Having a hard time coming out >.<

So I have been wanting to come out to my father for a while and the rest of my family. I told my Mom and she wasn't surprised at all, said that she had known for a while. Well I am just really nervous because my Dad is a homophobe, and me being obviously gay that is going to be bad. I want to tell him, but at the same time I don't want it to lead to complete exile. I plan to get my car and my car insurance in my name LONG before I tell him just in case that he isn't accepting at all, so he can't pull my car from underneath me.

Any suggestions on how to break the news?

Maybe take him out to a day spa and tell him while he is relaxing during the pedicure.

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Originally Posted by Maliathone

So I have been wanting to come out to my father for a while and the rest of my family. I told my Mom and she wasn't surprised at all, said that she had known for a while.

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This may just be me thinking, but if it was obvious to your mom, it's probably obvious to your dad as well. The homophobic behavior is probably his way of telling you that he knows, but does not approve. As far as how to tell him, I have no idea what to tell you. It's hard to judge how someone will react to how you tell them without knowing them.

If you're not comfortable coming out to him just yet, then don't do it. Of course I'm not always the best adviser.

I agree with the fact that you don't have to tell him. I mean, straight people don't have to come out, do they? So why do you? It's your sexual orientation, you make the choices regarding it.

I'm bi, and I'm out to my friends but not my family. I'm not trying to hide it, I don't really care if they find out (although my mom would probably have something to say about it, or not, depending on if she decided to continue speaking to me that is) it's just not something I feel they have to know right now.

If I ever got into a serious relationship with another man, I suppose I'd have to say something because he can't just be my "best friend" forever, that wouldn't be fair to him. But so far that hasn't happened.

Bottom line is you decide who to tell and when. I also agree with the fact that it's hard to say how someone will take it. Even if he is homophobic, he may accept it in time because you're his son. A friend of mine, when he came out as transgendered to his parents, had them both completely FREAK until they understood it and processed it a little. Now his mom takes him to his endocrinologist appoitments.