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Thread: Weird Shit Happens When I shit.

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    has hairy legs Janglez's Avatar
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    Exclamation Weird Shit Happens When I shit.

    I don't know about you guys but every time I take a shit my eyes water as if I'm crying. This has been happening ever since I can remember. Now, at times I have taken shits were I needed to cry because of the pain it was causing on my anus but I cry either way.

    I just don't understand. Any one else have any weird shitting habits? Example: Crying like a baby during bowel movements.

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    I loves sausage festival! djwolford's Avatar
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    That's odd.

    My shits are usually pretty straightforward.
    Quote Originally Posted by Toki
    Oh, gives to me opposites werewolves that turns to humans whens the moons comes outs!
    Quote Originally Posted by Toki
    We's not goes downs that dusty roads again!
    Quote Originally Posted by Pickles
    Toki is that straight vadka? It's not even noon...

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    has hairy legs Janglez's Avatar
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    Yeah don't know if its like a disease or something.

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    Senior Member Sir Bifford's Avatar
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    I like to have a fan blowing on me while I'm pooping.

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    Superfly Pepsi's Avatar
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    Sometimes I shit footlong logs that curl themselves in the toilet.
    I hear the voices inside my head. They counsel me. They understand. They talk to me.

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    I loves sausage festival! djwolford's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pepsi View Post
    Sometimes I shit footlong logs that curl themselves in the toilet.
    I've often wondered how a giant log that's a foot long and three inches in diameter can fit through my sphincter unscathed.
    Quote Originally Posted by Toki
    Oh, gives to me opposites werewolves that turns to humans whens the moons comes outs!
    Quote Originally Posted by Toki
    We's not goes downs that dusty roads again!
    Quote Originally Posted by Pickles
    Toki is that straight vadka? It's not even noon...

  7. #7
    Superfly Pepsi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by djwolford View Post
    I've often wondered how a giant log that's a foot long and three inches in diameter can fit through my sphincter unscathed.
    Your anus is rather stretchy.
    I hear the voices inside my head. They counsel me. They understand. They talk to me.

    Quote Originally Posted by djwolford View Post
    You know, when Tidus points out that you have failed at internetting, it's probably time to go ahead and off yourself.
    Quote Originally Posted by gwahir View Post
    pepsi reserves the right to tell cryptic to get out at any time

    it's in the CD charter

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    has hairy legs Janglez's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pepsi View Post
    Sometimes I shit footlong logs that curl themselves in the toilet.
    Yeah I had a shit like that curled right up like the way ice cream looks when you put it on the cone. It was magical.

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    Senior Member Absolution's Avatar
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    I ususally go in, poop, wipe, wash hands, and continue on with my merry day!

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    Senior Member Oats's Avatar
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    I hope you pull your pants down first.

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    Senior Member mkdisciple's Avatar
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    When no ones home, I take a dump with the door open.

    I remember making a thread with the same same words on LWS once.

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    Senior Member Absolution's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Oats View Post
    I hope you pull your pants down first.
    Well of course silly

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    I loves sausage festival! djwolford's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mkdisciple View Post
    When no ones home, I take a dump with the door open.

    I remember making a thread with the same same words on LWS once.
    I always poop with the door open. That's why living by yourself if great.
    Quote Originally Posted by Toki
    Oh, gives to me opposites werewolves that turns to humans whens the moons comes outs!
    Quote Originally Posted by Toki
    We's not goes downs that dusty roads again!
    Quote Originally Posted by Pickles
    Toki is that straight vadka? It's not even noon...

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    McTroy MrTroy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by djwolford View Post
    I always poop with the door open. That's why living by yourself if great.
    Yes... I have almost forgotten there IS a door on my bathroom.
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    boxman Mang's Avatar
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    I hate the word "poop". It's the crappest (pun intended) word ever.

    Anyway I take ages when I shit. I read a magazine and I end up taking like 5 or 10 minutes to shit, then stay on the toilet for another hour just reading. That means I forget to wipe while its moist, and I end up with a crusty shit-infested anus, which means I have to shower.


