How did you beat it?

I want to ask, or to see first if anyone here has ever had full blown clinical depression, and if so, did you manage to beat it/get on top of it?

I am currently clinically depressed, teetering on the edge and cannot see how I can get better. I'd really like to hear about other peoples experiences, what channels they went through to get help, what help they got, how well it worked and if they managed to beat it, or at least keep it under control so they can have a normal life.

I hope that hearing other peoples experiences might offer me some comfort and strength.

My dad and brother have gone through clinical depression. Both saw an iatrist or an ologist or a therapist or something, and I think both tried medications. The key is professional help -- I can confidently say that neither would've gotten past it without professional medical help.

Every so often I wonder if what I have is clinical depression (the symptoms fit, basically) but I dismiss such notions. I manage. Who diagnosed you?

I went through a severe depression where I VERY seriously (too seriously) considered suicide at one point. I probably should have gotten help, but I just want you to know that I understand.

What helped me was partly my life circumstances changed - I got away from some people that were doing me a lot of harm. And also I started working out. I started running and lifting and while that wasn't a magic cure, doing something for myself made me feel worthwhile again, and seeing my body get better gave me self confidence back. If you're very depressed it will be hard to find the motivation to start, but if you can do a little something you'll eventually like how it makes you look and feel and will probably want to do more.

There is no sure fire cure, no easy fix, no quick answer. It all has to do with strength of mind and the people around you.If you associate with good friends and keep yourself social (or have friends who will keep you social) then eventually you will naturally break out of it. Other things that help in conjunction with that is a consistent daily schedule, enough sleep (but not too much), proper nutrition, and exercise. Exercise is one of the big things that helped me.

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Originally Posted by Mr. E

There is no sure fire cure, no easy fix, no quick answer. It all has to do with strength of mind and the people around you.If you associate with good friends and keep yourself social (or have friends who will keep you social) then eventually you will naturally break out of it. Other things that help in conjunction with that is a consistent daily schedule, enough sleep (but not too much), proper nutrition, and exercise. Exercise is one of the big things that helped me.

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He's right.

I was diagnosed earlier this year. They attempted to give me medications for it...but I wouldn't take them. Out of sheer willpower and through my friends, I go over it.

There's another reason I believe it stopped, but I'm not going to say it so I don't offend you.

I believe the key to "fixing" depression is the right combination of medication and therapy. For medication see a psychologist instead of a general practitioner. Also visit different therapists until you find someone you trust and can connect to.

Sometimes you need to hit rock bottom before getting better. I attempted suicide and was put into rehab before I got better. Now I don't recommend attempting suicide but there's a saying that "it's darkest before the sun rises".

Just dropping in to add -- exercise is VERY helpful, and willpower is essential. But if we're talking chemical depression, that's not something you can fight with willpower alone, any more than one can cure oneself of the flu just by wishing it away. The reason I ask who diagnosed you is because it's important to look at whether we are indeed talking about chemical depression or another kind -- not to diminish the seriousness of what you're facing, but rather to illuminate and fully realise it.

Know what you're up against, is what I'm trying to say.

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Originally Posted by gwahir

Know what you're up against, is what I'm trying to say.

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That reminds me. Research different types of mental illnesses. Disorders such as bipolar I and II can often be misdiagnosed as depression and this can delay recovery.

I saw a psychologist 2 times/week when I first realized I was depressed and needed help. Earlier this year I went through some things in my personal life that made me consider suicide. I even went as far as trying to slit my wrist and bleed to death, lucky enough the only knife I had around with that was a dull pocket knife that barely made a scratch. The next day I went to a psychologist, and started the 2 times/week therapy.

It took a lot of hardwork, but within a few months I was going every other week, and in May I started going once a month. After my accident, I haven't been back. I realize I am lucky to be alive.

The best thing you can do is stop thinking about the past and the future, I know it is hard, but once you just "live in the moment" and do something that makes you happy, that doesn't include destructive behavior (drinking is even a no no). Just enjoy being yourself and blackout the negativity causing you to be depressed. Once you are happy with yourself, you'll feel the depression starting to slip away.

I've come a long way. From being a depressive pill popping suicidal maniac, to where I am now, it's been a long road, that had a lot of bumps on the way. You can overcome it. The key is to not let it get to you. Right now, thanks to the holiday, I have become slightly depressed. It's something I go through every year, but thanks to my head injuries my emotions are all over the chart, so I am on medication for a few months. It's helping. If you feel you need to, try an anti-depressant. It may take up to 6 weeks to feel the full effect, but it's kept me from wanting to sit in the corner and cry.

I plan to ween myself off of it in late January.

