Try to salvage the friendship?

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11-03-2008, 02:54 AM
Anonymous

Try to salvage the friendship?

For several years now I have known a very nice girl named Anna. Now I would have liked to have become more then just friends with Anna, something she has known for a very long time as well, but we never went that far and had a comfortable friendship. Now I met another really good girl and we started going out for a few months. Now that I am in a serious relationship, out of nowhere Anna starts saying how she wants me and all of this crap and we actually did make out, but it didn't go farther then a kiss.

Anna demanded that I should break up with my girlfriend because we were meant to be together. I got angry (and felt terribly guilt for kissing her) saying that I had wanted to go out with her for YEARS but she never gave me the time of day but now that I have a girl, she is all over me. She got mad and ratted out our kiss to my girlfriend, who, took it in stride and stayed with me. She is amazing, really. However, after that moment, me and Anna ceased being friends it seems and haven't spoken in months. Now the friendship is practically dead now, but I am still feeling bad and somewhat guilty for acting the way I did. Now I am wondering if I should try and break this silence with Anna or just let things run it's course and let our friendship bite the dust.

Should I just leave well enough alone? My girlfriend says she understands the situation and wouldn't mind me being back on speaking terms with Anna and stills (for god knows why) trusts me around her.
11-03-2008, 03:10 AM
dudeman

I would approach the situation carefully. If you two start speaking again, make sure this Anna is over you. Your girlfriend sounds great; getting things complicated again is not a good idea.
11-03-2008, 04:26 AM
HopeYouDie

Sounds like you got a great girl! Let Anna go because you do not need to lose your girl by leading yourself into temptation. Besides Anna knows where to find you.
11-03-2008, 08:16 AM
gwahir

to be honest, anna sounds a little like a bitch. is it worth salvaging?
11-03-2008, 09:51 AM
Atmosfear

Well, Gwahir, if you believe that males and females can have completely platonic relationships, then it could be.

Of course, I don't, and this story is perfect proof. You weren't friends, you were a backburner and when that option disappeared, she tried to force you back into it. No sense in even dealing with her... assuming she even has your best interests in mind (she doesn't), she has nothing she can provide you that you couldn't find somewhere else (except, I suppose, sexual tension.)
11-03-2008, 11:07 AM
Tekk

Quote:

Originally Posted by Atmosfear

Well, Gwahir, if you believe that males and females can have completely platonic relationships, then it could be.

Of course, I don't, and this story is perfect proof. You weren't friends, you were a backburner and when that option disappeared, she tried to force you back into it. No sense in even dealing with her... assuming she even has your best interests in mind (she doesn't), she has nothing she can provide you that you couldn't find somewhere else (except, I suppose, sexual tension.)

100% agree.

Seriously man, its a common trick. Girls hate seeing guys with other girls, jealousy is the fastest way to get with them.

It doesn't sound like you really need anna back at all, so I wouldn't bother. Instead take the time and do something special for your current girl, who is actually worth it.
11-03-2008, 07:29 PM
gwahir

Quote:

Originally Posted by Atmosfear

Well, Gwahir, if you believe that males and females can have completely platonic relationships, then it could be.

i have several? anyway the rest i generally agree with. but to cover all the bases -- even if you disagree with atmosfear, and you think you could have a platonic relationship, is it worth having a platonic relationship with someone you know is like she is?
11-06-2008, 11:42 AM
MalReynolds

Just for clarification, you would never sleep with any of your lady friends? And you're certain they would never want to sleep with you? Latent urges like that tend to come up once the option is removed from the field.
11-09-2008, 03:22 PM
ArmedMonkey

Quote:

Originally Posted by gwahir

to be honest, anna sounds a little like a bitch. is it worth salvaging?

QFT. There are some women who never progress past this pedantic stage of wanting what they cannot have. She needs to learn her lesson the hard way. You're obviously a nice, caring guy, so it's her loss. It is possible in time she'll figure it out, but it's also possible that any movement towards friendship she would see as a step towards manipulating you to be with her, which is something you don't want [shouldn't] do.
11-09-2008, 08:23 PM
Absolution

Quote:

Originally Posted by MalReynolds

Just for clarification, you would never sleep with any of your lady friends? And you're certain they would never want to sleep with you? Latent urges like that tend to come up once the option is removed from the field.

Well, they could be ugly.
11-10-2008, 02:06 PM
MalReynolds

Of course, but then they would want to sleep with him. It's very rare to find someone who doesn't have any kind of sexual urges when it comes to female friends in the least. Even with ugly friends, your thoughts can turn to degrading them. Mine don't, as I do not keep ugly friends.