Can't Initiate a Relationship

So, all throughout highschool, I get really close to girls. Say the right things, hang out with them. Made out with a few chicks and so on. But at some point I just lose them. I just cut off the relationship because I don't want/know how to initiate a boyfriend girlfriend type thing.

I'd like a girlfriend. There are a few girls that I could pursue. I just don't know how to initiate the relationship. Girls will like me, and I'll like them. But we won't date.

Am I scared of relationships?
Help a brother out PS.

No, you're scared of rejection and/or confrontation.

I know because I have the same problem so can't really offer any solutions.

I used to have a problem where I was afraid that despite how I felt about someone, they wouldn't feel the same way back.

And I still have this problem. It's just something you have to move past, or get over.

As far as how a relationship is developed basically constitutes of hanging out, progressing sexually, spending more time with each other, etc. There isn't a formal way to put that title upon you two, you both should sort of know where you guys are headed, and communication is important if you want to know where the relationship stands.

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Originally Posted by Absolution

As far as how a relationship is developed basically constitutes of hanging out, progressing sexually, spending more time with each other, etc. There isn't a formal way to put that title upon you two, you both should sort of know where you guys are headed, and communication is important if you want to know where the relationship stands.

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No, you get extremely drunk, wake up next to them and awkwardly stay together for 2 years before you move to a different city and change your name. That's how a relationship starts.

It seems to me like you're probably not doing enough to make your interest clear. Girls like to be pursued. I mean, to a point - don't be stalkerish, obsessive and creepy - but they like to know they're liked and desired. If you just "see where things go" they'll go nowhere because most girls want a guy who takes the initiative, at least at first.

If a you and a girl like each other it'll be up to you at first to move things forward. Not totally fair, but that's how it is. Ask her out. Make a move - kiss her, put an arm around her, whatever she'll be cool with to let her know that you're into her. I mean don't try to get her in bed right away since it's a relationship you want, just show her how you feel about her. Compliment her. Call her. That sort of thing. Relationships only go anywhere if the people in the relationship actively work to progress things.

The reason your budding relationships are fizzling is because your communications, verbal and probably non-verbal too, say you've lost interest. Only you know if that's really the case - it sounds like it's not - but if that's true you have to make it clear you're interested until/if she tells you that she's not.

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Originally Posted by Cryptic

It seems to me like you're probably not doing enough to make your interest clear. Girls like to be pursued. I mean, to a point - don't be stalkerish, obsessive and creepy - but they like to know they're liked and desired. If you just "see where things go" they'll go nowhere because most girls want a guy who takes the initiative, at least at first.

If a you and a girl like each other it'll be up to you at first to move things forward. Not totally fair, but that's how it is. Ask her out. Make a move - kiss her, put an arm around her, whatever she'll be cool with to let her know that you're into her. I mean don't try to get her in bed right away since it's a relationship you want, just show her how you feel about her. Compliment her. Call her. That sort of thing. Relationships only go anywhere if the people in the relationship actively work to progress things.

The reason your budding relationships are fizzling is because your communications, verbal and probably non-verbal too, say you've lost interest. Only you know if that's really the case - it sounds like it's not - but if that's true you have to make it clear you're interested until/if she tells you that she's not.

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Wow probably the best advice so far. Thanks man. That makes a lot fo sense.