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Thread: ITT you kill David.

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    Mega Bore Atomic's Avatar
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    Default ITT you kill David.

    I thought this up many months ago when CD first came out of LWS. Make up a short funny story of how David died.

    David sold LWS to Niel for 50 grand so he could fund his hobby of yoga, which helped him in his real hobby of masturbation. Once he's able to perform oral on himself then the 50 grand will insure that he never has to leave home. Up on his rooftop he was practicing the fellatio pose he got overbalanced and fell 4 stories to the street below. (Not blow.) Slowly he got up and was hit by a bus.

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    Senior Member Sir Bifford's Avatar
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    Pot overdose.

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    Mega Bore Atomic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sir Bifford View Post
    Pot overdose.
    Too short, not a story and overdosing on pot is no joke.

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    Senior Member Sir Bifford's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Atomic View Post
    Too short, not a story and overdosing on pot is no joke.
    I was just waiting for a pothomo to come by and explain how great their addiction to pot is and how you can't overdose and how they just smoked a bong hit and are sooooooooo high when they shove funions into their pimpled yapper.

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    You see what rly happend is that David choked on my *ut oh* while performing felatio cutting off oxygen to his brain. I started to dial 911 but then I thought, 'Hey, that frozen pizza should be ready'...

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    Canned Kal El's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by HopeYouDie View Post
    You see what rly happend is that David choked on my *ut oh* while performing felatio cutting off oxygen to his brain. I started to dial 911 but then I thought, 'Hey, that frozen pizza should be ready'...
    Seriously likes its a big deal to say cock or penis or dick.

    Maturity at it's finest in this thread!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kal El View Post
    Seriously likes its a big deal to say cock or penis or dick.

    Maturity at it's finest in this thread!
    I chose not to say it- ty.
    There's a difference..

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    Senior Member Absolution's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sir Bifford View Post
    I was just waiting for a pothomo to come by and explain how great their addiction to pot is and how you can't overdose and how they just smoked a bong hit and are sooooooooo high when they shove funions into their pimpled yapper.
    hahahah funyons

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    Senior Member srsinternets's Avatar
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    Honestly HopeYouDie, how fucking old are you. Because you post like you're a 60 year old with the maturity level of a 12 year old. You make it so fucking hard to tell.

    AND ITS NOT FUCKING UT OH.

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    Mega Bore Atomic's Avatar
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    I'm disappointed with the entire community...

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    Quote Originally Posted by srsinternets View Post
    Honestly HopeYouDie, how fucking old are you. Because you post like you're a 60 year old with the maturity level of a 12 year old. You make it so fucking hard to tell.

    AND ITS NOT FUCKING UT OH.
    It is when I write it and you don't have to like it so get over yourself..

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    Canned Kal El's Avatar
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    I feel like ending every sentence with a trail of dots...

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    Senior Member srsinternets's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kal El View Post
    I feel like ending every sentence with a trail of dots...
    Life is more suspenseful that way...

    Or is it...?

















    ...

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    Canned Kal El's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by srsinternets View Post
    Life is more suspenseful that way...

    Or is it...?

    ...
    Like an internet virgin that says ut oh, who got his computer turned on for the very first time!

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    Senior Member srsinternets's Avatar
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    Ut oh...

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    Canned Kal El's Avatar
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    *Ut Oh*

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kal El View Post
    *Ut Oh*
    Your learning.. Keep up the good work.

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    Senior Member Nermy2k's Avatar
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    I punch him in da faesce

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    FFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUU Anonymous D's Avatar
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    feed him some :shrimpmuffins:

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    Senior Member lolturnip's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by HopeYouDie View Post
    Your learning.. Keep up the good work.
    YOU'RE

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    Take orally. no_brains_no_worries's Avatar
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    During a yoga exercise he suddenly gets racked with unbelievable guilt for selling LWS. At that very moment, he loses his balance while during the tree formation, and breaks his neck.

    RIP.
    Quote Originally Posted by ozzy View Post
    He came to the states for his birthday and now he's going home in a body bag. That's what you get for sending your child to Utah.
    Quote Originally Posted by raghead View Post
    i would have whipped out my dick in that situation
    Quote Originally Posted by KT. View Post
    News flash, guys can't get pregnant from vaginal sex either.
    Quote Originally Posted by Atmoscheer View Post
    But what is their policy on winning the hearts and minds through forcible vaginal entry?