    So really you could say that including reading, shower and drying time, my shits take me up to an hour and a half.

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    Official of Douchebaggery Kozzle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mang View Post
    I hate the word "poop". It's the crappest (pun intended) word ever.

    Anyway I take ages when I shit. I read a magazine and I end up taking like 5 or 10 minutes to shit, then stay on the toilet for another hour just reading. That means I forget to wipe while its moist, and I end up with a crusty shit-infested anus, which means I have to shower.


    So really you could say that including reading, shower and drying time, my shits take me up to an hour and a half.
    Pure Win right here


    Voting + for making me laugh out loud in a library


    I also engage in the longer shits because I typically am chillin out looking at my phone (even know theres never anything new to look at), read labels, count floor tiles, sing a song in my head. Yeah I like just sitting there
    Telling stupid people they are idiots since 1987

    http://www.georgehernandez.com/h/aaB...nceVsFaith.png

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    Senior Member ShitFace's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mang View Post
    I hate the word "poop". It's the crappest (pun intended) word ever.

    Anyway I take ages when I shit. I read a magazine and I end up taking like 5 or 10 minutes to shit, then stay on the toilet for another hour just reading. That means I forget to wipe while its moist, and I end up with a crusty shit-infested anus, which means I have to shower.


    So really you could say that including reading, shower and drying time, my shits take me up to an hour and a half.
    lol
    I do the same, forgetting wise. Except not to the point of letting it go crusty. Sicko.


    I have to take off my t shirt and anything else I'm wearing on my top half out of fear of catching during wiping.

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    has hairy legs Janglez's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ShitFace View Post
    lol
    I do the same, forgetting wise. Except not to the point of letting it go crusty. Sicko.


    I have to take off my t shirt and anything else I'm wearing on my top half out of fear of catching during wiping.
    Yeah I do the same thing, I always think when I'm wiping It will catch the bottom of my shirt and I might just no know it until it's too late and half the world already saw it.

  19. #19
    Pill popping nihilist Cryptic's Avatar
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    My bowels are weird. It's like sometimes I can't just shit and be done with it. I go in, shit, think I'm done, get up, and 5 minutes later I have to shit again. It doesn't help to sit there and make sure I'm done. I could sit for an hour, get up, and have to shit again in 5 minutes. Embarassing as fuck when it happens on a road trip, at someone else's house, out in public, etc.

    There's also no way I can wipe back to front, once I got shit on my ballsack after a particularly messy one and it was about the most disgusting thing ever.

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    Senior Member Oats's Avatar
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    Cryptic your bowel movements make me tingle.

  21. #21
    Pill popping nihilist Cryptic's Avatar
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    LOL finally I did something you approve of.

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    Senior Member Oats's Avatar
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    Cute.

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    λεγιων ονομα μοι sycld's Avatar
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    Okay, I know what people are going to fucking say, but no that's not it since I've never had it back there. This stuff or stuff like it has also been happening to me since I've been a kid.

    Anyways, occasionally things happen when I do number 2. For example, I've sometimes felt something that felt like a little bit of inflammation in my nose accompanied by a brief sneezing fit. Other times, after periods of constipation, I see spots in front of my eyes briefly.

    I've never had the easiest time with my gastrointestinal system, especially its... end... and that's one reason why I don't like hot weather; it makes it harder to tolerate it.
    Last edited by sycld; 11-15-2008 at 02:04 AM.


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    the common sense fairy solecistic's Avatar
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    This thread is so fucking gross.

    Why do boys like to talk about pooping? Gross.

    Gross.

  25. #25
    Senior Member ShitFace's Avatar
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    Boys are gross

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    the common sense fairy solecistic's Avatar
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    Gross.

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    I loves sausage festival! djwolford's Avatar
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    Well at least we don't have cooties like girls do.
    Quote Originally Posted by Toki
    Oh, gives to me opposites werewolves that turns to humans whens the moons comes outs!
    Quote Originally Posted by Toki
    We's not goes downs that dusty roads again!
    Quote Originally Posted by Pickles
    Toki is that straight vadka? It's not even noon...

