[ATTN BRITS] Questions about travelling to the UK

I'll be in Portsmouth for a bit, and was surfing the internet for all the information I could soak up about Portsmouth and the UK in general. Just a few questions I have from browsing:

1) Is it true that you shouldn't tip? To anyone at anywhere?

2) The service industry is particularly horrible, you are all accustomed to waiting and horrible customer service, and that as a customer you should treat whoever is serving you with contempt and disdain?

3) Don't wear white socks because only pikeys (ie Snatch?) wear white socks?

That's all I got right now, but I am definitely confounded by this information. Maybe I'm being a schmuck, but I don't really know if this is true. If you have any more advice about just British things, being British, Portsmouth, London, or anywhere else in the souther UK, let me know. Thanks!

1)You can tip, and I do always tip staff at a barbers/hairdressers, and provided the food and service were at least alright, staff at a restaurant; but it seems that it is a lot more discretionary here than in the US; you'll find prices are probably higher here partly because service industries don't assume tips.

2)Varies enormously, and not just "you get what you pay for"; you'll find dirty, cheap establishments where the people are friendly and the food is top notch, and vice versa. It's a matter of finding places you like. Again, as a customer, you're free to act as you like, I'd like to think that most of us are polite (I'd imagine ingratiatingly so to an American) but of course there are bad eggs. As for waiting for service, we Brits just love a nice queue.

3)You can wear white socks. A pikey's a pikey for other reasons.

1. Always tip but don't expect any gratification.

2. Customer service people treat you as if you are in fact not the most important person in the world.

3. Never heard of that one.

lol are you joking or not simonj? oh nevermind i missed the not for 2.

yeah these guys have it covered really...
I'm in portsmouth if you want to meet up.

the fat fox pub on albert road does nice food.
as does sakura on same road (good sushi)

Am I wrong about anything?

Obviously by "always tip" I mean "unless the waiter is a complete dick" or "unless the waitress spills your pint on your face" or "unless your cab driver crashes into a police car while you're smoking a joint". Otherwise, I'd say I'm pretty spot on.

yeah well those are all true
but i have to say i've never tipped in my life, i thought it just wasn't done here?

guess i've been an unintentional dick to all the waiters/waitresses/taxi drivers up until now.

Just saw your edit. Nvm

Also, of course you don't tip, darling, you lack class.

oh god british civil war incoming

leave a cash tip. some places will ask if you want to tip with your credit card but if you leave a few quid for a nice waiter/waitress they can pocket it straight away.

but be mean with your tips. our whole economy is based on thinking americans are pricks, dont ruin that for us!

also, in pompey, check out the gunwharf and maybe the dockyards. HMS Victory is quite a nice attraction, especially for a navy fag like you.

dont bother with brothels, go to tiger tiger. free clunge.

Free? You ever bought a drink in Tiger Tiger? It'd be far cheaper to go to a brothel.

(I'm assuming the prices in the Portsmouth Tiger Tiger are the same as in the Manchester one)

you dont need to buy the drinks, just be the first man they see when they come out the bathroom

I don't understand, if you don't buy the drink how do you spike it?

After seeing the prices you have to pay for food you will be asking for money back, not leaving a tip

get drunk then go to tiger tiger

gunwharf is pretty cool
and yeah hms victory is a nice sight.
southsea has a nice common and pier


also simonj, i am the classiest person you'll ever have the pleasure of meeting.

I always tip people VERY generously. Unless of course they are complete assholes. In such a scenario I make sure they know I disliked their service and did not simply forget about the tip.

Pennies for everyone.

when i get poor service, i just leave insultingly small tips

why yes, my bill is $150, and your tip is 15 cents.

maybe you should pay attention to me.

Nobody cares what you guys do because you're not British so it has no relevance to the thread.

coqauvin : this thread :: the British "empire" circa 2011 : international prominence

I DIDN'T REALIZE THAT TIPPING WAS A UK-ONLY PHENOMENON

you can't labi-stretch, coqauvin

Don't even act like you can labi stretch, coqauvin

I don't know much about brothels, but they have to be cleaner, cheaper and less humiliating than TigerTiger.

