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But, I am a little hesitant on it....
I have never been with a black guy before. I mean he is a really sweet guy, he is funny, cute, honest, good personality, I am just a little shy because of how society would look at it. I know they are already going to look at us differently, I mean being a gay couple and all, but an interracial gay couple, how does that look?
So should I go for it, or no?
Where do you live?
Edit: actually that's irrelevant. If society doesn't like you then fuck society. The only way society's going to get used to it is if it happens.
Second edit: In fact, since it would better society to be used to this kind of thing, you have a duty to society to go for this guy.
Yes, if you like him then you should not give two shits what Joe the Public thinks. You both have a right to be happy, just go for it.
You're already gay, who cares about the (near nonexistent) social stigma of an interracial couple?
I live in the last REEEAAAALLLLLYYYY white state, and we don't have problems with interracial couples. I thought that had died out.
The homosexual community is often even more intolerant of interracial couples than the heterosexual community is. If you don't mind that, then go for.
Honestly, I don't think you should worry about it that much and not care as much what others think. I mean, as others have said, you're already gay, and you have to deal with the social stigma of that; being an interracial couple can't be much worse.
Why's that? It seems sort of...backwards. I would think the 'homosexual community' would be more open to diversified views.Quote:
Originally Posted by sycld
Just go for it. Opinions are like cornholes....
whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa
You people should probably shut your mouths about things you clearly know nothing about. I was nearly killed for being in an interracial couple. I was severely psychologically damaged by the threats I received for being in an interracial couple. Even when I left the south and was in another interracial relationship in the midwest I was still looked down upon and mistreated for being in an interracial relationship (especially by the girl's family).
You people think that this stigma doesn't exist, but that's because you've never been there. Anyone can say anything when it isn't affecting them, but if it entered your world for real you would see the facade society has created crumble.
I just wanted to nip this idealistic notion that this didn't exist in the bud. As for advice, be prepared to deal with a lot of flack. Depending on where you live things could actually get pretty bad, but don't let that fact stop you from doing something that you would want to do. Only by more people having interracial relationships can we actually get to the point where the stigma is rare. If this thread has taught me anything it is that people don't even realize this is a problem, but only through progress and fuller immersion can we turn their idealism into more of a reality.
In the end, though, follow your heart, not your brain dude.
Yea... I have to agree with Mr. E, there are still a LOT of racist people out there. People around here still stare and talk whenever they see an interracial couple.
Sorry to burst your bubble.
Go for it man, it will be good for you if you actually like him.
Agreed. Much like it doesn't make sense that the Black community which was discriminated against has a bigger problem with homosexuality than the white community, in general.Quote:
Originally Posted by Icarus
Hate breeds hate.
Try it out and see what happens. One date doesn't mean you will get married or even in a long term relationship.
Families tend to be more judgmental and psychotic when it is their daughter dating someone out of their race. If anything, I think you would face more prejudice from society for being two men rather than a white and black guy.
Racism still exists but it depends where you live. You should be ok but just be careful.
Damn dude where was this?! I am going out with a half black, half Puerto Rican girl and everyone seems really cool about it. Though I am betting when it's a black guy it's an entirely different situation. But damn, I had just shocked this kind of thing still happens!Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. E
I think it's naive to ignore the social pressure of this choice when weighing the costs and benefits. You need to consider how much the scorn of society will burden you personally, because some people can handle it and others simply can't. If you seek maximum approval of your peers, then this may not be a wise decision.
The logic of "you're already gay, you might as well be interracially gay" is so flawed it's not even funny. First of all, I think it's safe to say everyone of that ilk will agree that homosexuality is not a choice. Given that assumption, he has no recourse, so he is forced to deal with the burdens society places on gays. He has absolute choice in whether or not to pursue a relationship. Just because they face similar disdain from society at large doesn't mean they are equivalent acts.
It seems to me that often times, when a group is marginalized by society, they feel that it gives them license to actively harbor bigoted attitudes against other groups. Take, for instance, how much less tolerant African Americans are of gays by and large compared to white people.Quote:
Originally Posted by Icarus
People are so ignorant. You're biracial yourself, but you dating a white person makes for an "interracial couple," but you dating a black person doesn't? Such nonsense.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. E
Finally, I think the following video about homosexuality in the black community will prove to be most enlightening: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fbGkxcY7YFU
Surely when Mr. E masturbates it's an interracial relationship?Quote:
Originally Posted by sycld
Ok I'm gonna be devil's advocate here BUT first of all I want to say I'm not at all racist. I really could give a flying fuck who anybody wants to date. But I also know that some people are racist and just hate-filled individuals in general who DO care and care bigtime.
