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Thread: How did you find out about Santa?

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    Default How did you find out about Santa?

    Spoiler alert, Santa isn't real.

    I realized Santa was fake in 1st or 2nd grade when my dad woke me up in the middle of the night on Christmas Eve to wrap my mom's presents. I wasn't too upset though. According to my parents, they never told me Santa was real and I must have picked up that Santa nonsense from the tv or my babysitter.

    I'm kinda curious how other people found out that Santa was fake.

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    i got colours WellAdjusted's Avatar
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    I don't remember, but I remember how I found out about the tooth fairy scam. I woke up with my moms arm under my pillow and was all "WHAAA???"

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    =========== KT.'s Avatar
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    After I found out about Santa, I realized that the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny were fake too.

    I don't understand why my parents didn't tell me Santa was real but they straight up lied to me about the Easter Bunny.

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    windmills of your mind Think's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KT. View Post
    After I found out about Santa, I realized that the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny were fake too.

    I don't understand why my parents didn't tell me Santa was real but they straight up lied to me about the Easter Bunny.
    urm the easter bunny exists idiot

    yeesh get a load of this dumbass
    "ooh ooh the easter bunny is fake, postmen are real, keanu reeves is a good actor, I am a mama grizzly"
    that's alabama schooling for you ladies and gentlemen
    Quote Originally Posted by sycld View Post
    of course it's acknowledged by the Catholic Church, since it's true
    For paradise among this world
    Is finding love in boy and girl

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    windmills of your mind Think's Avatar
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    sorry that was a substandard post

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    I don't think I was ever even told the Easter Bunny was real. I don't remember believing in it anyway. I worked out Santa wasn't real quite early because none of it added up. That wasn't helped by the fact my mum refused to not give herself credit for buying my presents. It also never made sense that he would give more presents to very rich families and yet I knew kids who barely got anything. My High School girlfriend believed in him till she was about 12 or 13 though. It was one of the first times I realised I was dealing with a sheltered, repressed emtional idiot.
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    windmills of your mind Think's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by simonj View Post
    My High School girlfriend believed in him till she was about 12 or 13 though. It was one of the first times I realised I was dealing with a sheltered, repressed emtional idiot.
    dont be so hard on yourself sure you lived a sheltered life but you realised she was stupid in the end
    Quote Originally Posted by sycld View Post
    of course it's acknowledged by the Catholic Church, since it's true
    For paradise among this world
    Is finding love in boy and girl

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    Band simonj's Avatar
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    I realised she was stupid quite early on but at that age I was far more susceptible to emotional blackmail than I am happy with.
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    simonj can be a real dick sometimes.
    Quote Originally Posted by gina View Post
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    Senior Member Infernus's Avatar
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    had an idea since i was around 5, same with god

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    ))) joke, relax ;) coqauvin's Avatar
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    i never believed

    someone told me the story and i was all 'well how the fuck does he get around the entire world in one night? that's stupid.'
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    yeah obviously we'd all suck our alternate universe dicks there was never any question about that
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    Senior Member Hippocrass's Avatar
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    LALALA I CAN'T HEAR YOU SANTA IS TOO REAL!!!!
    oh

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    McTroy MrTroy's Avatar
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    I don't remember how old I was, but I was up on a chair and I found a receipt for things I had received the previous Christmas. I am not sure why the receipt was randomly on top of the fridge.
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    Probably because who looks on top of the fridge?
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    Cock Blancmange LargeDuck's Avatar
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    I didn't sleep much as a child, the stairs in my house had gaps between each step that looked into the living room. As soon as I was old enough to comprehend things. I knew.
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    I'm not adopting for the same reason i don't buy the floor model at Ikea.
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    Because unclean people will have touched the floor model and assembling your own furniture is its own reward

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    I wasn't a fucking retard so it came naturally

    I still play along though as the fun of it is really all it's about
    Quote Originally Posted by Atmosfear View Post
    scarf wasn't man enough to do it so queendork pushed herself down the stairs.

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    Strangle Hazard thank mr skeltal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sponge View Post
    I wasn't a fucking retard so it came naturally

    I still play along though as the fun of it is really all it's about
    sponge's dad: boy, honey, our son is really a dingus, he is 22 years old and still believes in santa

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    I was probably like 8 or 9 and I used to chase my cat around the house. Cat ran into my parents closet sometimes around late November/ early December and there were gifts wrapped from santa.

    I don't think it's stupid to believe in Santa when you are younger, and I agree with sponge that it's really all about the fun of it.

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    Journeyman Cocksmith Mr. E's Avatar
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    When I was 8 or 9 my family had my uncle dress up like Santa and bring me and my cousins presents around bed time. I knew that Santa wasn't actually my Uncle, so I put two and two together to make no Santa.
    Quote Originally Posted by gina View Post
    i can't tell if we're in the throes of a troll toll (to get into the boy's soul) or if there's just one more big floppy douchebag pussywhipped idiot walkin around out there

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. E View Post
    When I was 8 or 9 my family had my uncle dress up like Santa and bring me and my cousins presents around bed time. I knew that Santa wasn't actually my Uncle, so I put two and two together to make no Santa.
    also everyone knows santa isn't black so
    Quote Originally Posted by Atmosfear View Post
    scarf wasn't man enough to do it so queendork pushed herself down the stairs.

