Not Okay With Being Single.

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01-16-2009, 08:47 AM
Anonymous

Not Okay With Being Single.

I've been single for about two and a half years now. For a while I didn't really care because I was still sleeping around with a few different guys, and being in a relationship didn't really matter.

Now I've grown up and grown past that whole sleeping around phase, and I'd really like to have a meaningful relationship now. The problem is, I'm just far too impatient. And I think I just want the relationship too much. I feel like I'm starting to become so desperate for one, that I'm going to go out with the next schmuck I meet who treats me decently.

I can't seem to be comfortable with the fact that I'm single now. All my friends around me are in relationships, and a few are engaged. And of course, I'm happy for them. But at the same time I'm like, "Well where's my guy?"

Also I can't tell you how many guys have said variations of, "So why no boyfriend?" or "How are you still single?" to me. How the fuck am I supposed to answer that?

I don't know what kind of advice you can offer, and this might be more of a rant than anything, but I'm just sick of feeling lonely and I hate it.
01-16-2009, 08:58 AM
Dr. Baltar

First of all, Relax!

Why not ask your friends if they can set you up with any "nice" guys?

Or if it is really bothering you, you could always try online dating sites?
01-16-2009, 11:59 AM
Pepsi

Question...do you ever try to take the initiative and ask a guy on a date or do you just sit there hoping a guy will ask you?
01-20-2009, 01:01 AM
MrShrike

Well given your state of desperate helplessness, it may or may not be useful for you to know that when a guy says "Why are you still single?", what they are really saying is "You are attractive, please say something in response that will give me an opening to ask you out".

And yes I do mean EVERY SINGLE TIME.
01-22-2009, 11:52 AM
Dr. Baltar

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrShrike

Well given your state of desperate helplessness, it may or may not be useful for you to know that when a guy says "Why are you still single?", what they are really saying is "You are attractive, please say something in response that will give me an opening to ask you out".

And yes I do mean EVERY SINGLE TIME.

Also, from a guys perspectve (in fact, I'll go ahead and say a nice guys perspective) - most nice guys are timid, even shy and would love the opportunity for a girl to come on to them to make it a helluva lot easier.
01-23-2009, 02:26 AM
Anonymous

The way I see it, if a girl asks a guy out, it shows an act of desperation. I believe the guy should ask the girl out.

I think I need to find more opportunities to get out there and meet guys. I'm in my early twenties and I think that's too young for online dating sites. Most of the people on match.com or eharmony.com are looking to settle down long-term, which I'm not ready to do right now.

I think the biggest problem I'm having is that I'm living in a town where there's not a whole lot going on. Maybe once I move out of my hometown and into a bigger city, there'll be more opportunities to meet guys.
01-23-2009, 02:42 AM
gwahir

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anonymous

The way I see it, if a girl asks a guy out, it shows an act of desperation. I believe the guy should ask the girl out.

That's old-fashioned and stupid.

Do it wrong and that's how you'll come off. Do it right and you'll come off as sexy, powerful, confident and high-value.
01-23-2009, 03:38 AM
gwahir

Also this: no way you need anything like eharmony or whatever. Look at this.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anonymous

I was still sleeping around with a few different guys

We know you can get guys interested in you sexually, clearly.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anonymous

I feel like I'm starting to become so desperate for one, that I'm going to go out with the next schmuck I meet who treats me decently

You're good-hearted.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anonymous

of course, I'm happy for them

See above.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anonymous

Also I can't tell you how many guys have said variations of, "So why no boyfriend?" or "How are you still single?" to me. How the fuck am I supposed to answer that?

Most people who hear this are really nice and smart and fun and great to have around but, to be honest, not that interesting sexually. But we know that's not an issue (see above). So, by simply reviewing ONE POST of yours, it's clear that you are clever, genuine, interesting and sexy (well, either sexy or "easy", but it doesn't sound like you got guys just by being "easy"...). You're the girl that guys want. So you SHOULD be confident, and going out there, and asking out guys you like if you like them. It's not desperate. No guy would ever find it desperate. Ever.

You're lucky that, unlike many others, you have good reason to be confident and self-assured, and if you are those things then you'll never come off desperate.
01-24-2009, 04:21 PM
Shinysides

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anonymous

The way I see it, if a girl asks a guy out, it shows an act of desperation. I believe the guy should ask the girl out.

No offense meant, but that is such a cop out. Guys don't see it as an act of desperation, they see a girl asking them out, which is hot. If you aren't willing to ask a guy out, you don't want a guy that bad. It isn't gonna kill you to ask him instead of waiting for hi to ask you. Besides, if he is timid, he'll appreciate it all the more.
01-25-2009, 01:52 AM
MrTroy

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anonymous

The way I see it, if a girl asks a guy out, it shows an act of desperation. I believe the guy should ask the girl out.

I think I need to find more opportunities to get out there and meet guys. I'm in my early twenties and I think that's too young for online dating sites. Most of the people on match.com or eharmony.com are looking to settle down long-term, which I'm not ready to do right now.

I think the biggest problem I'm having is that I'm living in a town where there's not a whole lot going on. Maybe once I move out of my hometown and into a bigger city, there'll be more opportunities to meet guys.

Totally wrong, it does not show desperation, it did in the 50's or 1800's, but in this day in age it is completely acceptable. I mean, it's not like you have to court HIM around, but ask him to take YOU out, like "you can take me to dinner sometime" or something of the like.

I for one and a pretty shy guy when it comes to females, I can never tell if they are flirting or just being nice, so if a girl actually asked me to take her out, that would be so awesome.
01-25-2009, 06:47 PM
nine castles

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anonymous

The way I see it, if a girl asks a guy out, it shows an act of desperation.

Do you think it's an act of desperation for a guy to ask a girl out?
01-25-2009, 08:26 PM
sycld

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anonymous

I think I need to find more opportunities to get out there and meet guys. I'm in my early twenties and I think that's too young for online dating sites. Most of the people on match.com or eharmony.com are looking to settle down long-term, which I'm not ready to do right now.

not all dating sites are as serious as e-harmony or match.com

Quote:

Originally Posted by gwahir

You're lucky that, unlike many others, you have good reason to be confident and self-assured, and if you are those things then you'll never come off desperate.

:shifty:

:(