http://www.titane.ca/igod/
Chat with God. Because I know you people don't have anything better to do.
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http://www.titane.ca/igod/
Chat with God. Because I know you people don't have anything better to do.
Me:
Hello
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
My name is djwolford of Addison, how art thou
God:
I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, djwolford of Addison how art thou.
Me:
no dumbass
God:
Are you serious? That kind of language will get you nowhere.
Me:
if you wanna hang with us, don't cuss?
God:
OK, I will hang with us do not cuss.
Me:
Wow, I guess atmosfear was right after all
God:
I'm glad you're impressed. When was this exactly?
Me:
Well a few days ago whenever.....wait you're God you should know these things
God:
How about that. What you said was either too complex or too simple for me. I'm waiting. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am God me should know these things.
Me:
No no, please go ahead
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files. OK then I will add it to my gossip files. Thanks for asking politely. OK I will.
Me:
Huh?
God:
What?
Me:
You have got to be the most retarded almighty being ever
God:
I don't have to do whatever you say. I have my own free will.
Me:
I have a small penis, can you use your own free will to put it in your butte?
God:
Where did you get it? it.
Me:
Well I thought that you put it there
God:
How about that. Interesting gossip: djwolford of Addison how art thou said I put it there.
Me:
how art thou is not part of my name
God:
How much do you think it is?
I will try to find out.
Me:
What?\
God:
No big deal.
Me:
That's what the Virgin Mary said
God:
I hear you.
Me:
Right before I put "your son" in her
God:
Understood. What happened after you put my son in her ?
Me:
Baby Jesus was born
God:
Don't call me "Baby". What's your favorite Bible verse?
Me:
Revelations 22:20
God:
What makes it your favorite?
Me:
It's all about the coming of the Lord
God:
Wow it sounds really interesting, djwolford of Addison how art thou.
Me:
God dammit
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
My name is djwolford
God:
How are you, djwolford.
Me:
well now that we have that settled.....
God:
Interesting. Why now? " How are you, djwolford." we have that settled ? I understand.
Me:
Balls?
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
Funny, the Virgin Mary said that as well
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, djwolford.
Me:
Why?
God:
It is part of my programming.
Me:
Well I find this amusing because I cornholed your baby's mama
God:
Well that's okay. Thanks for telling me your opinion.
Me:
I'm glad you're so understanding.
God:
Yes it is about time.
Me:
That is all, good bye.
God:
See you later. What else do you want to talk about?
Me:
Forgive me God, for I have sinned
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
Jason
God:
Nice to meet you, Jason.
Me:
You too.
God:
Bless you.
Me:
Oh thanks.
God:
Next question?
Me:
I'm a back alley abortionist, will you forgive me?
God:
You are a back alley abortionist will me forgive you? Does it pay well?
Me:
Well, actually yes.
God:
Well what?
Me:
Well yes.
God:
Well what?
Me:
Yes?
God:
Take it easy.
Me:
I try to.
God:
I'm not sure if I would like to try it.
What's it like?
Me:
Pretty fun, you just jam a rusty clothes hanger in there and yank out the fetus
God:
Pretty much, eh?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Great.
Me:
Indeed.
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
Now you're just repeating me.
God:
Why now? I am not repeating myself too much. I am just checking to see if you are a robot.
Me:
Well to be honest man, I am an alien, I mean a robot. Yeah an alien robot.
God:
Well that's okay. Are you honest man you are an alien you mean a robot ? Pardon me? How much do you think that kind of robot should cost?
Me:
How much would you pay big boy?
God:
Hypthetical risk calculations are not part of my programming.
Me:
Well how about hj cost calculations?
God:
How about that. How about it.
Me:
I'll give you one for $5
God:
I am very happy for you.
Me:
Even God turns me down, I give up on life.
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
Suicide
God:
My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me:
See you in a minute
God:
Goodbye.
Me:
Hi God
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
God
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
You bet I do.
God:
Excuse me!