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    A very manly muppet Mad Pino Rage's Avatar
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    I slit his throat and pills came out.
    Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth.
    Albert Einstein

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    Senior Member Beef's Avatar
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    Who is David and why I am I killing him?

  24. #24
    eh hedgerow's Avatar
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    Eaten by Michelle Ellis.

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    Band simonj's Avatar
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    David was going to fight a giant called Goliath but he died because one retard can't fight a fucking giant.

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    Quote Originally Posted by HopeYouDie View Post
    You see what rly happend is that David choked on my *ut oh* while performing felatio cutting off oxygen to his brain. I started to dial 911 but then I thought, 'Hey, that frozen pizza should be ready'...
    for the record this is a good post

  27. #27
    beautiful dirty rich Nadia's Avatar
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    He caught herpes from Horrorshow.

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    Canned Kal El's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nadia View Post
    He caught herpes from Horrorshow.
    I lol'd really hard
    Quote Originally Posted by KT_ View Post
    Yes.

    Yesterday I was playing the Mirror's Edge demo while a dude was eating me out. Mirror's Edge is fucking awesome. I'm excited.
    Quote Originally Posted by victrola View Post
    he may be a faggot but in this case he is correct

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    David meditated, practiced Neurogenic Yoga, faced his internal demons, and then his identity (david) died when he realized he was living a lie.

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    Quote Originally Posted by david View Post
    David meditated, practiced Neurogenic Yoga, faced his internal demons, and then his identity (david) died when he realized he was living a lie.
    suicide

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    Sexual Deviant Vengeful Scars's Avatar
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    I recieved my free LWS knife and lighter, I wanted a cock lighter and black knife, but got silver knife and a gay ass dragon lighter.

    I traveled to Arizona.

    With my +2 retardation Knife I cut him so good.

    End.
    lik dis if u cry evertim
    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. E View Post
    yes
    Quote Originally Posted by KT. View Post
    Oh I was expecting a guide to making meth

  32. #32
    Prime Minister of Oztraya paulyt's Avatar
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    He snapped his neck trying to suck his own cock.

    Honestly, I had nothing to do with it. I swear.

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    After visiting the bank to pick up all the money he got from selling his shitty website, David ran into a friend. "Hey friend, how are you? What have you been up to since last we spoke?"

    The friend replied, "Not much. Just got done smoking some methamphetamine. Hey why'd you sell that site? It was a good place for me to vent about my pointless life and call people slurs because they're the most advanced words in my vocabulary."

    "It just wasn't working anymore," and pointing to the bag of money he had just withdrawn, "Plus I needed the money."

    "Thats funny," his friend laughed. Atmosfear then withdrew his gun and shot 12 bullets into David's chest. Atmosfear took the bag of money and dropped it off at his Meth dealer's flat to pay off his debt.

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    mutton mutton's Avatar
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    obit.

    On December 14th, 1977, a happy Southern California woman delivered a baby boy who grew up to be an incredibly attractive, brilliant, and charismatic man. The next day, he was born, and named David Nathaniel Chapman. At age three he told a doctor he had a brain tumor, and life had been quite interesting ever since! He had had quite the eclectic job history, including experience as a professional baseball player, equity trader, technical analyst, maximum security jail guard, and founder of 5 different companies. He had a hard time sitting still so he became a Yogi.

  35. #35
    Imma chargin my lazor clownsocs's Avatar
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    That doesn't lead to death

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    Mega Bore Atomic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mutton View Post
    obit.

    On December 14th, 1977, a happy Southern California woman delivered a baby boy who grew up to be an incredibly attractive, brilliant, and charismatic man. The next day, he was born, and named David Nathaniel Chapman. At age three he told a doctor he had a brain tumor, and life had been quite interesting ever since! He had had quite the eclectic job history, including experience as a professional baseball player, equity trader, technical analyst, maximum security jail guard, and founder of 5 different companies. He had a hard time sitting still so he became a Yogi.
    And then he died?

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