass or so ignorant to shoe store etiquette, quickly grabs him by the wrist and bolts out of the door. As I watch him leave, I realize that he is indeed, one of my heroes for creating such a simplistic way of not weaseling out of shoe shopping, but killing the desire to be brought along when his girl gets that uncontrollable urge to shoe shop.
    Quote Originally Posted by ozzy View Post
    He came to the states for his birthday and now he's going home in a body bag. That's what you get for sending your child to Utah.
    Quote Originally Posted by raghead View Post
    i would have whipped out my dick in that situation
    Quote Originally Posted by KT. View Post
    News flash, guys can't get pregnant from vaginal sex either.
    Quote Originally Posted by Atmoscheer View Post
    But what is their policy on winning the hearts and minds through forcible vaginal entry?

  2. #2
    =========== KT.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    N/A
    Posts
    9,110
    Credits
    3,779
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)

    Default

    Here's the gist of the story for those who didn't read the original post:

    My friend who is a girl, but not my girlfriend mind you, took me to go shoe shopping. Since I'm a bitch, I just let her drag me into a women's only footwear store. As I was thinking about how I could whine about this experience to my best friends on casualdiscourse later, a young man burst out to his girlfriend, "Where the fuck are the Nikes?" I thought that was pretty clever.

  3. #3
    ))) joke, relax ;) coqauvin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    the shwiggity
    Posts
    9,397
    Credits
    1,633
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)

    Default

    i put forward the motion that KTs version is funnier

  4. #4
    judge reinhold gina's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    pants
    Posts
    4,917
    Credits
    988
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)

    Default

    girls that drag their boyfriends into stores and shop like that are fucking tools anyway.

    my ex boyfriend wanted to take me shopping before my surgery. i'm very easy to shop with.

    no more than an hour because i lose interest if i can't find something within that hour. i know what will look good and what won't look good on me, so no point in trying on something that i know will look hideous on me. no muss no fuss. i prefer to do my shopping online anyway.

    and i'm the single one over here :/
    Quote Originally Posted by DickStivers View Post
    tidus you're not allowed to call gina gines ok

  5. #5
    A very manly muppet Mad Pino Rage's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Indianapolis, Indiana, United States
    Posts
    2,863
    Credits
    3,041
    Trophies
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)

    Default

    I hate shopping with anyone. I prefer to shop by myself and spend hours running from store to store finding the best prices and comparing products. I probably spend 24 hours a week at the mall(s), thrift shops, websites, and yard sales for the clothes and other goods that I want. Years of being experience of selling whatever crap I was selling has given me an impervious shield to anyone attempting to advertise their products to me. When a friend attempts to influence my habits, I become extremely annoyed I try and ditch them.
    Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth.
    Albert Einstein

  6. #6
    =========== KT.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    N/A
    Posts
    9,110
    Credits
    3,779
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)

    Default

    I like shopping with my mom because she'll just follow me around like a shopping assistant, holding clothes I picked out and whatnot.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Absolution's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Posts
    2,851
    Credits
    105
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)

    Default

    Yeah, well, you're a terrible human being.

  8. #8
    Take orally. no_brains_no_worries's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Posts
    2,770
    Credits
    0
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by KT. View Post
    Here's the gist of the story for those who didn't read the original post:

    My friend who is a girl, but not my girlfriend mind you, took me to go shoe shopping. Since I'm a bitch, I just let her drag me into a women's only footwear store. As I was thinking about how I could whine about this experience to my best friends on casualdiscourse later, a young man burst out to his girlfriend, "Where the fuck are the Nikes?" I thought that was pretty clever.
    I would like to hire you to summarize all of my work.
    Quote Originally Posted by ozzy View Post
    He came to the states for his birthday and now he's going home in a body bag. That's what you get for sending your child to Utah.
    Quote Originally Posted by raghead View Post
    i would have whipped out my dick in that situation
    Quote Originally Posted by KT. View Post
    News flash, guys can't get pregnant from vaginal sex either.
    Quote Originally Posted by Atmoscheer View Post
    But what is their policy on winning the hearts and minds through forcible vaginal entry?

