And we're back. Technical difficulties have messed me up but I'll recover shortly.
And we're back. Technical difficulties have messed me up but I'll recover shortly.
So we opened with a eulogy from Grimes at Dale's burial. It's pretty dumb, and it's interspersed with scenes of Darryl, Shane, Andrea, and T Dawg checking the fenceline and massacreing some zombies. In about five minutes, we'll be reminded that T Dawg still doesn't have a name. This is acceptable, I guess, since this is already a world fill with zombies (in which no one has ever seen a zombie movie), where the CDC is a self-destructing tactical nuke, and where bullets, gas, and product placement are infinite.
Anyways, the biggest takeway is that we're going to "do it Dale's way" from here on out (no need to explain how dumb that is.) Shane still isn't happy with Grimes' leadership and Grimes keeps telling him to shove it, so they've decided to move everyone into the house, set up sentries, and ditch Randall further away. I don't really get the point of all that; 18 miles, an hour, what the fuck does it matter? Just shoot him, he's bleeding all over the place anyways.
Carl confesses that he saw the walker and returns Darryl's gun to Shane while he is loading up the trunk with some 2x8s (seriously how much gas is there on this farm?)
Then Shane nails some boards to the metal windmill while talking to Lori. Between Randall's magic healing legs and Shane's magic multi-material construction talents, this group is bound for great things. Now we learn a little more about how Lori and Shane started banging in the woods while Rick was laid up in the Zombie Hospital. Lori thanks Shane for taking care of her and apologizes for whoring about with him, then walks away.
They start moving into the the house, and Hershel offers his bed to the Grimes family, but Lori, declines, and then T Dawg provides the comic relief (because he's black.) Maggie offers to have Glen move into her room, but he gets cold feet because her dad is in the house, despite the fact that he already received Hershel's blessing to bang Maggie at will.
Cut to... The world's most hilarious Mad Men ad ever. Comparing an excellent show like Mad Men to a horribad show like The Walking Dumb is just ridiculous; they reduced Mad Men to its most pathetic and superficial aspects (lots of sex! drinking like Hershel used to! Vom.)
After the break, we come back to a few dumb scenes. Shane tells Carl's secret confession to Grimes, who hands the gun back to Carl a few minutes later (seriously, Darryl is going to notice Carl's shiny new gun looks a LOT like his old gun, guys.) Glen and Andrea go all sappy Dale-memory while they fix the Winnebago. Apparently all you need to fix a Winnebago is some misty eyes and a flathead screwdriver.
Open with: Randall trying to redneck-on-the-roof his way out of his handcuffs. Shane walks in and he stops, but he keeps whimpering. Shane sits on a chair, and looks like he's about to confess.
Then he slaps himself in the head a few times, stands up, and holds a gun to Randall's head. Then... nothing happens. Good job.
Shane checks his handcuffs, see's him all bloody, and then we cut to Darryl receiving Dale's old pistol and wondering "where the hell" his gun went. T Dawg, errand boy supreme, walks to the barn to get Randall for the dropoff, and realizes he is missing.
Cut to: Shane marching him through the woods. Shane reveals that he's leaving the group, asking Randall to lead him to his group. The walk a few steps further, and then, behind a tree, we hear some shuffling. Shane walks back into sight, and then runs himself face-first into a tree. He returns to camp, rouses the group to follow him with some bullshit story that Randall punched him in the face and stole his gun. They fan out to find Randall, though Daryl is already skeptical of Shane's stories.
Expert tracker Kate from Lost Darryl can't track him in the woods. Commercial break.
I'm unable to watch this show right now and I am loving this.
Keep up the good work.
EDIT: also... COMBO BREAKER
The first two words of tonight's phrase are Waste No so I assume the correct phrase will be "Waste No Time" or "Waste No Bullets" but it really should be "Waste No Thoughts" trying to fill in the stupid plot holes. How fucking dumb is it that they would "do it Dale's way" now? Dale's way was to sulk about the farm whining until he got chest-raped by a fucking Zombie. REAL EFFECTIVE DALE.
It's now night time, which we learned last episode is the perfect time to be walking around aimlessly.
Also, considering Shane's busted nose and Randall's bleeding from most of his skin surfaces, there ought to be plenty of walkers chasing them for their sweet Zombie Salt Lick blood.
Darryl finds Shane and Randall's tracks, and some blood on the tree. He's piecing the bullshit together "They had a dust-up" when they hear a twig snap and reveal either Randall or a walker.
ZOMBIE RANDALL!
Which means he must have been bit by something. Which means there must be another one.
Cut to... Shane and Grimes.
Oh yeah, Zombie Randall is dead and we saw Darryl miss his first crossbow bolt. Glen knifed his head. Story arc over.
Grimes asks some doubtful questions of Shane, which is mostly evades. Hell of a poker face, Shane.
