My girl wants to have a MMF threesome; not sure how I feel about this

My girlfriend and I have been together for roughly six months now, and she's started dropping hints about having a threesome with another guy. Maybe i'm being a bit homophobic or something, but i'm honestly not too sure how I feel about it.

My girl has admittedly more, I guess... um, sexual prowess (?), than do I; I've never had a threesome before, man or woman -- hell, i've never done anything that involves anyone besides my then- girlfriend or lover. She keeps telling me "it'll be fun! Come on! Its just a fun game in the bedroom!" and "all my EX-BOYFRIENDS did it and they had fun, what's the problem?" Well bully for your ex boyfriends then.

What's my problem with it? I don't know, exactly. I mean, i've watched porno of tag teams or even gangbangs -- I mean sure, it can be hot. But not when it's my girlfriend getting boned. It makes me almost angry to think about some other dude porking my girl -- in any other situation that shit's liable to get your ass kicked.

So why not a compromise? Why don't we try to have a threesome with a girl first and then have a threesome with a guy? "well, why do YOU get to have all the fun?" I dont know, maybe because it bothers me that there's going to be another penis in/around you that isn't my penis? you wanna be explorative in the bedroom? Let's try anal. Why does it have to involve some other dude's dick?

She says i'm being a prude but i'm having a hard time acting okay with this. I want to make her happy, but she says "its for both of us, it'll be fun!" but i'm pretty in love with this chick and the idea of some other dude railing her almost makes me sick.

I don't know. I need some advice.

If she says "it's for the both of us, it will be fun" but she won't let you have two girls first as a compromise, she wants it for her because she is selfish and trust me on this one, go ahead and sever all ties because if you don't do it she will just cheat on you behind your back with two different dudes. She obviously doesn't seem to have much respect for you if she is pressuring you into doing something you don't want to.

That being said, if a break up is inevitable anyway you might as well tag team her, that situation is a lot more appealing if you can envision it as spit roasting your (soon to be) ex-girlfriend instead of sharing your girlfriend. You only live once, right?

I completely agree with Rick Scarf. The fact that she said "well, why do YOU get to have all the fun?" when you suggested trying a FFM threesome first should be a red flag. Somehow a FFM threesome won't be fun for her but a MMF threesome will be fun for you? Sounds like bullshit to me. I'm sure if you looked deeply into your relationship with her, you'll realize this wasn't the first time she's been seriously selfish.

wow sex nazis take it easy.

Some people get their kinks from different ways, but sex isn't a currency game. You don't buy an MMF threesome with an FFM threesome. Sex is something dynamic, namely doing what you enjoy. If you are curious about it, you can open yourself up to the idea of having an MMF threesome, but if it's something you would never be comfortable with, you need to communicate that to her ASAP. She needs to respect your boundaries in bed the same way you respect hers. If either of you are not cool with something going on in your bed, it should not happen. If her fucking two guys at the same time is more important to her than your relationship, then I hate to say it, but you'll probably end up breaking it off. Let her know, honestly and simply, that you are not at all turned on at the thought of fucking her with another dude at the same time and that you won't do it. At the same time, remind her that you wouldn't pressure her to do something she doesn't want to do (FFM threesome? anal? fisting? brazilian fart play?) so it isn't fair for her to do the same to you.

As a caveat: a few people are perfectly fine with bargaining, and if the idea of doing something you intensely dislike in bed to get something you really, really want in bed is ok with you, it is, of course, your choice. The thought of trying to have sex in a way that makes me angry or turns me off just doesn't compute to me, though, so I generally advise against it.

Nope. This bitch is crazy. Cut off all ties before she cuts off your dick.

I don't think I'd ever be okay with an MMF threesome. Is there a particular guy she wants to bring in? or she just keeps suggesting that she wants it MMF. I would totally be down for FFM, I think the girl would enjoy it too, though, I'd rather just do it with her lol. At least with 2 females she could do things with the female, and it would seem alright. But two guys... what are you gonna do with the guy... other than glare with jealousy.

If I was put in this situation, I would probably just leave. I mean she already wants to bang another dude anyways..

The blatant double standard in this thread is awesome.

Now granted, some of the posters here probably wouldn't think a FFM three-way would be "appropriate" for a committed relationship, in which case it's not at all hypocritical that they would think asking for a three-way is some sort of red flag. However, I wouldn't be surprised at all that some of them think that FFM three-way is something for both members of the couple to enjoy, whereas a MMF three-way requires some sort of compensation.


Anyway, to the OP: you might just not want a three-way, regardless of how your aversion to the idea came about. Yeah, a sexual relationship sometimes requires a little give and take, but a three-way goes beyond simple compromises, especially considering that you probably didn't go into the relationship expecting her to ever ask this of you. If you did, then you should've been more prepared for this and had this discussion with her from the start of the relationship. In general, however, there's no reason why anyone should HAVE to be open to introducing a third into their committed relationship.

Ok, so yes, though it's not really so relevant in this case, there's probably a culturally-imposed attitude on you that if a dick was to go into your territory (you girlfriend's snatch), that somehow emasculates you. And there's no equivalent for when the genders are reversed. But again, that doesn't matter; for better or for worse, our sexual attitudes are shaped by traditional institutions and expectations, even if sometimes they might be archaic or nonsensical. I know mine sexual attitudes are, even in ways I wish they weren't.

But again, all of the above doesn't really matter (unless it matters to you personally, for whatever reason). You don't have to be open to a three-way, and you don't have to be okay with it. Just realize that it might cost you the relationship if this is a dealbreaker for her.

With all of that said, I'll add this: if you had any idea that she had three-ways with her previous boyfriends, you should have discussed your aversion to them very early on. But if she never told you that she has and wants three-ways in her relationships until she started demanding them, then it's completely on her for being irresponsible in not telling you about this.

If I were in a relationship, and the threeway talk came up, and she would only do one and not both, then it'd be a straight no to the first. Why should she get all the fun with a MMF threesome, and not allow me the joy of a FFM? Seems kind of unfair in the bedroom.

Then, if I suspected her of cheating, it'd be over. But if you two are not in an open relationship in the first place, and you're not trying to bring home more guys/girls into the equation, you should probably go ahead and break it off.