This isn't normal for a young guy, is it?

To the point: I have no libido anymore. Nothing really changed, just one day it was gone.

I was with my ex girlfriend at the time when it happened and our relationship wasn't good anymore. We were having sex one day, she was on top, and I just felt like I didn't want her touching me anymore. After she left, I figured it was just because our relationship was basically over. I've never been one of those guys that can just have sex with anybody, there has to be something there and I figured I didn't want her anymore because I truthfully didn't even like her that much by that point.

So I broke up with her about a week after that day.

Then I realized my sex drive was pretty much gone for good. I'm in my late teens, aren't I supposed to be like crazy horny? I seriuosly used to have a healthy sex drive. I'd jerk off every other day or so (sometimes more, sometimes less depending), used to be into trying new things with my girlfriend, all that kind of stuff.

The way things are now, I barely even masturbate. I honestly can't remember the last time I did. I think it's been over a week now. When I do it, it's not because I'm actually horny, it's more of a physical thing like taking a dump - I just need to get rid of semen. I mean of course it feels good, but after that I never really have an urge to do it again until the next time I "need" to.

Nothing is wrong with me mentally or physically that I know about. I'm not depressed and please nobody post "It's cuz yer GAY lolz". I'm honestly not really sexually attracted to either sex anymore. There are some girls I think are hot, but I don't fantasize about them like I would have before, and if they asked me to have sex I know I wouldn't. I mean I suppose I could have something wrong I don't know about but if that were true, why would my sex drive just leave overnight? Nothing sexually traumatic has EVER happened to me, I wasn't abused, my parents are cool about things like that, nothing awful even happened with my ex, we just weren't right for each other.

I suppose it's good in a way, like how many guys are gagging for sex that can't get any? I don't know if I could or couldn't, I pretty much don't even try. I'm not interested. At all. I do see it as a problem, because I didn't plan on spending the rest of my life alone, and no girl is going to want to be with a totally sexless guy. Also my lack of sexual feelings is stopping me from pursuing relationships - why chase girls when you don't want sex?

Has this ever happened to anyone else? What should I do? BTW I already did ask my doctor about it and he said "you're probably just stressed" because I did just move for college and yeah I am a little stressed but not THAT much if you know what I mean. And this happened to me in while I was still in high school so I really know that's not it.

It's because you're gay, lulz.

Seriously though, it could be a number of things. Some information that could really help get the question answered correctly-

1. Have you had your testosterone levels checked?
2. Are you stressed?
3. Are you sleeping enough?
4. Do you use any drugs(legal or illegal) or consume alcohol regularly?
5. Are you diabetic?
6. Do you suffer from depression?

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Originally Posted by djwolford

It's because you're gay, lulz.

Seriously though, it could be a number of things. Some information that could really help get the question answered correctly-

1. Have you had your testosterone levels checked?
2. Are you stressed?
3. Are you sleeping enough?
4. Do you use any drugs(legal or illegal) or consume alcohol regularly?
5. Are you diabetic?
6. Do you suffer from depression?

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OP

1. No, but I want to. At least it's a place to start. I asked my doc about it and he was the one that said I was fine, just stressed about college.

2. A little like I said, but honestly who isn't? I mean I don't stay up all night freaking out and obsessing and there's nothing I'm really super worried about. I'd say I have no more or less stress than normal.

3. Yeah, I get 7 or 8 a night, more when I have time to be a lazy ass.

4. No and no. I used to, in moderation - some painkillers here and there and going out drinking on the weekends but I cut all that out to see if it would help. It didn't.

5. Nope.

6. Nope, not depressed. Pretty content with life, for the most part.

Hmm, well I'm not sure what else it would be then.

Try having your test. levels checked, if that's not the cause then I don't know what to tell you.

Do you take any medicaments like propecia or something like that?
I heard these can cause stuff like this.

If not, it's most likely some psychologic issue.
It could very well be that you project your failed relationship on other girls and possible future relationships. Perhaps even subconsciously.
And as you said you can't really have sex without feeling something for her that might be a problem.
Take some time and think about it, try to feel, and name your feelings. Maybe you can spot something.
But then again, I'm no expert. It's just a guess. KITTYCAT.

I don't have the problem with not wanting to masturbate, but I do have the same idea of not wanting to have sex with every girl I meet. I would rather get to know them and hang out with them than fuck them right when I see them.

I'm still in love with my ex which kinda makes me not want to pursue anything from anyone else but that's the problem I have, as you say you don't have any feelings for your ex that kinda rules that one out.

My only questions are how long has this been going on for and what else led to you not wanting relationships from every girl ?