Daryl, full-time redneck, expert tracker, and occasional zombie pathologist (autopsies performed: one; no Sophies found inside), tells us that Zombie Randall has a broken neck and no bites. WELL THAT SEEMS WEIRD. ALMOST LIKE SHANE LIED ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED!
Your phrase of the week is "Waste No Bullets."
We return to Grimes interrogating Shane. The door was closed when T Dawg "rolled up" (THAS RAYCESS!) Shane says he must've slipped through the rafters (we already saw Darryl patching those.)
And now we have the reveal. Shane is going to kill Grimes in the woods. He pulls his gun, and Grimes tells him he won't be welcomed back. Shane explains his story to Grimes, about how Randall shot him and whatnot. It's nonsense. Grimes is talking his way out of it.
This is a Mexican standoff except Shane has put his gun away and Grimes hasn't pulled his.
Grimes tells him "there's still a way back from this" and tells Shane he'll walk back to the farm with him or something.
Officer Grimes, hostage negotiation team.
GRIMES DRAWS FIRST BLOOD.
As he is talking Shane down, handing him his pistol, Grimes knifes him in the heart and cries a little bit.
We're seeing zombies eating stuff and a tight focus on Shane's face.
SHANE GOTS THE ZOMBIE-ISM
Carl appears with Carl face. "DAD?!?!?!"
He pulls on Grimes.
Grimes is like "NIGGAS TRY TO BE THE KING BUT THE ACE IS BACK!"
Rule Change! Zombies are now animated without getting bitten! Shane starts chasing after Grimes.
Carl pulls the trigger.
Shane has died for the second time in this episode.
Rename this shit The Hunger Zombies. Fucking rule changes.
Anyways, there a huge herd of zombies in the woods that no one has noticed. Shane and Carl turn around to walk back as the camera pans, revealing ZOMBIE FLASH MOB just over the hill. Oh shit!
Has Carl befriended twice-dead Shane?
That's the end of the episode, and therefore the end of the liveblog, folks. Join us again next week for the Season Finale smorgasbord of Carlface and zombie eats. From the previews, we already know they're going to be leaving the house, even though they have reinforced the lower entrances and can pick off all the zombies from the roof above. So its looking like the finale will be just as solid as every other episode.
Till next week!
i've been waiting for a while on the reveal that people will zombify without getting bitten (from the comics)
so the bite just kills you -- it's dying at all that zombifies you
I mean it's a typical Walking Dead non-reveal. That's why the show is so goddamned terrible. They lampshaded it two weeks ago with the whole "I don't see any bites" "Maybe it's scratches" "I don't see any scratches" "Must be scratches" "OK, it must be scratches" scene. It was just a matter of time before the dipshit characters figured it out, though it goes without saying that the doctor at the CDC probably should've mentioned the methods of transmission at some point in all his bullshit, pre-suicidal research.
yeah at the time i figured he either told rick that or about lori's pregnancy -- but if he told rick that everyone comes back, wouldn't he have taken the precaution and stabbed shane in the motherfucking head???
this show is so dumb so dumb
but i will continue to watch it till it's done
Well you can't assume anything that isn't explicitly stated in The Walking Dead. Fortunately, the characters are all so goddamned dumb that there's no need to infer; within 5 minutes of anything happening, someone will explain it (as long as it isn't superhuman healing, or who still votes for Grimes as leader.)
is this thread actually serious
this is like the talking dead, but in text form. and without any celebrities. coolll
oh hey, a celebrity opinionQuote:
Originally Posted by dark llama
DL feel free not to participate in any thread you don't like.
by the way atmosfear i can't believe you didn't mention t-dawg's most memorable line to date in this episode, upon seeing that randall is missing: "aw HELL no"
I would never give him credit for stealing one of LL Cool J's most memorable lines.
i expected a mention at least
a comment i've stolen from the AV club review:
So, T-Dog, you want to have the opportunity to speak in this episode?
Well, in that case, we're gonna need you on double work duty.
And no, you can't have the couch.
Also, please carry this heavy crate around for most of the next hour.
Oh, and just FYI, when we assault the zombies, you get the hammer. Sorry, all of the weapons with long handles are already spoken for.
What's that? Oh, you DON'T want to talk? That's what I thought.
So I guess since Shane is the newest member to die they'll start to do things Shane's way?
To be honest, until Dale died semi-tangentially, Shane's way was pretty effective. That's the whole joke about King Grimes... He's consistently horrible at his job, but the other characters just dumbly accept that he's the leader.
I assume it's because he kept his Sheriff's Crown and Shane lost his while he was busy banging Grimes' wife.
Didn't one of the previous episodes mention T-Dog's name to be Theodore? I'm pretty certain of it.
this was the worst episode ever.
Nice rule change there guys