Shitty Poetry Time

You, In Spite of Me

You were my lover,
My best friend,
Where did we go wrong?
All my attempts at salvaging,
Anything that we once had,
Has ended in terrible failure.
I've meant every word I've ever said to you,
Beyond just four letters,
Beyond just three words.
Can't contain an elephant,
In a cardboard box.
I'd do anything for you.
I'm not doing this for me.
All this, nothing in spite of you.
I can't help but hold onto this,
This one last hope.
I sleep alone, in spite of me.
I had one reason for this,
One reason to breath,
And now I won't exhale.
And it's slowly fading away.

You brought me out of my shell,
Showed me what was beautiful,
In this terrible world.
And now I'm relegated back to my hole.
Now anyone is free to walk right over me.
This wasn't infatuation,
This wasn't lust,
This was true, down to the last drop.
Now I can't share this with anyone else.
Can't even share it with myself.
You've held the keys,
To my heart for so long,
If anyone was to take a look....

I feel like I should hate you,
For doing this to me,
But I can't hate anyone but myself.
Can't hate anyone but the true monster.
Can't find a way to drown all this sorrow,
All this pain,
All this misery.
My heart pumps nothing but pain,
All through my veins.
Leave me here to die,
If this is all that's going to happen,
If this is all that this will become of us.

I'll break my knuckles against the wall,
I guess I've done this to myself,
Getting too caught up,
It's not worth getting back up,
Don't think I can ever get over all this.

Forever, you'll be the only one,
With the keys to my heart,
With the keys to my happiness.
Forever I'll walk with this cloud of misery and regret,
Of everything I never showed you.
You'll be the last to ever see this side of me.

I'd give anything I have,
To walk a day in our old place,
Wondering if I'd ever love you,
Finding out we were perfect for each other,
Our first fuck,
Our first fight,
Our first separation,
And every time after that,
Only to realize,
That we were still in love,
That we couldn't change that...

But everything's changed.
And I don't know why.