Quote Originally Posted by gwahir View Post
if she says she doesn't want to see other people, what do you care if she visits some guy? girls can visit guys without fucking them

(if she DOES fuck him, then dump that shit and move the hell on slowly and painfully)

if she says clearly she doesn't want to see other people, believe her. and work on your goddamn drinking.
Gwahir isn't exactly a reliable source on this, since his girlfriend has been "just visiting" other dudes for months in Amerikkka.

I mean you don't want to hear this but at 23 you are still kids. I look at my friends who got married in their early 20s and frankly, it's pathetic (even the ones who hadn't been together for 3-5 years before getting married.) The problem you have is that your lives are too wide open at that age to really understand what's important to you, and it's easy to be locked into a relationship as a constant in the uncertain "real world."

I don't think two people should be getting married until they have both established their career and family plans for themselves, and agree that their independent plans are synergistic or at least not mutually exclusive. That doesn't mean you can't get back together with her (one of my closest married friends got married at 30 and they had broken up/taken breaks 4 times over 6 years, and he by far has the most stable marriage of anyone I know.)

You have to be a whole, fulfilled person as an individual before you can expect to get (or give) anything meaningful out of your relationship. That isn't to say that you each need to be perfect, but you each need to be able to identify your shortcomings in the relationship and have the commitment to address them. If you have a drinking problem, get help. If she has 20 grand in credit card debt, cut up the cards (and probably get help.)

That said, the only way your break will be successful is if you both give it an honest shot. If one of you is miserable or resentful, it will ruin your relationship irreparably.