Thread: how to gently break up with a nice guy

Originally Posted by Trottski

I think honesty is best policy.. If you just admit that you don't find him sexually attractive anymore then there's a chance you could still be friends. And if you make other excuses e.g 'I don't want a relationship right now' then it could have repercussions if you did meet somebody else.

Yeah, you could still be friends but it will be a shitty friendship where he'll probably still have feeligns for you but resent you for ending the relationship for what could be perceived as (but kind of aren't) superficial reasons.

Seriously, do not use the phrase "I'm not sexually attracted to you anymore" or any variant. It won't ever come across as not being bitchy.

Just tell him that you don't see a future for your relationship and you feel things are running out of steam. Say you've been feeling this way for a while now and, while it's a shame things haven't worked out, it's better to end things now than carry on being stuck in a rut.

Originally Posted by simonj

Seriously, do not use the phrase "I'm not sexually attracted to you anymore" or any variant. It won't ever come across as not being bitchy.

Just tell him that you don't see a future for your relationship and you feel things are running out of steam. Say you've been feeling this way for a while now and, while it's a shame things haven't worked out, it's better to end things now than carry on being stuck in a rut.

This.

If it's not working, it's not working. No point in forcing a square peg into a star-shaped hole.

KT, you admitting you just don't see a future *is* the most honest thing you can do, and it's quite mentally mature of you. That's not what people generally want to hear when in a relationship, but it saves you from all the BS excuses that don't do anyone good. One time a guy broke up with me over text message, citing "he wanted to focus on his career." I would have had respect for him if he was just honest instead of saying that. And then there's the matter of a text, but we don't have to get into that.

If he's the nice guy you say he is, he should hopefully understand, and you'd at least have a drama-free break-up. No one likes breaking up, but he's a big boy. He'll get over it.

Originally Posted by gina

No point in forcing a square peg into a star-shaped hole.

I've had some fun trying to fit my round peg into a few star-shaped holes