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Thread: Seeking a depression diagnosis

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    feel like funkin' it up gwahir's Avatar
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    Default Seeking a depression diagnosis

    I'll cut right to the chase and not bother with anonymity because, frankly, I feel like venting, which requires at least SOME openness.

    Does anyone here know anything, or have any experience with, getting a diagnosis of depression? Getting counselling? Etc.

    I basically know how to get one (start with GP, ???, profit)... I guess I'm just looking for any advice, ideas, or feelings people have on the matter.

    For a few years I have, in a sort of sick way, craved a diagnosis of depression, so my occasionally extreme periods of sadness could be somehow legitimised; so I could at least tell myself I'm sad because my brain sucks, and not because my life does. But I've never really given it much consideration, mostly because when I'm really down, I'm always really down about something. My future, my talent, my love life and connection with other people, and so on. As well as that, I have a considerable family history of depression, and my observation of the depressed people in my life suggested they were hurting a lot more than I ever was. It's only now that I'm starting to really consider the possibility, because of the trouble I've had in the past few weeks just holding on to myself.

    There's a recurring feeling that my friends with their various mental health issues (artists ) speak of, which is the feeling of uncontrollable slipping -- the feeling I've had over the past three weeks or so is that I've slipped, and fallen in, and been buried alive. I've had it before, just not this bad.

    Anyway, that's the vent. Now I guess I just want people's thoughts.

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    feel like funkin' it up gwahir's Avatar
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    And, in case anyone's interested, a google of "diagnostic criteria for depression" returned a list of criteria, 5/9 of which one has to fulfill to be diagnosed with the condition. Depending on whether I look at it skeptically or hypochondrially (it's a word... now), I fit between four and eight of the criteria.

    I'm obviously not dumb enough to suggest or think that an internet diagnosis holds any weight, ever, but it does seem to suggest that seeing someone is worthy of consideration.
    Last edited by gwahir; 02-11-2011 at 09:25 AM. Reason: got my numbers wrong

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    Merry fucking Christmas Atmosfear's Avatar
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    Aren't you in school? Typically your health center will offer some type of counseling, usually up to a certain number of sessions per semester. I would start there, and let them determine if it's necessary for you to be referred to someone who can make a diagnosis and/or prescription (just depends on how the service is structured for students.)

    To go ahead and prepare you, the first thing they are going to do is question your alcohol use and before they make any prescription, they're going to want you to basically stop drinking. They'll give you a whole lot of information about the effects of alcohol and alcohol abuse and, no matter how much you insist, they are going to claim you fit the clinical definition of an alcoholic. This is step 1 for any and all depression treatment (because alcohol is obviously a huge depressant.)

    One of the big indicators of depression isn't the mood/psychological effects, its the actual physical effects. You haven't seemed to mention any of those, so it sounds more like you just need someone to talk to and validate the complexity of your self-image. A counselor is a good place to start.

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    can't post; too scared Anonymous's Avatar
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    I basically agree with everything Atmosfear said. I think it's crucial that you speak with a counselor or therapist soon. If you think you have depression, you probably do.

    And if you are diagnosed with depression, know that shit gets better. I was diagnosed with depression in 2004. With the right meds I eventually started feeling better. In 2008 I stopped seeing a therapist and in late 2009 I stopped taking my medicine. I haven't displayed any signs of depression since then.

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    feel like funkin' it up gwahir's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Atmoscheer View Post
    Aren't you in school? Typically your health center will offer some type of counseling, usually up to a certain number of sessions per semester. I would start there, and let them determine if it's necessary for you to be referred to someone who can make a diagnosis and/or prescription (just depends on how the service is structured for students.)
    Nah, graduated. Which reminds me, I'll thank everyone to start referring to me as Gwahir, B.A. from now on.

