Scornful of myself

I am stressed out all of the time, I struggle to pay bills on a job that pays minimum wage. I work for a misandrist, and I am a second class citizen at work. I am so tired of feeling so fucking helpless, I hate my very existence, I don't even feel like a person any longer. I strive for so much, yet fall short and feel so unaccomplished. I am not sure what to do.

I have thought about going on anti-depressants, but the only thing that scares me are the side effects that could worsen the situation. While I am not quite at the point of eliminating myself from the maelstrom of nothingness I see in every day, I feel I might be pushed further towards it. I was long in denial that it was simply situational, but the more I see every day, the more I am seeing that there is more to it than just having some shitty things in my day...

you could always get a better job as that seems to be the focal point of your misery

Yeah, it definitely seems like your job is the reason you feel so worthless.

Get a goddamn new job.

For once I agree with Faesce, your job seems to be the cause of your troubles.

In the short term, looking for a new career may seem very stressful, but if you look at it from the outside, its something completely new that you can immerse yourself in. If you focus, you can change everything, so I would suggest looking into it, and if you find something appropriate then go for it wholeheartedly

How many hours are you working? Pick up a 2nd job or get more hours, sometimes even 40 hours a week isn't enough.

Been applying for other jobs but nothing is giving way except my fucking mind. I have been trying to get more hours at work, but that is also futile. Also been trying to change departments but I keep getting different bullshit reasons as to why I am not being allowed to change, most of them dealing with be supposedly being lazy which is a bunch of bullshit. I don't even know what to do anymore, I am fucked.

it's pretty clear you're not here for advice due to how hopelessly whiny you come across as, but i don't believe for a second you're not capable of finding another job that pays minimum wage. have you tried craigslist? temp agencies? there are resources out there for even the most unqualified workers in the world. the fact that you don't have a better job is nobodies fault but your own, because you can be damned sure nobody is going to give you a job if you're not trying.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Anonymous

I am fucked.

---

you're not "fucked." some magical genie didn't come and slap that label on you. you have a terrible job and a terrible attitude, but the beautiful thing about being human is that nothing is permanent and you can always change your life, assuming you're motivated enough.

Why not get some free business cards printed online and go door-to-door passing them out (dress nicely) and letting people know that if they need ANY HELP with anything you can do (mow lawns, pull weeds, handyman if you know how, help grocery shopping, etc) to give you a call and change a low flat rate, like $8. Let them know you're a good, honest person that already has one job but you can't get any more hours and can't find anything else. If you can sell yourself as an honest hardworking person that is just trying to work hard to get stabilized in life, your phone will ring. Even go as far as to offer your first hour of work for free (maybe on a 2/hr minimum job?) to a new customer on the condition that they promise to recommend you to at least one friend if you did a good job. Word of mouth advertising is vital for that kind of work, since good honest work is hard to find.
Lots of people have older parents that live at home and could use someone to simply check on them a few hours a day, maybe run some laundry or cook a meal a couple nights a week. Lots of people hate mowing their lawn, some people hate cleaning their pool, I mean whatever. Be observant, if they have a pool in the backyard mention that you would be happy to clean it in your sales pitch - but keep it short - you might even make it a bit funny to get them to listen to you - when they open the door, ask if it is ok to have literally 45 seconds of their time to introduce yourself and explain your services. Keep it within the time promised and ask if they will take your card (your card has your phone number, name, rate you charge, a few of the things you can do for them, and be sure and write HONEST/DEPENDABLE/HARD-WORKING on there), asking them to please call if you can be of any help.

Most, if not all, jobs are miserable. Finding a new job can help, but at minimum wage you'll be hard pressed to find something you enjoy and find challenging. Have you tried doing something outside of a job and your computer? Really, get outside a bit. There's shit to do without having to spend money if you look.

Right now you should try back at a lot of the places you applied at. Lots of kids are leaving for college and quitting their jobs at minimum wage places like fast food restaurants, grocery stores etc. Plus middle and elementary schools are starting; so there are opportunities there to pick up a few hours for ESS and other after school child care if that interests you. Try for a job with less down time. I find that the less time you are talking to your coworkers and the more time you are keeping busy, the less shitty the job is. But that is just my opinion.

First off relax. Time has a way of working things out. I know now it seems like a lot and it probably is but if you give it enough time it will work out. Now keep applying for jobs that aren't minimum wage. This will increase your income and help you pay bills. Stop making new bills. Pay them down as best you can. This is a long process but if you give it time it works. Think about going back to school. Research what job pays what and let that guide you in your decision. I've thought about going to nurses school. It's the closest thing around here I could do that will not make my pay drop drastically. Once you've worked your way up in a field it's harder to do something else.

Hi Himer... welcome.

I think the reason that youre hear, asking these questions, may be validation enough that you believe deep down that you have a problem. Something that is ultimately affecting your life in a negative way. I have definitely struggled with the back and forth of trying to convince myself that I didnt have a problem; that it was "normal" behavior for an adult.

You admitted you are in denial that you have a problem, that you lost a job you valued due to inappropriate behavior. What do I think? What do you think?

There are tools here that will help. When youre ready, I would definitely suggest looking into the lessons.

i think the real reason that u are hear is because u suggested looking into the lemming