When I was 11 years old, I took up smoking cigarettes. I don't know how it happened, but it did. For the first four years or so, it was one or two a day. I never bought my own cigarettes and was given them or paid for them from a friend. After that, as my friends got older, I was able to obtain cigarettes whenever I wanted, and I moved up to about half a pack to a pack a day until I turned 18. During this time period I also dabbled around with a particular green substance.

A few months after I turned 18, and I'll never forget the date: June 2nd, I decided to quit smoking cigarettes permanently. I was having serious conversations with myself about how bad they were, and managed to quit right then and there. Since that date, I have only dragged on a cigarette a single time, the following 4th of July when I was shitfaced.

After quitting, I proudly labeled myself a non-smoker and enjoyed both improved health and confidence. Social situations were awkward for the first two years, but I had never been one of those people who tried to quit and then relapsed a few days later, so my acquaintances saw that I was serious and didn't pressure me into starting up again, which certainly helped.

Fast forward four or so years later. I just realized that on a regular day, I will smoke 1-2 cigarillos or cigars (filled with something besides tobacco). I've been smoking green using this method since I was thirteen and hadn't really thought anything of it. However, recently I've noticed that if I don't use a blunt (tobacco leaf) to smoke the green, I'll be significantly less satisfied than normal.

I finally came to the conclusion, however obvious it may be to you as a reader, that I have been using tobacco leaf blunts as a coping method for years now, and have never truly kicked the tobacco habit. This concerns me. I really enjoy using tobacco leaves, and have always justified it as "green isn't bad for you!", and "the smoke helps you cope but isn't as dangerous", but I'm beginning to think the tobacco leaves alone over time are comparable in damage to smoking cigarettes.

I am going to consider the merit of completely switching from tobacco leaves to paper and glass, because I do not intend to stop using green. I suppose you could say that I'm using this thread as a way to commit and develop a plan to kick the habit once and for all. If anybody has any words of encouragement or advice you'd like to offer me, I would be more than appreciative.

Your pal,
*aesce