Weird Shit Happens When I shit.

I don't know about you guys but every time I take a shit my eyes water as if I'm crying. This has been happening ever since I can remember. Now, at times I have taken shits were I needed to cry because of the pain it was causing on my anus but I cry either way.

I just don't understand. Any one else have any weird shitting habits? Example: Crying like a baby during bowel movements.

That's odd.

My shits are usually pretty straightforward.

Yeah don't know if its like a disease or something.

I like to have a fan blowing on me while I'm pooping.

Sometimes I shit footlong logs that curl themselves in the toilet.

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Originally Posted by Pepsi

Sometimes I shit footlong logs that curl themselves in the toilet.

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I've often wondered how a giant log that's a foot long and three inches in diameter can fit through my sphincter unscathed.

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Originally Posted by djwolford

I've often wondered how a giant log that's a foot long and three inches in diameter can fit through my sphincter unscathed.

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Your anus is rather stretchy.

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Originally Posted by Pepsi

Sometimes I shit footlong logs that curl themselves in the toilet.

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Yeah I had a shit like that curled right up like the way ice cream looks when you put it on the cone. It was magical.

I ususally go in, poop, wipe, wash hands, and continue on with my merry day!

I hope you pull your pants down first.

When no ones home, I take a dump with the door open.

I remember making a thread with the same same words on LWS once.

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Originally Posted by Oats

I hope you pull your pants down first.

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Well of course silly :blush:

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Originally Posted by mkdisciple

When no ones home, I take a dump with the door open.

I remember making a thread with the same same words on LWS once.

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I always poop with the door open. That's why living by yourself if great.

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Originally Posted by djwolford

I always poop with the door open. That's why living by yourself if great.

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Yes... I have almost forgotten there IS a door on my bathroom.

I hate the word "poop". It's the crappest (pun intended) word ever.

Anyway I take ages when I shit. I read a magazine and I end up taking like 5 or 10 minutes to shit, then stay on the toilet for another hour just reading. That means I forget to wipe while its moist, and I end up with a crusty shit-infested anus, which means I have to shower.


So really you could say that including reading, shower and drying time, my shits take me up to an hour and a half.

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Originally Posted by Mang

I hate the word "poop". It's the crappest (pun intended) word ever.

Anyway I take ages when I shit. I read a magazine and I end up taking like 5 or 10 minutes to shit, then stay on the toilet for another hour just reading. That means I forget to wipe while its moist, and I end up with a crusty shit-infested anus, which means I have to shower.


So really you could say that including reading, shower and drying time, my shits take me up to an hour and a half.

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Pure Win right here


Voting + for making me laugh out loud in a library


I also engage in the longer shits because I typically am chillin out looking at my phone (even know theres never anything new to look at), read labels, count floor tiles, sing a song in my head. Yeah I like just sitting there

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Originally Posted by Mang

I hate the word "poop". It's the crappest (pun intended) word ever.

Anyway I take ages when I shit. I read a magazine and I end up taking like 5 or 10 minutes to shit, then stay on the toilet for another hour just reading. That means I forget to wipe while its moist, and I end up with a crusty shit-infested anus, which means I have to shower.


So really you could say that including reading, shower and drying time, my shits take me up to an hour and a half.

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lol
I do the same, forgetting wise. Except not to the point of letting it go crusty. Sicko.


I have to take off my t shirt and anything else I'm wearing on my top half out of fear of catching during wiping.

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Originally Posted by ShitFace

lol
I do the same, forgetting wise. Except not to the point of letting it go crusty. Sicko.


I have to take off my t shirt and anything else I'm wearing on my top half out of fear of catching during wiping.

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Yeah I do the same thing, I always think when I'm wiping It will catch the bottom of my shirt and I might just no know it until it's too late and half the world already saw it.

My bowels are weird. It's like sometimes I can't just shit and be done with it. I go in, shit, think I'm done, get up, and 5 minutes later I have to shit again. It doesn't help to sit there and make sure I'm done. I could sit for an hour, get up, and have to shit again in 5 minutes. Embarassing as fuck when it happens on a road trip, at someone else's house, out in public, etc.

There's also no way I can wipe back to front, once I got shit on my ballsack after a particularly messy one and it was about the most disgusting thing ever.

Cryptic your bowel movements make me tingle.

LOL finally I did something you approve of.

Cute.

Okay, I know what people are going to fucking say, but no that's not it since I've never had it back there. This stuff or stuff like it has also been happening to me since I've been a kid.

Anyways, occasionally things happen when I do number 2. For example, I've sometimes felt something that felt like a little bit of inflammation in my nose accompanied by a brief sneezing fit. Other times, after periods of constipation, I see spots in front of my eyes briefly.

I've never had the easiest time with my gastrointestinal system, especially its... end... and that's one reason why I don't like hot weather; it makes it harder to tolerate it.

This thread is so fucking gross.

Why do boys like to talk about pooping? Gross.

Gross.

Boys are gross

Gross.

Well at least we don't have cooties like girls do.

cooties > poo obsession

If girls had glorious poop sessions like guys do they would be obsessed as well.

