advice that i wish someone had given me a couple years ago:

you are much less interesting than you think.

people have trouble connecting to other people sometimes. relationships are not all the same -- you may not feel connected to anyone in your life, but you will eventually, to the right people. i don't feel particularly attached to my parents either, and i don't feel like i would be crushed if anything happened to them. it's called SELF-ABSORPTION and it's unideal but whatever.

you have no control over your emotions; they just don't behave like most people's do. like maesce said, stop second guessing yourself and just fuckin' chillax. efficiency is pointless if you're efficiently boring. find stuff you like and do that. and if you don't want to be in a relationship, don't get in one. if you do want that, but you also want to do crazy shit, then do both. they're not mutually exclusive.

just stop being so whiny and self-important. have some fucking fun, man.