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    Cock Blancmange LargeDuck's Avatar
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    Jesus was black
    Quote Originally Posted by coqauvin View Post
    I'm not adopting for the same reason i don't buy the floor model at Ikea.
    Quote Originally Posted by simonj View Post
    Because unclean people will have touched the floor model and assembling your own furniture is its own reward

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    Dick Gregory had the best spiel about Santa Claus and black families.
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    I'm telling my kids that Santa is fictional and if they really don't like someone they should tell that person Santa is fake.

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    I'm going to force my kids to celebrate channukah. I'll celebrate Christmas but won't let them. And if they ask why I'll say "politics". And then I will throw a driedel in their face and laugh.
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    Senior Member Hippocrass's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by simonj View Post
    I'm going to force my kids to celebrate channukah. I'll celebrate Christmas but won't let them. And if they ask why I'll say "politics". And then I will throw a driedel in their face and laugh.
    i think its wrong to lie to your children and tell them that jews are real
    oh

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    feel like funkin' it up gwahir's Avatar
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    i am a jew

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    feel like funkin' it up gwahir's Avatar
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    i meant that as an answer to "when did you learn santa wasn't real" rather than as a response to hippocrass's post

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    i got colours WellAdjusted's Avatar
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    I don't think there's any harm in having children believe in magic. It's an important part of being a child.

    I plan on adopting an asian child so I won't have to tell them they are adopted. Hopefully they will just find out on their own.

    I'll get santa to tell them.

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    Senior Member Nermy2k's Avatar
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    i clicked on this thread
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    atmosfear did you suck gina's dick
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    fuck yes.

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    Journeyman Cocksmith Mr. E's Avatar
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    My uncle isn't black. I have no ties to any black relatives, unless you count the geneologically confusing Samoan portion of family on my mom's side.
    Quote Originally Posted by gina View Post
    i can't tell if we're in the throes of a troll toll (to get into the boy's soul) or if there's just one more big floppy douchebag pussywhipped idiot walkin around out there

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    A very manly muppet Mad Pino Rage's Avatar
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    It was Christmas morning and I was five years old. I asked for my dad to come home from deployment. He nor Santa never came. I never got my present. Three months later, I saw my dad.They found him in the chimney. He slipped and snapped his neck as he was trying to climb down but got stuck. He was dressed as Santa Claus.
    Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth.
    Albert Einstein

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    Senior Member Hippocrass's Avatar
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    lol
    oh

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    Take orally. no_brains_no_worries's Avatar
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    I don't think I was ever convinced that Santa was real. My parents weren't too committed to the lie.
    Quote Originally Posted by ozzy View Post
    He came to the states for his birthday and now he's going home in a body bag. That's what you get for sending your child to Utah.
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    i would have whipped out my dick in that situation
    Quote Originally Posted by KT. View Post
    News flash, guys can't get pregnant from vaginal sex either.
    Quote Originally Posted by Atmoscheer View Post
    But what is their policy on winning the hearts and minds through forcible vaginal entry?

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    ))) joke, relax ;) coqauvin's Avatar
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    my father was an asshole. he would give us 10 bucks on christmas eve and tell us not to waste it, then creep in our rooms that night and steal it back from us. the next day he'd ask where it was, then beat us for not taking care of it.
    Quote Originally Posted by Nermy2k View Post
    yeah obviously we'd all suck our alternate universe dicks there was never any question about that
    Quote Originally Posted by Atmosfear
    I don't know if Obama did anything to make that happen, but I do know that he didn't do anything to stop me from blaming him.

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    Quote Originally Posted by coqauvin View Post
    my father was an asshole. he would give us 10 bucks on christmas eve and tell us not to waste it, then creep in our rooms that night and steal it back from us. the next day he'd ask where it was, then beat us for not taking care of it.
    he was trying to teach you to not sleep
    Quote Originally Posted by Atmosfear View Post
    scarf wasn't man enough to do it so queendork pushed herself down the stairs.

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    also this thread is just proof that azns are terrible at christmas
    Quote Originally Posted by Atmosfear View Post
    scarf wasn't man enough to do it so queendork pushed herself down the stairs.

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    Take orally. no_brains_no_worries's Avatar
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    Hey you try to win at christmas when you gotta dry clean or work at a restaurant on the 25th.
    Quote Originally Posted by ozzy View Post
    He came to the states for his birthday and now he's going home in a body bag. That's what you get for sending your child to Utah.
    Quote Originally Posted by raghead View Post
    i would have whipped out my dick in that situation
    Quote Originally Posted by KT. View Post
    News flash, guys can't get pregnant from vaginal sex either.
    Quote Originally Posted by Atmoscheer View Post
    But what is their policy on winning the hearts and minds through forcible vaginal entry?

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    if you think I am here looking to display tolerance you are sorely mistaken
    Quote Originally Posted by Atmosfear View Post
    scarf wasn't man enough to do it so queendork pushed herself down the stairs.

  38. #38
    Merry fucking Christmas Atmosfear's Avatar
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    From Hollywood.

    Thanks a lot Tim Allen.

  39. #39
    cowabunga
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    Quote Originally Posted by Atmoscheer View Post
    From Hollywood.

    Thanks a lot Tim Allen.
    I TRIED TO LIKE THIS STATUS BUT IT WONT LET ME???
    I got my allowance but I spent it all on ice cream

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    I retweeted it
    Quote Originally Posted by KT. View Post
    simonj can be a real dick sometimes.
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