    Quote Originally Posted by Atmoscheer View Post
    To go ahead and prepare you, the first thing they are going to do is question your alcohol use and before they make any prescription, they're going to want you to basically stop drinking. They'll give you a whole lot of information about the effects of alcohol and alcohol abuse and, no matter how much you insist, they are going to claim you fit the clinical definition of an alcoholic. This is step 1 for any and all depression treatment (because alcohol is obviously a huge depressant.)

    One of the big indicators of depression isn't the mood/psychological effects, its the actual physical effects. You haven't seemed to mention any of those, so it sounds more like you just need someone to talk to and validate the complexity of your self-image. A counselor is a good place to start.
    I barely drink any alcohol at all, ever, because I just don't like it very much. So the first bit isn't really going to apply to me. (I suspect it's also probably an American thing, because that is completely unlike anything I've ever heard about speaking to a professional about depression.) As for physical symptoms -- are you referring to fatigue, trouble sleeping (or trouble over-sleeping), and so on? I didn't mention them, but they're there.

    Yes, just talking might do the trick. It would take a lot of convincing before I considered taking meds, anyway.

    Thanks anon. Part of my whole situation is that it means nothing to me to think that depression (if I have it) will get better, when I'm so pessimistic about my actual life getting better. But, like all things with me, that pessimism ebbs and flows.

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    feel like funkin' it up gwahir's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Atmoscheer View Post
    Aren't you in school? Typically your health center will offer some type of counseling, usually up to a certain number of sessions per semester. I would start there, and let them determine if it's necessary for you to be referred to someone who can make a diagnosis and/or prescription (just depends on how the service is structured for students.)
    This is really good advice. I was having some mental issues a while ago (okay that makes it sound like I was crazy, tbh it was self-esteem issues manifesting themselves in various ways in a relationship) and the school counseling service was a godsend. I know you said you're out of school, but if whatever health care system you're a part of allows you to cheaply see a therapist/counselor, do it.
    Quote Originally Posted by gwahir View Post
    As for physical symptoms -- are you referring to fatigue, trouble sleeping (or trouble over-sleeping), and so on? I didn't mention them, but they're there.
    Honestly I've been dealing with the exact same shit since like mid-January but it's entirely stress-related (and I've dealt with it in the past, also stress-related) (I know it's stress-related because I can easily identify the stressor and, in the past, the symptoms resolve themselves when I eliminate it). I'm sure there are psychoactives that can help with this (and I probably wouldn't be crazy to seek these out as these bouts really do mess with my life) but I just work until I can eliminate the stressors. If your symptoms are stress-caused, a counselor/therapist would likely help you identify them (if you can't) and work to manage them.

    Of course, you could be experiencing something completely different but as I'm not a professional in the field my experiences are all I have to offer.
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    feel like funkin' it up gwahir's Avatar
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    As an update, I saw my GP and described the qualities of these periods I have (dense and lasting periods of sadness/anguish and general low self-esteem; continuous fatigue no matter how I've slept; complete absense of appetite; non-suicidal but recurring thoughts of death, the feeling I'd rather not be alive; a feeling of intense cold despite putting on more clothes or a heater; inability to relate or communicate or take responsibility), and he agreed it was some kind of depressive illness. I've just had a blood test to rule out a thyroid problem (and lupus) and other unlikely things and he'll see me next week to discuss more in-depth.

    Quote Originally Posted by sponge View Post
    I'm sure there are psychoactives that can help with this (and I probably wouldn't be crazy to seek these out as these bouts really do mess with my life) but I just work until I can eliminate the stressors. If your symptoms are stress-caused, a counselor/therapist would likely help you identify them (if you can't) and work to manage them.
    It's not really stress-related, what I go through, but it does seem to be triggered by things. Not always events, but processes and feelings and things that relate to how things are in the world.

    I'm the same as you -- or have been until now. I brush off these periods of darkness as normal considering I am generally unhappy with where I am in life, and work at fixing the things that trigger me instead of working on my own reactions to them.

