It's good. It's content. I'm 19, I've graduated into college and dear god do I like it.. or at least i think i do. That is, I lve the social side of college. Evverytime I go to a lecture I love it, but I find myself going less and less for no reason at all. Why am I becoming bored?

I have a girlfriend, and I like her. I'm cautious, I don't believe everything she says, I maade sure I'm the one to say "I love you first" - it hasn't happened yet.

My family is wonderful - I'm bi but I could tell them that tomorrow and I think they wouldn't care.

So why? Why right now do I fell normal - perhaps happy - but have this "thing" in the back of my head that feels like guilt and sadness together - like depression.

Logically, I am the happiest I have ever been in my life.
Emotionally, I certainly am not.

What am I even asking here?