You mad because girls aren't as good at pooping?

I CAN'T TAKE ANY MORE OF THE POOP TALK I AM SO OUTTA HERE

can i poop on you sole?

German scheister movie soon to be itt.

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Originally Posted by sycld

Okay, I know what people are going to fucking say, but no that's not it since I've never had it back there. This stuff or stuff like it has also been happening to me since I've been a kid.

Anyways, occasionally things happen when I do number 2. For example, I've sometimes felt something that felt like a little bit of inflammation in my nose accompanied by a brief sneezing fit. Other times, after periods of constipation, I see spots in front of my eyes briefly.

I've never had the easiest time with my gastrointestinal system, especially its... end... and that's one reason why I don't like hot weather; it makes it harder to tolerate it.

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Well the spots are the increase in blood pressure from straining to go when you're bound up.

And wtf? You're either a top, not gay, or a gay guy that doesn't fuck. Which is it?

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Originally Posted by Cryptic

And wtf? You're either a top, not gay, or a gay guy that doesn't fuck. Which is it?

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I've often felt like sycld isn't really gay. I don't know why.

Yeah me too. I dunno, maybe he just tries to hard always talking about how he's gay. And somebody, I don't remember who, said once that he admitted on IRC that he wasn't gay IRL. Doesn't matter though, it's still funny as hell.

I hope I find someone who loves me enough to poop on me.

Your day will one day.

Most people seem to spend forever in the toilet, taking in reading material etc, when I shit it takes under a minute everytime.
I don't have explosive diarrhea or practice goatse, I just shit fast.

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Originally Posted by Lewis

Most people seem to spend forever in the toilet, taking in reading material etc, when I shit it takes under a minute everytime.
I don't have explosive diarrhea or practice goatse, I just shit fast.

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As do I. I get in, get the job done and get out. Taking a glorious shit doesn't mean you should stay in there and bask in it.

I do shit pretty quick but I guess I just know I have to like wipe and wash my hands when I'm done so I just sit there because I'm lazy.

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Originally Posted by Cryptic

Well the spots are the increase in blood pressure from straining to go when you're bound up.

And wtf? You're either a top, not gay, or a gay guy that doesn't fuck. Which is it?

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Yeah, I know the spots' origin.

And I'm a gay guy that doesn't fuck.

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Originally Posted by djwolford

I've often felt like sycld isn't really gay. I don't know why.

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Originally Posted by Cryptic

Yeah me too. I dunno, maybe he just tries to hard always talking about how he's gay. And somebody, I don't remember who, said once that he admitted on IRC that he wasn't gay IRL. Doesn't matter though, it's still funny as hell.

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Wtf? I am totally gay :( How is a gay guy suppose to feel? I do my best to act in so gay in a way that people hate me for it, and all I get in return are false accusations that I'm a straight :'(

Also, I've never been on CD's IRC...

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Originally Posted by sycld

Yeah, I know the spots' origin.

And I'm a gay guy that doesn't fuck.

Wtf? I am totally gay :( How is a gay guy suppose to feel? I do my best to act in so gay in a way that people hate me for it, and all I get in return are false accusations that I'm a straight :'(

Also, I've never been on CD's IRC...

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I've never personally understood gay men who don't fuck (or receive the fucking). That's kind of a like a straight guy that will only go to 3rd base.

Yeah you just can't win can you - I bet if you claimed to be straight people would call you a faggot anyway. I've never been in there either, I hate IRC, I just remember somebody posting once that you said you weren't gay.

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Originally Posted by Cryptic

I've never personally understood gay men who don't fuck (or receive the fucking). That's kind of a like a straight guy that will only go to 3rd base.

Yeah you just can't win can you - I bet if you claimed to be straight people would call you a faggot anyway. I've never been in there either, I hate IRC, I just remember somebody posting once that you said you weren't gay.

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Faggot.

Tidus I've also often seen you as a homosexual who is struggling with his sexual identity. The kind of guy that puts up pad locks and dead bolts on the closet door to keep himself from coming out.

No offense.

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Originally Posted by djwolford

Tidus I've also often seen you as a homosexual who is struggling with his sexual identity. The kind of guy that puts up pad locks and dead bolts on the closet door to keep himself from coming out.

No offense.

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Then so be it.

Internet people's perception of me doesn't really hurt me.

Also, my closet is wide open so others can get in.

Oh nice. Maybe I should go back in the closet and join you then good sir.

You know it baby.

Weird Piss Happens When I Piss

like what paulty

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Originally Posted by paulyt

Weird Piss Happens When I Piss

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if it's white and creamy, and you only pee it out when your penis is long and hard, then it isn't piss.

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Originally Posted by sycld

if it's white and creamy, and you only pee it out when your penis is long and hard, then it isn't piss.

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Oh? What is it then?

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Originally Posted by paulyt

Oh? What is it then?

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a sin that cries out from the earth to God for vengence

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Originally Posted by sycld

a sin that cries out from the earth to God for vengence

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Because you touch yourself in the shower.