    Now I've come to realise that my way of dealing and thinking does not equip me well to help myself, and I just need outside help.

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    λεγιων ονομα μοι sycld's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Atmoscheer View Post
    To go ahead and prepare you, the first thing they are going to do is question your alcohol use and before they make any prescription, they're going to want you to basically stop drinking. They'll give you a whole lot of information about the effects of alcohol and alcohol abuse and, no matter how much you insist, they are going to claim you fit the clinical definition of an alcoholic. This is step 1 for any and all depression treatment (because alcohol is obviously a huge depressant.)
    That's... not true. Or at least it's not true if the guy you're seeing isn't a quack.

    Quote Originally Posted by Atmoscheer View Post
    One of the big indicators of depression isn't the mood/psychological effects, its the actual physical effects. You haven't seemed to mention any of those, so it sounds more like you just need someone to talk to and validate the complexity of your self-image. A counselor is a good place to start.
    But this is, though I would say "isn't just the mood/psychological effects."

    I'm surprised that Atmosfear is being... compassionate. A little.

    You might be mildly depressed, or you might be borderline, or you might be something else than "depressed," I guess.

    I dunno if I should be telling you some of the symptoms of depression and anxiety, which are in the spoiler, in case you are going to start recognizing phantom "symptoms." So there's your fair warning

    Spoiler


    Probably the two most accurate self-assessments are the Burns Depression Checklist and the Burns Anxiety Checklist, though of course neither of them ever replaces consultation with a professional... and even then, professionals are sometimes full of shit. Sometimes.


    Or maybe you're just feeling down because zee artistes must feel that, eh life, she iz la merde.


    Quote Originally Posted by gwahir View Post
    As an update, I saw my GP and described the qualities of these periods I have (dense and lasting periods of sadness/anguish and general low self-esteem; continuous fatigue no matter how I've slept; complete absense of appetite; non-suicidal but recurring thoughts of death, the feeling I'd rather not be alive; a feeling of intense cold despite putting on more clothes or a heater; inability to relate or communicate or take responsibility), and he agreed it was some kind of depressive illness. I've just had a blood test to rule out a thyroid problem (and lupus) and other unlikely things and he'll see me next week to discuss more in-depth.
    Yeah that sounds like depression, and those sorts of blood tests are typically the first things done.


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    feel like funkin' it up gwahir's Avatar
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    hehe thanks for the post; i also forgot to list losing interest in things that normally drive me (eg theatre)

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    Pfft well I didn't have to make that long ass post then

    But yeah, if you want to know about depression outside of a clinical perspective... I'm your go to guy.


    ._.


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    Merry fucking Christmas Atmosfear's Avatar
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    Well sycld since he is no longer in the educational system and doesn't drink, it is pretty safe to say that they won't press the issue of alcohol. But for everyone who goes to a campus health center and is a normal student, they're an alcoholic because that's what students do. I guess if you're one of those horrible people whose social life in college included World of Warcraft and studying, then maybe they won't bother you.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Atmoscheer View Post
    Well sycld since he is no longer in the educational system and doesn't drink, it is pretty safe to say that they won't press the issue of alcohol. But for everyone who goes to a campus health center and is a normal student, they're an alcoholic because that's what students do. I guess if you're one of those horrible people whose social life in college included World of Warcraft and studying, then maybe they won't bother you.
    Welp notwithstanding that I was one of those horrible people whose social non-life consisted of World of Warcraft, studying, and masturbation (how could you possibly forget masturbation), I didn't even try to talk to anyone about this when I was an undergrad.

    I missed that you were referring to student health centers specifically; because you said "This is step 1 for any and all depression treatment," I thought you meant in general.


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    Senior Member ozzy's Avatar
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    Maybe this isn't worth mentioning since you aren't from the overly medicated US of A, but avoid taking medication as a first response. Not necessary most of the time (unless you want to be lazy about it) but thats just my opinion.