The girls will probably be a damn sight more intelligent, too.

i agree with largeduck, but certainly not simonj.

brothel bitches are either studying law, funding their move from eastern europe or investing in a significant amout of drugs. VERY clever lasses.

That's what he's saying....

MPR, I'd like to assure you that we're not all like ShitFace and Sailor Jack. Most of us can actually read.

filthy glasses, sorry, i was going down on simonjs mum.

MPR, I'd like to assure you that we can all do the same. Happy hunting :)

If you're getting your eyes involved, you're doing it wrong.

With my mum, you definitely need to use your eyes.

Believe me.

I thought that (2) only held consistently in Romance language countries.

Italians are a bunch of cunts. No kidding.

I can read bro

I cannot read bro, for I am a woman.

Oh God it works on so many levels (2)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by sycld

I thought that (2) only held consistently in Romance language countries.

Italians are a bunch of cunts. No kidding.

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Nope Australia is pretty awful as well.

Denmark and Germany were delightful, though.

service is only as horrible as any other country, it depends on the individual.

as for waiting, you cant come to Britain and not expect to join in the national past-time of queuing and maoning about it.

I just read an article about the British tradition of queuing (http://www.icons.org.uk/theicons/col...english-custom).

WTF? This article makes it out to be that the UK is the most civilized country in the world because it's citizens have "mastered the concept of the queue like no other country". Is this the prevailing attitude of Brits? I mean, do you guys really pride yourself that much on your stand-in-a-line skills?

If you've ever been to a country where people don't queue, you'll agree it's quite barbaric.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by KT.

I just read an article about the British tradition of queuing (http://www.icons.org.uk/theicons/col...english-custom).

WTF? This article makes it out to be that the UK is the most civilized country in the world because it's citizens have "mastered the concept of the queue like no other country". Is this the prevailing attitude of Brits? I mean, do you guys really pride yourself that much on your stand-in-a-line skills?

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Yes KT, we pride ourselves on being able to stand in line, and we also insist that we invented queuing.
LOL.

The only thing that slightly rings true in this thread is simons statement about how we complain about queuing up.
Do you believe everything you read about brits?


Brits are the best lovers in the world as well as natural jedis with mind reading skills.

and we're really funny on the internet

Well I mean, obviously some Brits think that about queuing in the UK or else that article wouldn't exist.

Where did I say anything about moaning about queueing up? I bloody love queueing up. It's my favourite thing right up there with class warfare and murdering Ipswich prostitutes.

Reading these articles about queuing in England (http://www.icons.org.uk/theicons/col...uing/biography) is blowing my mind.

Oh yeah I forgot that one.

edit: yeah my mistake simon, you didn't say anything of the sort.
but that is the only real true thing about britons and queuing up. We like complaining about it.
Then again we like complaining in general so...

also lol that link kt...
where do you find this shit

I do not like all your complaining.

Quote:

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Have you ever wondered on an average day, how many queues are created, joined, jumped or navigated across the country? Millions probably

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Yeah, probably.

lol i think you're mistaking my thinking outloud for complaining simon

It was a joke. Don't make me negrep you boy.

lol

Why the fuck are you reading an article on queuing KT? Read some fucking Bill Bryson.

Thanks for the advice. I'll definitely want to see the gunwharf and the HMS Victory as well as Tiger Tiger. Fat Fox Pub sounds like a right on place to be. Sakura sounds like a small restaraunt chain we have over here in Virginia.

fat fox used to do the best steak i've ever had in my life (i like it blue) until they changed chefs...but its still pretty fucking good.
porters is good as well, little bit further down the road from sakura and fat fox.

its possible you'll see me in any of those, i live just round the corner.

i can see you right now
i'm right behind you

Had a great time in Portsmouth and London. Stopped by in Cartagena, Spain which was absolutely boring. Currently in Naples, Italy which smells and is incredibly dirty. On my way to see Rome in the morning.

you milling around AFSOUTH? do they still have the brit cafe?

When I go to England I want a Scottish Nationalist to be my tour guide. I'm sure it'll be worth a few laughs.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by sailor jack

you milling around AFSOUTH? do they still have the brit cafe?

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Me? AFSOUTH? No comprende the lingo compadre.

JFC Naples i mean, used to be called afsouth