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The new blood girl.
So since I am driving a big ass truck and gas prices are still painfully high, I came up with a few ideas to get some extra coin. My first plan involved working, but lets face it, that sucks. My second plan involved being a pimp, but I ain't got no ho's to go upside their heads. My third plan was to help save a life and donate some plasma (and get some cash too.)
Unfortunately, it was a new employee who was assigned to take my first sample.
At first it was kinda cute the way she blushed as she asked me a few of the preliminary questions such as "Have you exchanged gifts for sex in the last four years?" Jokingly I told her that if I could afford getting hookers or was one, I probably wouldn't be selling my blood. Instead of laughing she blushed more as she asked if I had boned anyone from Africa in the last ten years. Though that would have made me a ten year old pimp, I told her no.
Fast forward after many pauses for her as she stumbled over the phrases "Sexual Favors," "Anal," and "Unprotected."
Now we get to the part where I am balling and unballing my hand into a fist to get the good ol' juices flowing. As I am doing this, she puts on some fresh rubber gloves and then attempts to put on one of those rubber ties on my arm. First time she did it, it was so tight that it was painful. The second time it slipped down to my elbow. Third time was just right save for the arm hair she ripped out accidentally.
Now comes the last part of the process and for me, the scariest. The needle. So she takes one syringe shakily. Too shakily. She dropped the damn thing where it rolled off the counter. Apologizing she picks it up and dusts it off. I was like "FUCK NO!" and she got the point (ha ha) and threw that needle away. She then confesses it was her first day (no way!) and please excuse her why she goes and cries...er...gets a new needle.
The second she was in the back room I was gone. Ninja vanish gone.
So anyone else have a scary story of an incompetent/nervous medical examiner or person?
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Nice pun.
I wish they gave us money here for donating blood... I do it every other month but all I get is oreo cookies (which really is enough for me)
The first time I gave blood my nurse fucked up the first vein and had to use my other arm.. then I went to work and because of the lifting I did the majority of my forearm was bruised
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So I said so so many times that my friends kicked my head into the back of a net! So I said that that was uncalled for. So then I said so again and I rose up and so'ed them to death with my excellent vocabulary!
In conclusion, please stop saying SO all of the time or I will become a very sad panda. You don't want that.
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No_Brains your threads resemble a very unfortunate stand up routine.
Only you have an advantage because you get to finish talking before you get heckled.
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Wow I made this thread FOREVER ago. Whatever happened to necroposting?
Thanks Simonj, I'll be sure to hire Gina to do my writing from here on in.
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Oh wow I did not notice the OP date.
Jesus, I was thinking this was a step back for you.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by
faesce
ok
Quote:
Originally Posted by
faesce
great thread :)
Great posts for a great thread
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Well I came into to the doctor's office one day.
"Aren't I a little young to be needing a prostate examination?"
"I assure you, this is absolutely necessary. Now, please remove your pants. Slowly. That's it. Now take off your underwear...SLOWLY! Slowly! Yes, that's it, that's good, very good, yes...
Now. Lean over. Very good... oh my! Your balls are quite low, yes... considering how cold it is in here."
"Wait, is this... uh aaaaah ah... what..."
"Please, please just trust me... Relax, I'm a doctor... Yes, that's right. Just relax your muscles in the area... yes, very good, that's it..."
"Ah wow... *gasp* uh *gasp*"
And soon enough, I was gay.
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I always suspected that was how it happened
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Wow. Thanks sycld. As if I didn't fear the doctor's office enough.
Thank god the worst Webmd can do is send me dirty IM's.
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Oh great, now I've got a hard on.
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I used to donate plasma in Clarksville, TN. At the time you could do it twice a week, $15 the first time and $25 the second. Takes less than an hour to get in and out after your first visit, so I figured what the heck.
Anyway, my fifth or sixth time I got the new person. She stuck the 14 gauge needle in and missed the vein so she started digging for it. After about five minutes or so she called someone else over who spent another five minutes digging before finally finding it. I think that was my last time going as I spent the next month with a multi-colored bruise from my bicep to my wrist. It was cool watching the blood go into the centrifuge and feeling the colder blood coming back in.