    Quote Originally Posted by gwahir View Post
    i also forgot to list losing interest in things that normally drive me (eg theatre)
    Want to expand more on that? I know nothing about theater and I'm having trouble grasping the ways someone could lose interest. Didn't you write a play before? Is that something you want to do again? No inspiration? I'm curious.

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    feel like funkin' it up gwahir's Avatar
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    i'm directing a show later this year (hasn't started production yet though) and normally i'd be spending a lot of time and energy on it already and it'd be exciting me all the time, only at the moment i don't really care and am only going through the motions

    i am only doing what's required of me at the moment because i know at some point i WILL care again

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    Senior Member ozzy's Avatar
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    Have you lost interest in theater before? Sounds like you're speaking from experience. If not, are you sure you aren't growing out of theater?

    Just wondering if its a "can't get interested in theater because of depression" or a "depression because you can't get interested in theater." I'm sure you know that answer though.

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    feel like funkin' it up gwahir's Avatar
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    it definitely feeds from the depression. i've lost interest in the stories i was writing, seeing my friends, attending parties, going to shows, being IN shows, any projects that interested me before... and so on. i just used theatre because it's a poignant example -- given that i'm directing a full stage musical this year, for the first time, i should be going out of my mind with excitement. and when i get out of this haze, i will be.

    truthfully, i haven't completely lost interest. it fades in and out. but my "normal state" is VERY interested. it's my life, and i love it.

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    Senior Member ozzy's Avatar
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    I would think too that having a new theater "project" to throw your energy at would kinda snap you out of it, but I suppose theres much more to it. Good luck next week trying to figure out the problem.

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    feel like funkin' it up gwahir's Avatar
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    historically there has been nothing that can snap me out of it; if the "trigger" problem goes away, i can come out of it... otherwise it takes a good while and i just have to wait it out.

    in the meantime, till my next appointment on monday, it's good to have this thread for people's thoughts and also so i can vent. i mean right now my heart's beating really hard and breathing is a little laboured but acknowledging it and mentioning it somewhere does help me keep control of the wheel, so to speak.

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    Quote Originally Posted by gwahir View Post
    i mean right now my heart's beating really hard and breathing is a little laboured but acknowledging it and mentioning it somewhere does help me keep control of the wheel, so to speak.
    those are signs of anxiety, not depression.


    also, depression is not like just "being sad"; it's like being in mourning. sometimes something to take your mind off of it works, but often it makes it hard to concentrate or work on anything just like mourning over something would.


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    Quote Originally Posted by gwahir View Post
    historically there has been nothing that can snap me out of it; if the "trigger" problem goes away, i can come out of it... otherwise it takes a good while and i just have to wait it out.

    in the meantime, till my next appointment on monday, it's good to have this thread for people's thoughts and also so i can vent. i mean right now my heart's beating really hard and breathing is a little laboured but acknowledging it and mentioning it somewhere does help me keep control of the wheel, so to speak.
    Do you know what the "trigger" problem is?

    And yes, feel free to keep posting. I'm genuinely interested.

    Quote Originally Posted by sycld View Post
    those are signs of anxiety, not depression.
    They are, but that doesn't mean he isn't depressed. Trying to figure out whats causing him to be depressed is likely to bring on anxiety.

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    I think many people who suffer from anxiety also have depression.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ozzy View Post
    They are, but that doesn't mean he isn't depressed. Trying to figure out whats causing him to be depressed is likely to bring on anxiety.
    I know, I'm just saying that because it's important to differentiate between the two conditions.

    Quote Originally Posted by KT. View Post
    I think many people who suffer from anxiety also have depression.
    And yes this is true too.


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    Quote Originally Posted by sycld View Post
    I know, I'm just saying that because it's important to differentiate between the two conditions.
    Gotcha.