While you have the right to date whoever you want, whatever sex they are or whatever race they are, if race is going to be an issue is it really worth it? You might put yourself and/or him in danger if you do end up together, and do you really want to be in a relationship that's making you feel unsafe or embarassed? True you SHOULD be able to date whoever you want without those fears but life unfortunately doesn't work that way.
And please don't say "Well this could be his soul mate, who are you to say not to date him based on race"? There is more than one right person for everyone. If you pass on this one, you will meet someone else who might also be perfect for you.
Only you can judge how much race, homophobia, or both figure into things where you live, and I'm not saying don't date him because of race, but also don't put your safety, mental health, and sense of wellbeing at risk to date this guy either. No it's most certainly NOT fair that it might have to be like that, but you have to look at the big picture.
Silly Nadia fags can't get married.Quote:
Originally Posted by Nadia
In other news yeah theres still tons of racism and it comes from both sides, but seriously I don't see anyone gunning people down over just that. I live in a pretty white area of the south and I see interracial couples all the time (although they are usually men and women)
This made me LOL.Quote:
Originally Posted by simonj
Seriously dude if thats what you want then i'm not gonna be the internet dude to try and stop you. I have seen interracial lesbian couples before even show affection (long kiss) in public in the south, so I say you should be ok.
You'd be right, except you're failing to take into account popular perception. To most people I'm just a black guy. While technically if I were to date a black girl (which I would never do) it would be an interracial relationship, nobody who saw us on the street would think anything of it. Quit being a douche.Quote:
Originally Posted by sycld
Oh so they're right in their attitude because they think you're just another ******?Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. E
Quit being a self-hating prick.
I didn't say they were right, I just said that that's what they do, which you just pretty much agreed with. What they do is really all that matters in context, not whether it is right or not. And I hate it when people call me self-hating. I don't hate myself, I'm awesome. Go to hell.Quote:
Originally Posted by sycld
Shut up both of you right now.
I think you're wrong. I've lived most of my life in communities with a black population of decent size, and the "true" black people often see people of mixed race as not black enough, while they don't fit in with white people because they're black. So, black people see you as white while white people see you as black. People WOULD bat an eye if you dated a black chick since she'd be dating outside her race, even if you are part black yourself. You're alternately self hating and self righteous. It's an interesting mix.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. E
I think Mr.E would know better on how HE is viewed in the black and white communities than anyone else.
So my black friends telling me about occasions when what I mentioned has happened to them isn't reliable information? Because yeah my friends are really gonna lie to me about these kinds of issues in their lives and I don't know what I'm seeing when a black friend gets jumped by the guys he was hanging out with just for dating a girl that's half white. I mean it might be different elsewhere but where I've lived that's the way it is. Being mixed race and fitting in just don't go hand in hand.
Are you seriously going to try to tell me that you can't fit in if you are mixed?Quote:
Originally Posted by Cryptic
Lol.
I wouldn't go so far as to say "can't" but it's much, much more difficult, especially if you live in a place where various ethnic groups have a lot of pride. Where I live, black culture is very strong, so anyone who isn't deemed "fully" black is an outcast. If you're mixed race you're not fully black. If you're dating someone who isn't black you're an outcast because you're looked upon as disloyal. Same with the Hispanic population. And there are enough white assholes who accept someone who isn't completely white either.
There's a lot of things I can't do with my black friends because I wouldn't be accepted, or they'd be put at risk for associating with me. Sucks, but that's just the way it is. I mean white people aren't usually victims or racism but when you can't go certain places with your friends because you're white it really hits home. My friends aren't gangbangers either, just college kids like me (I met a lot of them through track as a matter of fact) and it's not like there's full on race wars going on, but still I'm not like them and they're not like me and yeah, it matters. It shouldn't but it does.
Nadia I know you're not trying to be closed minded and maybe things are different where you are but honestly it's not like that everywhere.
I am not trying to be anything.
I am mixed and have never felt anything negative because of it. I pretty much can pass either way for both of my backgrounds and maybe because I am a girl, I just don't get treated like that.
Everyone has different experiences.
I had a mixed race friend in high school. It really pissed me off when people would say "Oh, you're not black, you're mixed race". Because yeah, that's how racists work isn't it?
I don't think lynchers in the deep south were like "Oh, you're mixed race? Well then we won't hang you, we'll just give an indian burn and a wedgie and then let's go get a beer yeah?"