Difficult Situation

Ok so about two months ago me and this girl dated. We broke up because she claimed it was moving to fast and that her life was to busy for a relationship. I agreed and we ended it. We talked for a while and at one point I thought we would get back together, that didnt happen. Instead we gradually grew apart, she got back with thhe bf she had before me and we stopped talking. After about a month I would say hi to her she would say hi back but that would be the conversation, nothing more nothing less. However last night she started texting me apologizing for how everything went down and that she missed me. We texed for about an hour an that was it. Today she went around telling sme of my two est friends, who are also friends whith her, that me and her were good again and that we talked for hurs last night, even though we didn't talk for that long. Also today she and her bf broke up. I find it coincidental that she had a feeling they would break up and that she started texting me around the same time. Now that they are broken up I get the feeling she is going to try and get back with me. I however, don't know what to do. Honestly I'm still not 100% over her, but everyone is telling me to not deal with it and ignore her. I don't know if I should give it another shot if I get the opportunity or to tell her that I'm not going to. Either way it will be extremely difficult for me and I need advice.

Been in pretty much that exact situation before, she is just using you as her backup guy. Just say no, it will just be letdown and heartache down the road if you get back into this relationship.
Remember, she was the one that broke it off the first time. She will break it off again especially since she knows she still has yet another chance with you down the road probably if you go back to her now.

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Originally Posted by Rick Scarf

Been in pretty much that exact situation before, she is just using you as her backup guy. Just say no, it will just be letdown and heartache down the road if you get back into this relationship.
Remember, she was the one that broke it off the first time. She will break it off again especially since she knows she still has yet another chance with you down the road probably if you go back to her now.

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This. If you go back to her now, you become her doormat forever. It sounds harsh, but you learn from experience, and this is something you really don't want to experience.

Yup. Sever all ties, walk away and don't look back. Don't treat her as any more than a stranger on the street, aka don't be a dick to her but don't go out of your way to make conversation with her in the hallway or anything. Tell her straight up that you are not interested in her any more and that you've moved on, and stick to your guns on that.

I don't get it. She wasn't feeling it at first, but shit didn't work out with the other guy and now she decided she wants you. You're not a "backup guy" if she left him for you-- if anything, that just means seeing him helped her realize why she liked you. I don't know why this is a problem or why you ought to kick her to the curb or whatever.

If you feel like a doormat, then that's an issue you have to address independently. It has nothing to do with the girl.

I agree nine castles, but the thing is he left her...she just culd tell it was going to happen...

I don't want to be used but I'm not 100% over her and I'm afraid that if I do get back with her, the same thing might happen and I'll be hurt even more.

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Originally Posted by Dhessler5

I agree nine castles, but the thing is he left her...she just culd tell it was going to happen...

I don't want to be used but I'm not 100% over her and I'm afraid that if I do get back with her, the same thing might happen and I'll be hurt even more.

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Well, you do what you gotta do man, but if it were me, I'd walk away. She had her chance to be with you and she didn't want it. What's changed since then? My only concern is that if you do go back to her, she'll take it as a sign that no matter what she does, you'll be there waiting for her, which you can't do. I say get on with your life, but like I said, it is your life.

It's not about whether you go back to her, it's about how you go back to her.

This wouldn't be an issue for someone who, like nine castles, is comfortable enough with his integrity to not let someone treat him like a doormat. Don't assume she's being a bitch if you don't have to. Go back to her a better, stronger person than you were before, and if she starts trying to treat you like a doormat, she'll soon see that it's not possible.

I'm more with Gwahir here. Judging by the post, though, you're a doormat.

If it were me I would make her jump through hoops to get back with me. Right now, the ball is in your court, and as long as you are content to walk away from the game at any time, then you have all the power.

(Also note that I am a cold and manipulative so if that isn't your style, ignore everything after the first two sentences.)

Wow grahir, that might be the advce I've heard because it is the most true. Thank you!

I'd try to keep her at a distance at first. If you find yourself as the rebound man, then things will only grow more complicated.