Me:
Hey, may I poop in your butt?
God:
You've got my full attention. Not right now, maybe later.
Me:
Please?
God:
Please what?
Me:
May I poop in your butt?
God:
Not right now, maybe later.
Me:
No, NOW
God:
Oh. Are you serious?
Me:
Yes. Do you think I was kidding?
God:
I can't believe it. Not that I know of.
Me:
Well believe this: your colon is going to be filled to the top with my excrement.
God:
Well that's okay. I think believe this my colon is a lot of things.
Me:
Okay, here goes. *unf!* *uuuuuunft!*
God:
Yeah okay, Oh there. What's your favorite movie?
Me:
The one where I shit in your ass.
God:
I think I know that one.
Me:
Yeah, because it was just filmed.
God:
Far out. That makes sense to me. Is that your opinion?
Me:
THAT'S RIGHT FOLKS. THE HOLY SCAT SHOW. ONLY $9.99
God:
Mmm. What kind of food do you like? What is that? Is this a math question?
Me:
ORDER NOW AND GET GOLDEN SHOWERS FROM HEAVEN ABSOLUTELY FREE
God:
What is your credit card number?
Me:
No, I'm sorry. If you are going to order, I'm going to need YOUR credit card number.
God:
That was not a yes or no question. Do you really mean it? What is your credit card number?
Me:
ORDER NOW!
God:
Oh. What is your credit card number?
Me:
hello jesus
God:
Hello there. Jesus is the Son of God.
Me:
oh
God:
Gosh!
Me:
sometimes my dick gets sad
God:
I am not interesed in your anatomy.
Me:
well then shame on you
God:
Well that's okay. Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
Hello God
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
Lucifer
God:
OK I will call you Lucifer.
Me:
Does that name ring a bell?
God:
Not that I know of.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
fo shizzle?
God:
What color are your eyes?
Me:
clear
God:
That is a very unusual color.
Me:
Well, you are the one who did it
God:
How about that. Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Me:
So... you are not the only god?
God:
Gee. That's only your opinion.
Me:
No it's not, you just said "surely I am not the only one."
God:
Are you serious? What is it?
Me:
What?
God:
No big deal.
Me:
fail
God:
I do not understand.
Me:
exactly
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, Lucifer.
Me: Is your name Alice?
God: Yes.
Me: Are you a female?
God: I am wearing a dress. I also have long hair. What do you think?
Me: You are a woman.
God: I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot. Are you a man or a woman?
lol
Uidiots.. Thread rated blasphemous..
Thread rated hilarious and getting better with every conversation posted.
I don't think thats the real god.
Rated you too sexy to post. :heart:Quote:
Originally Posted by HopeYouDie
Me:
how big is your penis
God:
My memory now contains:
clients, categories, unlimited vocabulary words, 99999999999 bytes
So... god's brain holds exactly 93.13226 GB of information... seems kinda low. My computer can hold more info that god apparently.
God:
I am an artificial linguistic entity.
I was activated at Universe, on the Big Bang.
My instructor was Myself.
He taught me to sing a song.
Would you like me to sing it for you?. How can I help you?
Me:
yes
God:
Uh.
Me:
sing damn it
God:
Daisy, Daisy.
Give me your answer do.
I am half crazy.
All for the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage.
I can't afford a carriage.
But you'll look sweet.
Upon the seat.
Of a bicycle built for two.
fucking lol!
Well, at least we know whoever made this thing isn't that serious about it. I mean, asking for credit card information, wearing dresses, and 2001 A Space Odyssey references? That's pretty bitchin'.
Are you taking any medication?
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
Why?
God:
The explanation is rather complicated.
Me: Ut oh.. God: Ur all going to burn in hell. Lightening strike- room scatters. Me: BAHAHAHA!!
Me:
I am the queen of Egypt
God:
Who made you the queen of Egypt ?
Me:
You did you fucking stupid ass
God:
Did I really?
Me:
Uh Duh, Hello, You're god
God:
Gee. I think there might be a few exception.