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    feel like funkin' it up gwahir's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sycld View Post
    those are signs of anxiety, not depression.
    i don't have an anxiety "condition". if my heart is thumping and breathing is hard it's just because i'm particularly anxious in that moment. i can't really remember it happening any time other than the last couple of weeks and when i'm nervous about something (like i'm about to go onstage).

    Quote Originally Posted by sycld View Post
    also, depression is not like just "being sad"; it's like being in mourning. sometimes something to take your mind off of it works, but often it makes it hard to concentrate or work on anything just like mourning over something would.
    i doubt this was directed at me but yeah. that's basically it.

    Quote Originally Posted by ozzy View Post
    Do you know what the "trigger" problem is?
    almost always. this time it was my girlfriend's and my breakup. the breakup was fine, but there was post-breakup fallout that happened exactly the right way to trigger all my worst feelings.

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    Quote Originally Posted by gwahir View Post
    i don't have an anxiety "condition". if my heart is thumping and breathing is hard it's just because i'm particularly anxious in that moment. i can't really remember it happening any time other than the last couple of weeks and when i'm nervous about something (like i'm about to go onstage).
    Well I mean if you're getting anxiety attacks at unusual times then yeah that's I guess whatever you're calling an "anxiety condition" or whatever.


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    Quote Originally Posted by sycld View Post
    Well I mean if you're getting anxiety attacks at unusual times then yeah that's I guess whatever you're calling an "anxiety condition" or whatever.
    I didn't know the term for it. But it's the difference between being anxious and having anxiety. And I wouldn't call them attacks.

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    I should mention, it's very important to me not to be over-diagnosed or anything like that. Which is basically the reason seeking help has taken this long. I spent my whole younger life being a complete wuss, so I've had to learn not to overdramatise everything bad that happens to me.

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    Okay, whatever you want to think gwahir, if it makes things any better for you to deal with them.

    All I was saying is that you seemed to express having your heart race and your breathing be difficult as symptoms of whatever you're going through. Those are clearly symptoms of anxiety. It's not like you're going to get any expensive tests done or take any medication just because you may have a bout of anxiety disorder too. If you just want to think it all comes under one label because using two labels would make you a hypocondriac I won't try to convince you otherwise.

    But anxiety and depression often go hand in hand anyway.
    Last edited by sycld; 02-17-2011 at 04:10 AM.


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    Atheists are quite right

  35. #35
    feel like funkin' it up gwahir's Avatar
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    As a further update, my GP made the diagnosis "official" and referred me to a psychiatrist who will determine whether he thinks I should have drugs or just counselling.

    I do not want drugs.

    This was kind of a non-update, come to think of it.

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    Senior Member Nermy2k's Avatar
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    Explain to me why you don't want drugs.
    Quote Originally Posted by Nermy2k View Post
    atmosfear did you suck gina's dick
    Quote Originally Posted by atmosfear View Post
    fuck yes.

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    Senior Member ShitFace's Avatar
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    I'd also like to hear that.
    Andy says:
    prince of persia is more skill than hack and slash
    ShitFace says:
    i dont think skill is a genre of game lol
    Andy says:
    of course it is you have seen the crystal maze havnt you?
    he says what next a skill physical mental?


    Blind people don't see black, they see the same thing you see out of your elbow - VengfulScars

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    I think it's obvious why he wouldn't want to take drugs: negative side effects.

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    Also, not all anti-depression drugs work the same and it might take many months to figure out the correct combination (and in the meanwhile you might actually feel worse).

    So I think avoiding drugs, if possible, and just using therapy at first is preferable.

  40. #40
    Senior Member ShitFace's Avatar
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    Sounds like someone refusing chemo to me.
    Ok maybe a bit of an extreme example...but still.
    Andy says:
    prince of persia is more skill than hack and slash
    ShitFace says:
    i dont think skill is a genre of game lol
    Andy says:
    of course it is you have seen the crystal maze havnt you?
    he says what next a skill physical mental?


    Blind people don't see black, they see the same thing you see out of your elbow - VengfulScars

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