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Originally Posted by gwahir

Just dropping in to add -- exercise is VERY helpful, and willpower is essential. But if we're talking chemical depression, that's not something you can fight with willpower alone, any more than one can cure oneself of the flu just by wishing it away. The reason I ask who diagnosed you is because it's important to look at whether we are indeed talking about chemical depression or another kind -- not to diminish the seriousness of what you're facing, but rather to illuminate and fully realise it.

Know what you're up against, is what I'm trying to say.

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This is good advice. My depression was caused by outside circumstances: things that happened in my life, the actions of others and my reactions to them, etc. If you truly have clinical depression, other methods can help but you'll probably need medication, at least for a little while, to get a leg up on it.

OP here.

My GP diagnosed me. I had an appointment yesterday, but missed it. See my life is ruled by fear and paranoia, there are only a few frames of time where I feel I can leave the house, my appointment fell outside that, so am arranging one more suitable. I had hoped I would be ok but when it came to it, I panicked.

I don't have friends, surrounding me with them wouldn't help much either, I am a recluse, I rarely leave the house, in the past 5-6 years I only ever left to go to uni, the odd trip to the shop that I can no longer make and to go to the barbers. An old pal tried to arrange a night out with me, but I took a big panic attack that night and had to dodge it. I have nightmares where the very fact that I am out is the nightmare.

I had been considering suicide, I had stopped taking my anti depressants, so I could stock them up and kill myself after the new year but I have talked myself out of it. Id like to see a shrink to better understand what is wrong with me, but that will take a while. It is ok typing about it but talking about it is tough, I shake like mad and choke, I feel so ashamed.

I used to excercise, but I don't now. See, I cannot bring myself to suicide, even though I have came close, but I can still do it indirectly via self neglect, smoking too much, not excercising, not eating and only eating crap. PRoblem is alcohol. I used to drink, and did for some time. Problem was I started drinking to excess and getting so drunk I'd pass out and fall apart, and my mum caught me, that is how she found out and since I live with her, drinking is a no no. If I was living on my own, I'd be long dead.

Thinking about the future doesn't help me, mines is a bleak one. I am a really paranoid emotional cripple. Just leaving the house is a really big deal for me, and I can only do it during certain windows of time.
The only way I can get better is to change who I am. That aint easy. And it is annoying because all of this is down to my personal weakness, I am pathetic to be broken by life so easily, and it makes me bitter. I fantasise alot about killing people, they get intense, sometimes I sweat, my heart starts pumping and I shake. I doubt I will get rid of the depression and social anxiety, but I'd like to get rid of the hate.

I am a nice guy, who helps strangers, but in the past I started to lose it with people, strangers in the street, start roaring abuse at them for no good reason, snapping at the slightest thing, part of me worries that if I continue to have a presence amongst others, this might go beyond snapping. I really do spend alot of time thinking about killing/hurting others, the thoughts get to instense my legs go to jelly, if I could get rid of that then I'd be more at ease.

1. GP. Okay.

2. Of course just telling you this is one thing, actually having it help you is another, but shame is not an emotion you should be feeling. What you're going through is not your fault. It's not your doing or your weakness or your emotional stupidity. It's chemicals in your head. There's nothing pathetic about you or anything even LIKE that. Good on you for talking yourself out of suicide. The fact that you are able to do that shows great strength -- keep that.

3. Smoking too much, eating crap food and avoiding exercise won't kill you, at least for another few decades. What those things will do, however, is contribute like CRAZY to your depression. Exercise has been demonstrated to be extremely effective in combating chemical depression, as is good dietary habits. Smoking and drinking are terribly bad, so limit them. If going outside and interacting with other people is a challenge that for now is too great for you, focus on what you can do in your own house and your own body. Use some of that strength we talked about earlier. You can do it.

4. One's vision of the future depends a lot on present circumstances. You can't possibly know the potential of your future. Just focus on what you can do now.

5. Your thoughts of hurting others is not something you should be listening to people like me about. I would have no idea how to approach that. So don't listen to anyone about that kind of thing except for professionals who you trust and are comfortable with.

I think you really could benefit from seeing someone -- not because you're crazy, but because it sounds like the thing that would be most helpful for you.

Have you considered an inpatient program? Even just for a few days, enough to get you more stable so that you can go to the doctors?

You know you need help and that's great for realizing it and not just giving up. But, your illness is preventing you from actually GETTING the help. That's beyond your control and not something you should feel bad about at all, but in order to get better you're going to have to be able to go somewhere to get the help you need.

Going to the hospital might be just the ticket. It doesn't make you nuts or weak or pathetic or any of the other things that an episode of depression will tell you, I mean if you broke your arm or thought you had appendicitis you'd go to save your life, right? It's the same thing. It will also put you someplace where you can get a lot of help fast, which is what you might need to get you over the hump.