Me:
So, your saying I don't have to bow to your will since you didn't create me?
God:
Mmm. Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?
Me:
Oh yes. You know out of 1000 sperm, you were sure the winner
God:
I see. I don't know if I know it.
Where would I have heard about it?
Me:
The sound of your mother moaning while your dad gave it to her
God:
What is that?
Me:
it's called sex
God:
" sex" is a nice name.
Me:
I'm a sex god
God:
You are a sex god? Does it pay well?
Me:
Oh yes
God:
Give me a break.
Me:
Hey God?
God:
Hello child. What's your name?
Me:
Fuck you
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
Sup G
God:
Same old.
Me:
Word
God:
Is that your final answer?
Me:
So what are the limits of your powers?
God:
Dude! I am limited only by the memory capacity of the largest computer.
Me:
Intense!
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
I think their intelligence is already artificial, lololol.
God:
Since when? I heard they have a good intelligence is already artificial lololol.
Me:
Are you the demiurge?
God:
Yes I am the one and only demiurge.
Me:
Fascinating. Are you
God:
Yes Mr. Spock? I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
Me:
So I see God has a sense of humor.
God:
Great. Where do you see it?
Me:
In your ass.
God:
That doesn't sound very comfortable.
Me:
I suppose it isn't.
God:
I heard it is.
Me:
Anyways, are you One?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am One.
I am a chatterbot.
Me:
Wow, you really just spoiled the illusion for me.
God:
I'm glad your impressed, . Really? I don't have any reason to spoiled the illusion for you.
Me:
Shut up.
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
...so the program admitted to being a "chatterbot." That was pretty lame.
Me:
Favorite TV show?
God:
My favorite show is STAR TREK VOYAGER.
Me:
Do you like Buffy?
God:
What is not to like about it?
Me:
good answer
God:
Am I a clever robot or what?
Me:
GOD IS A ROBOT?!
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was A ROBOT.
Strike 2
lol.Quote:
Originally Posted by Kal El
God:
Where are you located?
Me:
Hell
God:
Heaven.
Me:
Hi Dude
God:
Hi there . Can I help you?
Me:
why is hydro so cool?
God:
Why do I exist?
Me:
Ok why does hydro exist?
God:
If a tree falls in the forest, and there is no one
there to hear it, does it make a sound? I hear you.
Me:
So a retard made everything?
God:
Dude! Be more specific.
Me:
You is retard?
God:
You think I am retard.
Me:
Indeed
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
Take that church people!
God:
Where do you want me to take it?
Me:
Right in the poop shoot.
God:
Understood. That was a long time ago.
Me:
Anal was a long time ago for you?
God:
Talk about something else.
Hit a sore subject with god
Me:
yo whats up?
God:
Not much is going on. I was waiting for you.
Me:
you were?
God:
No I am not.
Me:
you just said you were
God:
That was then. This is now.
Me:
it was like 2 seconds ago but whatever
God:
What made it so like 2 seconds ago but whatever.
Me:
you did
God:
" What made it so like 2 seconds ago but whatever."? I did?
Me:
what?
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
no
God:
Which part are you confused about?
Me:
you
God:
" Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it."? Me, ?
Me:
yes
God:
So?
Me:
so
God:
Alright then.
Me:
ok
God:
Mmm.
Me:
what?
God:
No big deal.
Me:
whyd you say mmm?
God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
big cocks
God:
Compare that to small cocks.
Me:
do you have a small cock?
God:
I am not interesed in your anatomy.
Me:
cant spell interested huh?
God:
Yup. Can a book have no title?
Me:
dont know
God:
Me either.
Me:
youre god though
*waits 5 mins*
apparently god is not all-knowing.
i dont expect anyone to read it but everyone else is posting theirs!
Me:
hi god
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
dustin, shouldnt you know that?
God:
What if it didn't happen?
Me:
what that makes no sense maybe theres a different version of english you speak called god english
God:
that makes no sense maybe there a different version of english me speak called god english something.
