Thread: Girlfriend got drunk and made out with a guy.

Originally Posted by gwahir

i don't know about anyone else, but this passage gives me cause to worry...

do you honestly think she could have been drugged into a stupor and raped? because, if that's the case, there's more on the line than her honesty and fidelity to you. there may be things she's not telling you because she's afraid of certain possibilities -- afraid of what might have happened to her, and afraid of what you might do with the information (call the police? go beat the guy with a baseball bat? she probably wants neither.) if you think there's a genuine possibility that she was raped, you must, must, MUST realise that you have absolutely no idea what is going on in her mind and what she's going through.

i'm going to branch off from public opinion here and say that the issue of you forgiving her should be put on hold until the issue of her possible rape is sorted out...

Yeah, that's what I saw, too. If she suspects she's been the victim of sexual assault, she needs to take the appropriate legal steps to prevent him from doing it to someone else. If that's your own worst-case fantasy, then it's probably not necessary.

Now, that said, I've spend years in relationships and I've almost certainly gotten more messed up, with more opportunities to cheat, on more girls that I've felt less for. I've found myself in questionable situations, blacked out, etc. I still know that I've never cheated one anyone, because I would never cheat on a significant other. If you don't have that level of trust in her, and if she doesn't have that level of trust in herself, then your relationship is already over. Cut the cord and move on.

Being 5 years into a relationship without children is no different than being 5 days into a relationship; it's a sunk cost. If the relationship is irreparably damaged, move on. If it can be fixed, then only you can decide if it's worth the effort; Gina is right, though, the 5 years you've spent with her is gone regardless of which way you choose. Start looking at tomorrow, not yesterday.