Girl Troubles.

Printable View

03-19-2009, 10:07 PM
chinkecheese

Girl Troubles.

I've never had a girlfriend before.
But on December 12th I met someone online, who completely took me by surprise. She plays counterstrike source with me, we study together, we sing together, we play starcraft, and she even wants to fly down to where I live to come and visit me! (She lives in Canada, I in Texas.)

heres thing.
It was all running so smoothly for about 6 weeks straight. Until get into two big fights, 2 days apart. Both of which were my fault. Completely.
I can go into detail if its important.

I am in love with her, and she is in love with me (this i know, at least before the fight.) but right now... (2 days currently after fight) things just seem different. Like, really different. Before she used to get all excited and right now.. it just doesnt seem like it. She used to send me text messages flattering me, with "*big kisses*"
and I returned the text messages graciously!

But it just seems.. the flame we have is dying.. i dont know what to do..

This has been the most amazing thing i've ever been involved with.. I really feel that hte feeling i have with her right now, doesn't come twice in a lifetime, and i know for alot of people.. this feeling, doesn't even come once.

I'm afraid to lose her.

what should I do? We used to talk 15 hours a day for 6 weeks straight...
maybe its just school?
Maybe she's trying to keep the relationship alive by pushing us away?

I just don't know what to do, and I'm scared to death.
03-19-2009, 10:09 PM
chinkecheese

She fits my personality perfectly.. our timing is a little off... but i really do want to spend the rest of my life with her..
and its not like i've never talked to a girl before! I am certainly not an introvert type.. I just like to envision passionate things about the person i love.

and i think she's the one.

we even think about traveling together!
03-19-2009, 10:12 PM
thank mr skeltal

I'm guessing you're like 16 or so. You've never had a girlfriend, you've known this girl 6 weeks and say you're in love.
I know what I will say will fall on deaf ears probably but if you can trust me at all, the truth is that this is what is called "young love" / "puppy love" / "first love" etc. It will pass, and you will probably compare every girlfriend you have for a while to this girl but it simply isn't meant to be. It's a normal phase of life to be "in love" with someone and talk half the day every day, then for it to go sour. That's life. It sucks, but it's part of growing up so enjoy what you had because it sounds like it's probably ending pretty soon :madclap:
I sound like a dick but people will back me up on this, it's 100% true. It's just a phase. It's normal, you think you're in love but come on, you've known her 6 weeks.
03-19-2009, 10:19 PM
chinkecheese

Nonono. I'm definently 20. As sad as it may seem, Ive just been very picky.
And I've been on dates too! Plenty of them. And It's not that I'm not attractive, and I'm just love crazy for the first girl who actually likes me, but it just seems so pure of a connection. Since this is an online relationship, the emotional bond we have.. man, its crazy!

Maybe what I'm feeling is just new to me, but honestly, who knows any other girls:

1) Attractive
2)Smart
3)Wants to play video games and watch anime?
4)Wants to study

i could go on for hours..

but I understand what you are saying, mister scarf. It just seems so wierd i guess, so alien to me.

Maybe you're right, you probably have more experience than I do, but when I'm around her, I just feel so alive.
Like I could scream and just tell everyone how much I love her.

I could go on for hours what I like about her, and how she makes me feel so special.. but that would be pointless to this topic, as I need help.. haha
03-19-2009, 11:05 PM
gwahir

Meh, I had my first girlfriend at 19. It's no big deal.

What you have with her won't come twice in a lifetime, you're right... because she's your first girlfriend. That's why this is so special. You are obsessing here, and it's unattractive.

What'd you fight about? It could be that's what's driving you apart, but more likely it's just that what you have is fizzling out. That luvey-duvey big kissy stuff wears out. It wore ME out when I was in my first relationship, and I started as the clingy one.

I know plenty of smart, attractive girls who like video games or like to study or like anime. I also know a lot of smart, attractive girls who don't like study but do like kickboxing, or reading crime fiction, or watching nerdy movies. I know some smart, attractive girls who don't like anime but like performing in amateur theatre. I know some smart, attractive girls who like study and anime but don't like video games. Why the hell should it matter what she likes? Please don't base your future around a girl because you share hobbies.

