Ok, dude, your first mistake is wanting to wait until you're "ready" to sever the connections. THIS WILL NEVER HAPPEN. Only after you sever them will you BECOME ready. Do not talk to her, seek her out, accept her communications, NOTHING. She is gone and out of your life and continuing to talk to her will only make things worse for you.

You are obsessed with this girl and the reason why you are obsessed with her is because you abandoned yourself while you were with her. I'd put money that you mainly miss the person you were with her, not that you miss HER, and that you just don't know how else to fill your time. Restart hobbies and interest you had before you met her or find new ones. Reconnect with your friends.

I also agree with see a counselor. I mean we all go through shit when we break up with someone, I was the one that ended an over 2 year relationship and *I* still hurt for a damn long time, but you are way too consumed by this, and you're seriously doing yourself harm.