Dee, Are you... Gee Es?

I know,
There's no one else to blame this on,
All of what's happening is just me.
And I
Just need to grow up,
Get on with my life,
Put this all behind me
Like some kind of bad memory.
Painting my skin black and blue,
Every time I take you
Back into my arms.
Just where you belong.

You're destroying me,
Ever so peacefully
My maid, with a knife
Putting the poison in my veins
Seeing if I can make it through once more.

I've become,
Some kind of slave,
To the poison on her lips
Pulling her into my arms
Never wanting to let go.

I know,
This is all one sided
How can you care for one of your fiends,
Who just pushes you back into his arms?
I've said,
I've had it up to here with this shit,
But we know this won't be the end of it,
I'll come,
Crawling back for one more shot,
Ever forcing you into my arms