Women troubles

I'm 24 years old, young, and excited about the world. I live in Washington state, but I'm in Kentucky visiting family and friends. I think I'm a great guy with a great personality and awesome body. I have great complexion, wonderful hair, I workout everyday (even if it is just for 30 minutes that day) and have a ripped body and ass a you can bounce a penny off of.

Well, I was hoping to reconnect with some girls I went to high school with, but I haven't spent the time to actually call them up. I've been spending most of my time at the local strip club. I'm really horny and willing to spend a lot of money to get my dick wet. I figure, why go with high school sweethearts when I have the opportunity to hook up with some 18 year old stripper with nice perky tits and a tight ass? Or the older stripper that I kept giving the eyes because she looked fucking amazing in the Budweiser swimsuit? Or any of the black strippers that pick up a dollar off my shirtless chest with their pussy? This shit is crazy. My dick is bulging so hard I swear its going to break the seams of my jeans.

Maybe you can tell I've never been to a strip club. Anyways, I'm flustered because I'm trying to figure out how I can score with a stripper. I paid $10 bucks for a private lap dance with this little sexy petite stripper Kitten and she wasn't really giving me any information. I offered to pay her $50 bucks just so she could find me some information or maybe hook me up with a girl that was willing to do a little more.

I even paid a stripper $200 to take me to the back room and I was under the implication that she was going to fuck me. But oh no, I just get blown but not even a full one she stops before I'm gonna blow and it dies down. WTF Bitch. The she had the nerve to try and dig more money out of me.

I had blue balls so bad last night I jacked off so hard it shot up and hit the ceiling of my room. What the hell does it take to fuck a stripper? Do I offer them some coke or meth or something? If anyone can help me out I'd be thankful and willing to take your advice to the club. If It works, I'll film it and give you a copy of the video. That is if you want it.

Voted +

great thread would read again

UH? GEE Thanks!

Mystery says you got to not pay attention to them then they'll come for you. He also wears a big furry purple top hat.

Guys strippers are srsly hard to bone. They won't fuck anyone.

(buy them cocaine)

If the anonymous account were renamed gwahir LIKE I SAID TO this would be botb

mpr seems like the star ps poster

You know, if that is an accurate description of yourself, you should be able to get laid with out having to pay for it. You should save your $200 dollars and go to a bar, go up to the hottest girls you see, and start talking to them. You don't even have to necessarily be that great looking as I've seen some pretty beat up dudes leaving with very attractive girls.

And hell, if you are really desperate, then try to score some not so great looking ones for practice. Call it training wheels.

Regardless, paying for sex is fucking lame. Use all that money you would blow at a lame ass strip club and buy a nice new shirt and some jeans that show off your "ass you can bounce a penny off of."

Everybody pays for sex. It's just usually called dinner and a movie AM I RIGHT GUYS? I'm here all week try the fish tip yr waitress

You know, if that is an accurate description of yourself, you should be able to get laid with out having to pay for it. You should save your $200 dollars and go to a bar, go up to the hottest girls you see, and start talking to them. You don't even have to necessarily be that great looking as I've seen some pretty beat up dudes leaving with very attractive girls.

And hell, if you are really desperate, then try to score some not so great looking ones for practice. Call it training wheels.

Regardless, paying for sex is fucking lame. Use all that money you would blow at a lame ass strip club and buy a nice new shirt and some jeans that show off your "ass you can bounce a nermy off of."

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Originally Posted by simonj

Everybody pays for sex. It's just usually called dinner and a movie AM I RIGHT GUYS? I'm here all week try the fish tip yr waitress

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Well I did mention that you would have to buy cloths and/or drink and maybe buy her drinks to get her drunk enough to think you are good looking, but apparently you can bounce a penny off of your ass so you should be all good with that then.

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Originally Posted by Meatball

Well I did mention that you would have to buy cloths and/or drink and maybe buy her drinks to get her drunk enough to think you are good looking, but apparently you can bounce a penny off of your ass so you should be all good with that then.

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yeah just get some cloths and some chloroform and you should be good to go

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Originally Posted by Think

yeah just get some cloths and some chloroform and you should be good to go

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New pickup line:

"Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?"

You gotta put in the time and the dime to get to the gine.

Make her think she's yo favorite ho, getter smilin', make her need ya, then fuck it and chuck it.

Dat's how a pimp flow.

Well if by new you mean rly rly old then yeh

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Originally Posted by Meatball

You know, if that is an accurate description of yourself, you should be able to get laid with out having to pay for it. You should save your $200 dollars and go to a bar, go up to the hottest girls you see, and start talking to them. You don't even have to necessarily be that great looking as I've seen some pretty beat up dudes leaving with very attractive girls.

And hell, if you are really desperate, then try to score some not so great looking ones for practice. Call it training wheels.

Regardless, paying for sex is fucking lame. Use all that money you would blow at a lame ass strip club and buy a nice new shirt and some jeans that show off your "ass you can bounce a penny off of."

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Nobody gets laid without having to pay something. I'm not talking about picking up bar wenches or hitting up old classmates. I'm talking about picking up a grade A fine ass stripper that defies the laws of physics by being a perpetual motion machine on that slicked up stripper pole. This thread is not about desperation. This thread is about ME on the hunt for something more exotic. I want a girl who can slam down on that hard elevated platform doing the perfect splits and who can grind on my dick like no regular girl ever could.

And if you would never ever pay for sex then you are a pussy.

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Originally Posted by simonj

Everybody pays for sex. It's just usually called dinner and a movie AM I RIGHT GUYS? I'm here all week try the fish tip yr waitress

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True true.

