On my long and glorious hiatus from the Internet I discovered that there were wondrous sights, people, and creatures outside the realm of the Internet. I ventured out into that wide, wide world and made all sort of discoveries. I discovered that sometimes you make friends when you least expect it. I met Mr. Nippy.
It was a hot day. It was pushing 100 when I started out into the back yard to mow the grass. I wanted to get it over with so I could take a bath and watch TV naked while drinking a cold beer. Some of the best things in life are the most simple I suppose. It was shortly after I started mowing that I met Mr. Nippy for the very first time. He was curled up under a clump of grass. Mr. Nippy was in a very bad mood that day. When I walked by he nipped at my toes. “This anger just will not do Mr. Nippy”, I thought. Right then and there I knew what Mr. Nippy needed was a friend to play with. I picked him up to cuddle him. He was still in a bad mood but I could tell that he was relaxing and starting to enjoy life again. I even gave him a sip of beer to help him relax.
Sometimes friendships are cut short. So was mine with Mr. Nippy. After Mr. Nippy finished drinking, I put him down. Mr. Nippy was a little bit tipsy at that time and accidentally stumbled into a sharp hoe. Every time I mow the grass now I remember Mr. Nippy and picture him in the happy hunting grounds of the back yard, hiding under a clump of grass waiting to nip at my toes.
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