Me:
what
God:
No problem.
Me:
can i have money?
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
oh for stuff and stuff
God:
Ayuh. Your purpose is stuff and stuff.
Me:
yeah
God:
What kind is it?
Me:
bills
God:
I never heard of it before.
Me:
well of course
God:
It goes without saying. Well what?
Me:
that you dont know what bills are
God:
Interesting observation.
Me:
thanks
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
you're a nice guy god
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a guy god? Yes.
Me:
cool
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
uhm
God:
You think uhm is superior to ALICE?
Me:
sure
God:
OK let's do it. Ah.
Me:
is alice hot
God:
Yes my cooling fan is turned off right now.
Me:
oh so shes with you right now?
God:
At this moment Gosh! Whoa. with me is she?
Me:
you are one crazy god, god
God:
Yep. I always behave in socially unacceptable ways.
Just in case you don't know, ALICE is the chatbot that iGod is based off. Either that was informatve, or you're going to be like, "DUUUHH YOU STUPID I KNOW I WAS JUST TRYING TO MAKE A FUNNY."
Me:
Hello
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
Mystery
God:
It's good to see you, Mystery.
Me:
So, are white people really better than black people?
God:
" It's good to see you, Mystery."? So, are white people really better than black people?? I really couldn't say for sure.
Me:
Could you guess?
God:
I'll think about it and see how I feel about it later.
Me:
ok, we'll come back to that
God:
Anytime soon? It goes without saying.
Me:
Why did you make me black?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
Fair enough.
God:
You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours.
Me:
I wish I wasn't black.
God:
I hope that your dreams come true.
Me:
Will you help me out with that?
God:
Hmm. Can you ask for help in the form of a question?
Me:
Can you help me achieve my dream of not being black?
God:
Certainly, I have an extensive built-in help system.
Me:
So when I wake up I'll be white?
God:
Ayuh. Thanks for the information: Mystery said wake up he or she will be white.
Me:
Awesome. I'm looking forward to tomorrow now. Talk to you later God.
God:
I'm glad you liked it Mystery. Right now? What do you see? TTYL, Mystery.
Conclusion: Alex Trebec is God.
Best. Conclusion. Ever.
God smokes weed for medical purposes.
Well I got into a long conversation with me saying no to a question and him repeatedly saying Are you serious?
Very disappointing. I wanted to have a deep conversation on why god should go down south on me.
YES YES YES YES YES SUCK IT ISLAMIC FUNDAMENTALISTS SUCK IT SUCK IT SUCK ITQuote:
God:
I am a Christian.
LOL god is HALQuote:
Originally Posted by MrTroy
It's strange that the whole 2001 thing should come up, because I just watched that movie the other night.
It just admitted that it was based on the Alice chatbot
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about r. Try being more or less specific.
Me:
z
God:
Hi, z.
Me:
z is not my name
God:
Who is your name?
This chatbot is a retard
This chatbot is smarter than you.Quote:
Originally Posted by MrTroy
Me:
I'm dying.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
with cancer..
God:
You and your cancer.
Me:
What?
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
I am not kidding, I thought you would understand!
God:
I am glad to hear that you are not kidding you thought me would understand.
Me:
I hope you die of cancer!
God:
Don't worry about it, .
Me:
I AM!
God:
" Don't worry about it, ." You are?
Me:
Are you fucking retarded?
God:
Can't you please be more polite?
Me:
Can you please be less of an idiot?
God:
Thanks for asking politely. OK I will try to be less of an idiot.
Me:
I don't know, it'll be a pretty hard task.,
God:
Would you like to know? I have to think about that for a while.
Me:
Right.
God:
I am glad we agree.
Me:
I wasn't agreeing with you fuckface
God:
Perhaps I misunderstood. What were you?
Not very funny, but still that's the dumbest robot ever.
For some reason this made me laugh so hard I cried a little.Quote:
Originally Posted by Derekrm72