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Originally Posted by Meatball

Well I did mention that you would have to buy cloths and/or drink and maybe buy her drinks to get her drunk enough to think you are good looking, but apparently you can bounce a penny off of your ass so you should be all good with that then.

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What is your beef with me? I'm looking for sage advice on how to pick up a stripper without turning into a mark. You are on some other tangent.

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Originally Posted by Mr. E

You gotta put in the time and the dime to get to the gine.

Make her think she's yo favorite ho, getter smilin', make her need ya, then fuck it and chuck it.

Dat's how a pimp flow.

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My fuckin' hero right here. Thats the stuff that makes pimps and angels.

Yeah or buy her cocaine.

becuse if there's one thing strippers aren't renowned for it's coke habbits

be a pimp

or at least own/run a modelling agency

stop being poor and give her more money until she jumps you

everyone has a price

for instance I could probably get simonj to let me violate his bumbum for 100 million british pounds

of course at some point it becomes cheaper to buy a $2000 round trip ticket to amsterdam and just get a 100 euro lay

You could have me for a lot cheaper than that spongey boy

well this is turning out to be quite a night

How am I a pussy because I wont pay for sex? You're a pussy. You're the one asking a bunch of people on the internet how to get laid. I gave you solid advice amigo. More importantly, you don't have to pay anything to get smoking hot girls to dig you except maybe invest some time. There are plenty of girls walking around every city in the world that know how to give it real good and don't have to work a pole to prove it.

Also, I don't understand how I'm a pussy, but you're the one who is not smart enough to pay a stripper enough money to bounce a penny off of your ass. Sounds pretty lame to me, bro.

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Originally Posted by Atmoscheer

If the anonymous account were renamed gwahir LIKE I SAID TO this would be botb

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waaaaaiiiiiiiiiiit a second

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Originally Posted by simonj

Yeah or buy her cocaine.

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This, meth, or ecstasy and lots of weed and booze. However, I don't run in the same circles that I use to and I'm not buying off some random junkie. I've been out of this area for so long it be a little difficult to score without having to go through old friends.

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Originally Posted by coqauvin

be a pimp

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Yeah.

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Originally Posted by sponge

stop being poor and give her more money until she jumps you

everyone has a price

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That is a big problem. I can dish out tons of money but I don't want to be a mark where she figures she can take me to the bank just for crazy fucking. I'm trying to do the minimal amount possible to get me some of the most raunchiest sex any man has ever had.

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Originally Posted by Meatball

How am I a pussy because I wont pay for sex? You're a pussy. You're the one asking a bunch of people on the internet how to get laid. I gave you solid advice amigo. More importantly, you don't have to pay anything to get smoking hot girls to dig you except maybe invest some time. There are plenty of girls walking around every city in the world that know how to give it real good and don't have to work a pole to prove it.

Also, I don't understand how I'm a pussy, but you're the one who is not smart enough to pay a stripper enough money to bounce a penny off of your ass. Sounds pretty lame to me, bro.

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When did I ask anyone on how to get laid? I'm trying to pick up a stripper and get some wild fucking on. I don't know why you keep raging about that nor why that has anything to do with regular women.

And you are a dumb pussy because you think that all you have to do is just pay a lot of money. You're just going to end up broke and a known mark. You have no idea how heartless and soulless a stripper is because they don't dance for the fun of it they want to take your money with the least amount of effort. They'll do that to you because you seem like the guy who pays for everything on a date. Hell, if you went into a joint some bitch with fat titties would rub her breast around your cock and you would give her your wallet.

Why on earth would you think a stripper would give you the raunchiest sex you'll ever have? They might want you to believe that but it doesn't mean it's true. If you want raunchy sex then fuck a chubby girl. Preferable black. Or catholic.

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Originally Posted by simonj

If you want raunchy sex then fuck a chubby girl.

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and face lifelong ridicule

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Preferable black.

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oh god

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Or catholic.

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this is actually excellent advice

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Originally Posted by simonj

Or catholic.

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thread won

What about a 200lb black Catholic?

If you have money to spend why don't you just get a quality escort, less chance of STDs and you don't have to dance around the subject of snookie.

Itt Anonymous grows a pair, gets laid by a stripper, has crazy hot streamy passionately dirty erotic sex, and applies a topical cream to his small genitalia for the rest of his life.

Here's a thought... Tell girls in a bar how you want to fuck them and save yourself the money.

Unless you're too much of an overgrown school girl to get your demands satisfied, which it sounds like you are.

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Originally Posted by Anonymous

that hard elevated platform

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i would have gone with hard elevated titanium rod here

elevated platform just makes me think your dick has a flat wafer-thin piece plateauing on top of the tip

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Originally Posted by Atmoscheer

Here's a thought... Tell girls in a bar how you want to fuck them and save yourself the money.

Unless you're too much of an overgrown school girl to get your demands satisfied, which it sounds like you are.

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Originally Posted by Meatball

Itt mpr grows a pair, gets laid by a stripper, has crazy hot streamy passionately dirty erotic sex, and applies a topical cream to his small genitalia for the rest of his life.

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ftfy

i feel like people are scared of ps because of some of the responses given

but all the questions are just remarkably stupid

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Originally Posted by sponge

i feel like people are scared of ps because of some of the responses given

but all the questions are just remarkably stupid

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That and the OP was the first to come out and attack me and call me a pussy. Flaming on....

You don't have to get with a 10, 2 5's or even 2 3's and a 4.

Stick it in her butt when she's not looking!

Obviously!

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Originally Posted by simonj

You could have me for a lot cheaper than that spongey boy

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Originally Posted by sponge

well this is turning out to be quite a night

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also i lol'd quite hard at this exchange