My guess is that she's sensing how gung-ho you are, sensing how attached to her you're becoming (and possibly sensing the bullshit reasons for this attachment as I have discussed above), and it's beginning to turn her off.
03-19-2009, 11:08 PM
gwahir

Quote:

Originally Posted by chinkecheese

Nonono. I'm definently 20. As sad as it may seem, Ive just been very picky.
And I've been on dates too! Plenty of them. And It's not that I'm not attractive, and I'm just love crazy for the first girl who actually likes me...

Well, I'd say it is. She's the first high-value girl who likes you, so you're head over heels.

It's easy to say "it's not that I'm not unattractive!" when you've been on the receiving end of however many crushes from girls you didn't even like, but let's face it -- when was the last time a girl you liked liked you back?
03-20-2009, 12:33 AM
chinkecheese

a fewtimes, but ive always been afraid to date.

maybe im thinkg too much, i should juts let things run their course.
her birhtday is april, im gonna give her ap resent i made... and ill tell her how i feel..

if things dont workout, i wont feel bad. I just wanted to give it a shot.
03-20-2009, 01:10 AM
gwahir

Quote:

Originally Posted by chinkecheese

if things dont workout, i wont feel bad. I just wanted to give it a shot.

Really? Because that sort of comes into conflict with these:

Quote:

Originally Posted by chinkecheese

Maybe you're right, you probably have more experience than I do, but when I'm around her, I just feel so alive.
Like I could scream and just tell everyone how much I love her.

Quote:

Originally Posted by chinkecheese

I could go on for hours what I like about her, and how she makes me feel so special..

Quote:

Originally Posted by chinkecheese

And It's not that I'm not attractive, and I'm just love crazy for the first girl who actually likes me, but it just seems so pure of a connection.

Quote:

Originally Posted by chinkecheese

I just don't know what to do, and I'm scared to death.

Quote:

Originally Posted by chinkecheese

I really feel that hte feeling i have with her right now, doesn't come twice in a lifetime, and i know for alot of people.. this feeling, doesn't even come once.

Quote:

Originally Posted by chinkecheese

I'm afraid to lose her.

Quote:

Originally Posted by chinkecheese

and i think she's the one.

Easy, tiger!

Calm down, buddy. It's probably not even irreparable. Just back off a little bit and try to make your relationship a bit... more fun and less pressure... like I said, what did you fight about?
03-20-2009, 03:34 PM
chinkecheese

it was late. like at 6 am.
i called her a different girls name

a girl i have no, and never had a relationship with. She just thinks I did.
03-20-2009, 03:35 PM
chinkecheese

and I agree with you, before It was more about fun and just us.. rather than everyhing being so pressured.
she told me she doesnt like it when i get pushy..

is this what that means?
03-20-2009, 04:04 PM
chinkecheese

thanks alot everyone. I've come to a realization..
I've been letting people's negative comments about it not being able to work, affect the way I continued the relationship.
It seems that now, I have to go out of my way to try and impress her, constantly.. and i think now that I realize the error, i might be able to improve.
and just act the way I used to act, the way she liked.

im gonna tell her.

thanks alot guys

if anyone has anymore input on this, please add it..
03-20-2009, 05:13 PM
Shinysides

Gwahir and Scarfy pretty much nailed it. You're coming off as over-eager and way too attached, too soon. Girls don't like that, and keep in mind that she is just a regular person too. She doesn't think of herself as perfect, and neither should you. It just makes you look creepy, and if there is one thing that turns girls off, that is it. Just chill out, leave her alone for a little while, give yourself some time to think about the way you've been behaving, and then instead of telling her you'll fix it, just fix it. She'll notice.
03-20-2009, 11:09 PM
YouBoo

How'd you get so crazy over a girl you've never met in person? Add to that talking 15 hours a day for 6 weeks? What's up with that?
03-21-2009, 02:48 AM
chinkecheese

we spent 12 hours last night talking about ice cream.
its what i love about her. we can talk about absolutely anything.. for hours on end.

and its true too! 15 hours for like 6 weeks, hehe
03-21-2009, 11:43 AM
raghead

oh man lol
03-21-2009, 01:05 PM
chinkecheese

not even joking man.
but as an update;

things are going super great so far.

we've started to sleep on the phone again, haha.

hmmmmmm

im gonna get her a good bday presetn!
03-21-2009, 01:34 PM
Shinysides

Regardless of things going well again, keep what we said in mind. But good luck.