  9. #9
    Senior Member srsinternets's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Posts
    864
    Credits
    0
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Absolution View Post
    Yeah, well, you're a terrible human being.
    holy tits this is the only time ive ever seen eye to eye with absolution
















    im still negarepping you anyways

    edit: also i could tell from the title this was an nbnw thread
    Last edited by srsinternets; 12-11-2009 at 08:14 AM.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Four's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Posts
    28
    Credits
    5
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)

    Default

    If you were gay this wouldn't have happened. Gays online shop, it's much more efficient - so is anal sex for that matter, since they can't get pregnant from it. Perhaps he can be your hero, baby. Maybe he can take away your pain, just like he took your breath away, on that magnificent day...in the shoe store.

  11. #11
    Take orally. no_brains_no_worries's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Posts
    2,770
    Credits
    0
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)

    Default

    Whoa whoa whoa. Gays know about the internet? I thought sycld was the token gay guy?
    Quote Originally Posted by ozzy View Post
    He came to the states for his birthday and now he's going home in a body bag. That's what you get for sending your child to Utah.
    Quote Originally Posted by raghead View Post
    i would have whipped out my dick in that situation
    Quote Originally Posted by KT. View Post
    News flash, guys can't get pregnant from vaginal sex either.
    Quote Originally Posted by Atmoscheer View Post
    But what is their policy on winning the hearts and minds through forcible vaginal entry?

  12. #12
    =========== KT.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    N/A
    Posts
    9,110
    Credits
    3,779
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Four View Post
    If you were gay this wouldn't have happened. Gays online shop, it's much more efficient - so is anal sex for that matter, since they can't get pregnant from it. Perhaps he can be your hero, baby. Maybe he can take away your pain, just like he took your breath away, on that magnificent day...in the shoe store.
    News flash, guys can't get pregnant from vaginal sex either.

  13. #13
    Merry fucking Christmas Atmosfear's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Posts
    8,675
    Credits
    1,828
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)

    Default

    Shopping is only fun when you have a large list of thigns and basically get to go shoppin spreein. Otherwise, it's a faggot it deserved to die and i hope it burns in hell.

    But yeah, I'm the guy who's shopping with his girlfriend or mom or sister or some combination of the three because i exercise veto power on stupid purchases.

  14. #14
    cowabunga
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Pennsylvania
    Posts
    4,418
    Credits
    2,309
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)

    Default

    WE UP IN BARNEYS GOIN DUMB AGAIN

    EVERY TIME WE LEAVE THE MANAGER SAY COME AGAIN
    I got my allowance but I spent it all on ice cream

  15. #15
    Superfly Pepsi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Somewhere in your pants.
    Posts
    7,906
    Credits
    531
    Trophies
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)

    Default

    -rep.

    not about al bundy.
    I hear the voices inside my head. They counsel me. They understand. They talk to me.

    Quote Originally Posted by djwolford View Post
    You know, when Tidus points out that you have failed at internetting, it's probably time to go ahead and off yourself.
    Quote Originally Posted by gwahir View Post
    pepsi reserves the right to tell cryptic to get out at any time

    it's in the CD charter

  16. #16
    Hydro did this. <JANE>'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Posts
    1,516
    Credits
    181
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)

    Default

    I was expecting to hear how you met Bon Jovi at a shoe shop.

    You dick.

  17. #17
    Senior Member ShitFace's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Posts
    5,021
    Credits
    3,238
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)

    Default

    I got to wonder, if thats your hero, your aspirations must not be that high eh?

  18. #18
    Senior Member srsinternets's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Posts
    864
    Credits
    0
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by no_brains_no_worries View Post
    (for example, did you know that a tire iron would not be a good gift for a grandmother?).
    oh haha! i get it! its because youre so manly that you dont understand why it would be an inappropriate gift!

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 11
    Last Post: 02-02-2009, 04:19 PM
  2. Replies: 3
    Last Post: 01-01-2009, 11:23 PM

Tags for this Thread

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •