And that's how the story ends...

I've liked a girl for a pretty long time, but I never had the guts to tell her. Anyway, too much time had passed and I knew at that point I was long stuck in the dreaded "friend zone". Even still, figuring I had nothing to lose, I decided to tell her how I felt. Needless to say, I got the obvious "I see you more as a friend" response, as I was of course expecting. And while I did already know this would be the outcome, it is still quite depressing. Kind of like I built it up for so long and almost deluded myself into thinking there was still a chance, when of course I knew there really wasn't. I guess I'm not really asking for any advice, as there's no advice to give but to get over it and move on, but I figured I'd rant anyway.

Feels like an "end of an era" in a sense. One part of me is of course sad, but the other part is relieved that it's finally over, I guess. Don't really know what to feel. I'm sure others have been in this same spot. It's not fun, but all we can do is let time heal itself and move on with our lives. =/

/pointlessrantthread

Well, not sure if there's anything in particular you want to hear, but I guess you probably know you're not alone.

Just learn from this and don't let it happen again. :)

Don't worry about it. This has happened to me a few times.

Essentially you entered friend mode. It happens every time you sit and wait for an opportunity instead of taking that risk early on.

Next time, ask out a girl you like before she can get into the comfortable "friend" mode with you.

Sorry that it didn't work for you.

The thing about the friend zone is that once you're in it, you're pretty much in it. Sorry it didn't work out for you, but at least now you put your feelings out there and can focus on something else.

I've never been friend-zoned. I fail to comprehend this. Hell, even a girl that was my best friend told me the reason that we weren't dating is because she was still hung up on her ex.

Getting stuck in the "friend zone" usually means you never had a chance to begin with.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by KT.

Getting stuck in the "friend zone" usually means you never had a chance to begin with.

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This.

I'm willing to believe that a girl is just unwilling to date someone before they know them over a girl deciding they like spending time with a person and they like how that person makes them feel but, no, no dating because we're 'friends'. A snap judgment at the beginning of the aquantinceship is more likely than anything else.

I dunno. I've been "friends zoned". I even had a girl tell me that outright. I met a really cool girl once, and I did like her, but I was just so damn busy with cross country and college apps that I didn't feel like it would be fair to ask for more and then not have the time to deliver it. So we were friends til summer when I asked her out, and she said that she'd really liked me when we first met, but I never did anything so she assumed I wasn't interested and at that point I was just a friend. The obvious answer is that she could have asked me out too, but I'm sure she was as nervous as the OP of this thread was and/or wasn't sure how I felt 100% and didn't want to put herself out there.

There is a window of opportunity and sometimes you miss it. It sucks, but it happens to just about everyone at some point.

Why didn't you go, "So what?"

Quote:

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Originally Posted by MalReynolds

Why didn't you go, "So what?"

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When you ask someone out and get that in response, the answer is no. You aren't going to change their mind with questions.

If it's lack of confidence on your part, it certainly is. Dating is a terrific way to get out of the friends zone and an absolute way to get them to stop seeing you as non-option when it comes to sexual compatibility.

I guess I don't see it that way. I asked a question. She gave me an answer. Continuing to ask the question, or to ask more questions, surely wasn't going to change her mind if it was going to be changed at all.

If the shoe was on the other foot - say a girl I wasn't attracted to or was no longer attracted to asked me out, and when I explained my feelings to her she replied with "so what?" - no matter HOW she said it, whether joking or confident or annoying or cocky, my answer would be the same. Why go out with someone you KNOW you don't have feelings of attraction for, or you have had that feelings for and the feelings fizzled?

Hey guys, OP back with an update. Just figured I'd give one cause I'm bored, and the way things ended up turning out were.. amusing, to say the least.

So after I confessed my feelings, the girl and I (I'll call her Brittany) still continued talking (we were friends after all). But all she was doing was talking about was this kid she was into, and how he wouldn't talk to her enough, see her, etc. It was almost like she did it just to rub in the fact that she didn't want me. It hurt. Badly. But since I was born with that awful "nice guy" trait that repels vagina, I continued to play that "nice" role, and offered her support and even advice on how to get the guy. Damn was I a spineless loser. =(

Anyway, this party ended up rolling around, and both of us were planning to attend. The whole month prior, Brittany did nothing but talk about how excited she was gonna be to see the guy there, and all that junk. Well, her friend (Sara) ended up showing up at the party as well. Can you guess the rest? If your answer was that Sara hooked up with the guy, wrong. She hooked up with me. haha. And honestly, I wasn't even trying to hookup with her. It just kind of happened, though I certainly didn't complain. As for the guy Brittany liked.. He didn't even show up, and I looked at his facebook page the next day and saw that he was "in a relationship" with this other random girl.

The next morning (we all slept over the party host's house), Brittany found out what me and her friend did, and naturally she wouldn't talk to me haha. I just found it hilarious that the same girl who flatout rejected me, then continued to bitch about her boy problems, seriously had the audacity to be "mad" that I hooked up with someone else. I guess she liked the fact that I liked her and only her, even though she never had any plans to get into a relationship with me.

Since then, I have talked to her, and we're pretty much cool again. Apparently she told some junk to her other friend about how she "realized she liked me", but too bad. I no longer have feelings for her. As for Sara, she was cool, but it was probably just a one time thing. Not that I mind. It was something that was perfectly timed and I don't regret it. If this whole thing were a "war".. I think I won. =)

Good day to you all!

Jealousy is a nasty tactic- and its always worked in my situations. Try it next time you find yourself heading into this hole.

Congrats on your situation