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Originally Posted by k1nk0s

I don't have the problem with not wanting to masturbate, but I do have the same idea of not wanting to have sex with every girl I meet. I would rather get to know them and hang out with them than fuck them right when I see them.

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HOLY SHIT THIS IS A BIG PROBLEM GET YOUR TESTOSTERONE LEVELS CHECKED NOW BEFORE YOU BECOME A GIIIRRRRLLLL

Honestly, I don't think it's a big deal. You might not have been into the sex partly because it sounds like your relationship was about to fall apart, and maybe partly because you are dealing with other things in your life right now.

I mean, you're still jerking off on a regular basis, whether or not it's as... "passionate"?... as it used to be.

Most likely, your lack of libido is due to issues that will have or have more acute effects on other aspects of your life and will pass when either these issues pass by themselves or you get through them. I honestly wouldn't worry about it too much, and if you miss your libido I'd try to be a little patient. It's only been about a week, after all...

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Originally Posted by k1nk0s

My only questions are how long has this been going on for and what else led to you not wanting relationships from every girl ?

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About 6 months, we broke up in June after being together for 2 years. I have feelings *about* her, but not for her. I don't see it as being bitter about girls in general, I mean it was my first serious relationship so of course I let her get away with a ton of shit that I shouldn't have, but I know it now so it won't happen again. And I know all girls aren't like that.

There was just a girl I was seeing not too long ago and she was awesome, we were hanging out pretty much every day for a couple months, I guess she was my girlfriend even though I never asked her, it just kind of happened. We did stuff like hold hands, cuddle, made out a little bit, and the affection was nice but still I just didn't want to have sex with her. I had to kinda sorta lie to her and tell her I didn't like her in that way even though I had really strong feelings for her because I just don't want to have sex or do anything past what we did. And it has nothing to do with her, it's completely me.

And I never wanted relationships with EVERY girl and it's not that I don't want one now. I mean I don't plan on jumping into bed after the first date, but it's totally normal to expect things to get physical in time and I just don't want to. I'm pretty sure it's nothing emotional, I just don't enjoy it anymore.

Still, unless your previous girlfriend physically emasculated you with a sharp object or with all her bitching (as girls are wont to do), I wouldn't worry about it having a physical origin that requires medical intervention.

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Originally Posted by sycld

Still, unless your previous girlfriend physically emasculated you with a sharp object or with all her bitching (as girls are wont to do), I wouldn't worry about it having a physical origin that requires medical intervention.

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Well shit that's not good news. At least if it had a physical origin maybe I could at least treat it then. :(

Well I lost my libido to, but it was as a result from my head injury from my bus/car accident. I lost it for a month, but it came back stronger than ever. Even before the accident I would have phases where I just wasn't interested in sex. It's normal, and it will come back eventually. Just think of it as a break to be able to do more normal things. I am pretty sure that when I go through phases of just wanting to have sex I waste a lot of time, and when I have no sex drive, I get more done.

It's just one of those things where you have to decide if having a booty call every night or every few days is your thing, or just trying to experience other things in life outside of sex is your thing. It could be win/win either way, it's just up to you.

start working out.
i don't mean running and jogging and swimming, i mean lifting weights like you were schwartzenegger 30 years ago.
get some tesosterone building into your body, your sex drive will come crashing back.

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Originally Posted by Sion

start working out.
i don't mean running and jogging and swimming, i mean lifting weights like you were schwartzenegger 30 years ago.
get some tesosterone building into your body, your sex drive will come crashing back.

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This. Well maybe not like Arnold 30 years ago because he was on the sauce really hard at the time.

Yeah, it sounds like you may have some emotional scaring from her that either you or your emotions are trying to not admit. Give it some time. You're gonna feel weird for a week or so, but eventually you will get it back. No one knows your sexual drive better than yourself. Take some quiet time to watch the videos or think about the things that get you off. You are in your late teens, so you have nothing but TIME to heal over the whole situation. Go out and have fun with people, the only way to meet new people is to hang out with the old ones.

Protip: If someone you met forever ago appears back in your life. Don't be afraid to get out of your comfort zone. Usually when people are reoccurring characters they are at least of SLIGHT importance :D

Good luck with getting your manhood back.

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Originally Posted by djwolford

This. Well maybe not like Arnold 30 years ago because he was on the sauce really hard at the time.

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oddly enough, for me it had the opposite effect... when I had been in shape, i masturbated less, not more.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by sycld

oddly enough, for me it had the opposite effect... when I had been in shape, i masturbated less, not more.

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Hmm, interesting. Maybe you were working out too much?