I met my hero...at the shoe store.

Because I'm emotionally stunted and selfish, I am horrible at picking out Christmas gifts...so that's why I usually bring along a chick friend of mine to provide thoughtful insight to any gift I purchase (for example, did you know that a tire iron would not be a good gift for a grandmother?).

So anyway, after getting the shit from the mall that would remind my relatives to get me shit this holiday season, Kriss (the friend) drags me into a shoe store before we leave. Now its not just a store that sells shoes. This is a woman's shoe store, where it's wall to wall shoes and shoes accessories that prey on the genetic weakness of women that cause them to purchase more then one pair of shoes despite them only having two feet.

Anyway...

I'm sitting there bored, but feel obligated to at least comment on the shoes that Kriss is showing me because she has practically done my Christmas shopping for me. But throughout the store I glanced and saw that I was not the only guy dragged into this footwear hell. One other young man with his girl friend was seated at the center of the store as she yammered on and on about what styles of shoe or boot or slipper would match with whatever dress she is wearing.

That's when this guy becomes my hero.

He apparently reached his breaking point. He stands up and then at the top of his voice nearly screams, "Where the fuck are the Nikes?!"

Dead quiet followed this bold question.

The girlfriend, horrified either at the fact that he was so crass or so ignorant to shoe store etiquette, quickly grabs him by the wrist and bolts out of the door. As I watch him leave, I realize that he is indeed, one of my heroes for creating such a simplistic way of not weaseling out of shoe shopping, but killing the desire to be brought along when his girl gets that uncontrollable urge to shoe shop.

Here's the gist of the story for those who didn't read the original post:

My friend who is a girl, but not my girlfriend mind you, took me to go shoe shopping. Since I'm a bitch, I just let her drag me into a women's only footwear store. As I was thinking about how I could whine about this experience to my best friends on casualdiscourse later, a young man burst out to his girlfriend, "Where the fuck are the Nikes?" I thought that was pretty clever.

i put forward the motion that KTs version is funnier

girls that drag their boyfriends into stores and shop like that are fucking tools anyway.

my ex boyfriend wanted to take me shopping before my surgery. i'm very easy to shop with.

no more than an hour because i lose interest if i can't find something within that hour. i know what will look good and what won't look good on me, so no point in trying on something that i know will look hideous on me. no muss no fuss. i prefer to do my shopping online anyway.

and i'm the single one over here :/

I hate shopping with anyone. I prefer to shop by myself and spend hours running from store to store finding the best prices and comparing products. I probably spend 24 hours a week at the mall(s), thrift shops, websites, and yard sales for the clothes and other goods that I want. Years of being experience of selling whatever crap I was selling has given me an impervious shield to anyone attempting to advertise their products to me. When a friend attempts to influence my habits, I become extremely annoyed I try and ditch them.

I like shopping with my mom because she'll just follow me around like a shopping assistant, holding clothes I picked out and whatnot.

Yeah, well, you're a terrible human being.

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Originally Posted by KT.

Here's the gist of the story for those who didn't read the original post:

My friend who is a girl, but not my girlfriend mind you, took me to go shoe shopping. Since I'm a bitch, I just let her drag me into a women's only footwear store. As I was thinking about how I could whine about this experience to my best friends on casualdiscourse later, a young man burst out to his girlfriend, "Where the fuck are the Nikes?" I thought that was pretty clever.

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I would like to hire you to summarize all of my work.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Absolution

Yeah, well, you're a terrible human being.

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holy tits this is the only time ive ever seen eye to eye with absolution
















im still negarepping you anyways

edit: also i could tell from the title this was an nbnw thread

If you were gay this wouldn't have happened. Gays online shop, it's much more efficient - so is anal sex for that matter, since they can't get pregnant from it. Perhaps he can be your hero, baby. Maybe he can take away your pain, just like he took your breath away, on that magnificent day...in the shoe store.

Whoa whoa whoa. Gays know about the internet? I thought sycld was the token gay guy?

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Originally Posted by Four

If you were gay this wouldn't have happened. Gays online shop, it's much more efficient - so is anal sex for that matter, since they can't get pregnant from it. Perhaps he can be your hero, baby. Maybe he can take away your pain, just like he took your breath away, on that magnificent day...in the shoe store.

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News flash, guys can't get pregnant from vaginal sex either.

Shopping is only fun when you have a large list of thigns and basically get to go shoppin spreein. Otherwise, it's a faggot it deserved to die and i hope it burns in hell.

But yeah, I'm the guy who's shopping with his girlfriend or mom or sister or some combination of the three because i exercise veto power on stupid purchases.

WE UP IN BARNEYS GOIN DUMB AGAIN

EVERY TIME WE LEAVE THE MANAGER SAY COME AGAIN

-rep.

not about al bundy.

I was expecting to hear how you met Bon Jovi at a shoe shop.

You dick.

I got to wonder, if thats your hero, your aspirations must not be that high eh?

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Originally Posted by no_brains_no_worries

(for example, did you know that a tire iron would not be a good gift for a grandmother?).

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oh haha! i get it! its because youre so manly that you dont understand why it would be an inappropriate gift!