I know you probably don't want to go, but I have a friend who did it and though he didn't want to at the time, he now says it was the best thing he could do because he has a full and normal life again.

OP again. Thanks for your kind and supportive words, I really do appreciate them, it has lifted my spirits and I reckon I can enjoy christmas now.

I know that excercise is good, I used to work out alot and it made me feel more confident, I had been going well once I left uni and was looking for work, but too many job rejections crushed me and I haven't touched a weight since.

It is funny, I used to have an active social life, I was never in. One reason for my reclusiveness was in the company I kept. I grew up in a rough part of a rough place, many of my childhood friends have been to jail for things such as drug dealing, serious assault, rape and attempted murder. I was always smarter than them and knew I had to get away from them. Sadly the only place I could go was home. The old me, whilst hanging with bad company, was a much stronger person and wouldn't be in this mess now. Almost 6 years of being a recluse makes me worry that what little confidence and self esteem I had has been lost for good.

Part of what is getting at me is my fear of moving on in life. As I said, I grew up in a rough, shitty place. Most people were on benefits, alot of druggies and alcoholics. My family has a history of alcoholism. It is full of under acheivers, I don't and never have wanted to be like that. I've been to uni, have a degree and a post graduate qualification but...I did have a job, but only for 2 days. I should never have taken it as it was too far away, but I just fell apart emotionally at the thought of this being my life. I couldn't hold it together at all, I don't know what happened to me.

This might sound odd, but the culture of work is alien to me. No matter how well I do academically, when you grow up in a culture of poverty, deprevation, substance abuse and crime, getting out of it is surprisingly difficult. I don't want to exist in such a place, but don't know how to exist outside of it. Shitholes like the place I live have a habit of getting its claws in and holding you in a vice like grip, destroying anything good in you.

I am off to see the doctor on Monday. Meds alone won't help me. I haven't been able to tell her about my violent urges. I feel so ashamed discussing them, the things I sometimes want to do to people are horrific and when I am not in that dark place I feel ashamed of myself. I think I shall write a letter to her, as I can communicate my feelings better on paper than verbally.

Thanks for listening, I hate to ramble on but as I am sure you guys are aware, it does help. It feels nice to be able to get stuff off your chest.

I went through a serious depression back when my most serious girlfriend killed herself, and really there isn't any one panacea. It takes a lot of mental strength, the strength that most people don't have.
What I did, was I forced myself to go out with my friends, and start socialising again. It was the best decesion I've ever made, and the depression lasted a full month, which was FOREVER to someone whos used to being the happiest person ever.

Get out more, do stuff you normally wouldnt do, and just forget about the depression.

I was depressed like you for 3 years. It started back in 2005. My step-grandfather died in Feb. but that was only the start. Depression struck once, I got over it. Little did I know that it would almost kill me. Just a few short months later, I found out I had Hep C from a blood transfusion. I began medication on June 24th 2005. Four days later, my grandmother died. She had always been close to me, we were neighbors. She died of cancer. One of the side effects of the Hep C medication was severe depression. I also began losing hair and feeling extremely tired all the time. It got to the point where I could no longer function normally. I used to make fun of depressed people, "oh they should just cheer up". I got kicked in the ass by it, and having been there, I feel terrible about what I used to think. As 2005 progressed on, it only got worse.

By the next year, I thought I was going crazy. I was having thoughts that life was just a movie, I was watching a movie that would never end. I was seriously concerned about my mental health, but I refused to tell anyone. I graduated high school, which helped a bit, but the next summer was the same as the last. More depressed and strange thoughts.

During this time, my depression was worsened by the fact that I had nobody I could talk to, or consider a real friend. I had no girlfriend, which would later become another problem all its own. Later that year, I started college, which really wasnt for me. I was failing classes, because I saw no reason to work at it. I thought "I have nothing to live for, whats the point?" This was probably the lowest point of all, when I seriously thought about killing myself.

Fast-forward to late 2007. Life had gone pretty much the same, til October. I finally got my first "real" girlfriend. She was definately not the best looking girl, but hey, I thought she "loved" me. Boy was I wrong. I ended up getting her pregnant, and am just now dealing with having a son. I wish I had never met her, but I guess hindsight is 20/20.

In 2008, I decided I was going to end it. Not end my life, like I had wanted to do just a couple years before, but get out of this depressed state. I moved out by myself to an apartment in a new city. I met new people, good and bad. I started a new school, learning to work on cars. The four year college thing wasnt for me. Ive met the best girlfriend I could ever want, who still deeply loves me even after finding out all of this. We have been together 8 1/2 months. My life is now going great. Every day I try to do something new, it helps alot. I look forward to a great future with my girlfriend and friends, but I never forget about the time in my life where I truly felt what it was like to be seriously depressed.