  28. #28
    the common sense fairy solecistic's Avatar
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    cooties > poo obsession

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    If girls had glorious poop sessions like guys do they would be obsessed as well.

    You mad because girls aren't as good at pooping?
    Quote Originally Posted by Toki
    Oh, gives to me opposites werewolves that turns to humans whens the moons comes outs!
    Quote Originally Posted by Toki
    We's not goes downs that dusty roads again!
    Quote Originally Posted by Pickles
    Toki is that straight vadka? It's not even noon...

  30. #30
    the common sense fairy solecistic's Avatar
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    I CAN'T TAKE ANY MORE OF THE POOP TALK I AM SO OUTTA HERE

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    Super Moterhater k1nk0s's Avatar
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    can i poop on you sole?
    Quote Originally Posted by Nadia View Post
    Well I like penis

    so there

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    I loves sausage festival! djwolford's Avatar
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    German scheister movie soon to be itt.
    Quote Originally Posted by Toki
    Oh, gives to me opposites werewolves that turns to humans whens the moons comes outs!
    Quote Originally Posted by Toki
    We's not goes downs that dusty roads again!
    Quote Originally Posted by Pickles
    Toki is that straight vadka? It's not even noon...

  33. #33
    Pill popping nihilist Cryptic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sycld View Post
    Okay, I know what people are going to fucking say, but no that's not it since I've never had it back there. This stuff or stuff like it has also been happening to me since I've been a kid.

    Anyways, occasionally things happen when I do number 2. For example, I've sometimes felt something that felt like a little bit of inflammation in my nose accompanied by a brief sneezing fit. Other times, after periods of constipation, I see spots in front of my eyes briefly.

    I've never had the easiest time with my gastrointestinal system, especially its... end... and that's one reason why I don't like hot weather; it makes it harder to tolerate it.
    Well the spots are the increase in blood pressure from straining to go when you're bound up.

    And wtf? You're either a top, not gay, or a gay guy that doesn't fuck. Which is it?

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    I loves sausage festival! djwolford's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cryptic View Post
    And wtf? You're either a top, not gay, or a gay guy that doesn't fuck. Which is it?
    I've often felt like sycld isn't really gay. I don't know why.
    Quote Originally Posted by Toki
    Oh, gives to me opposites werewolves that turns to humans whens the moons comes outs!
    Quote Originally Posted by Toki
    We's not goes downs that dusty roads again!
    Quote Originally Posted by Pickles
    Toki is that straight vadka? It's not even noon...

  35. #35
    Pill popping nihilist Cryptic's Avatar
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    Yeah me too. I dunno, maybe he just tries to hard always talking about how he's gay. And somebody, I don't remember who, said once that he admitted on IRC that he wasn't gay IRL. Doesn't matter though, it's still funny as hell.

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    A very manly muppet Mad Pino Rage's Avatar
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    I hope I find someone who loves me enough to poop on me.
    Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth.
    Albert Einstein

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    Senior Member Rainmann's Avatar
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    Your day will one day.

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    Most people seem to spend forever in the toilet, taking in reading material etc, when I shit it takes under a minute everytime.
    I don't have explosive diarrhea or practice goatse, I just shit fast.

  39. #39
    I loves sausage festival! djwolford's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    Most people seem to spend forever in the toilet, taking in reading material etc, when I shit it takes under a minute everytime.
    I don't have explosive diarrhea or practice goatse, I just shit fast.
    As do I. I get in, get the job done and get out. Taking a glorious shit doesn't mean you should stay in there and bask in it.
    Quote Originally Posted by Toki
    Oh, gives to me opposites werewolves that turns to humans whens the moons comes outs!
    Quote Originally Posted by Toki
    We's not goes downs that dusty roads again!
    Quote Originally Posted by Pickles
    Toki is that straight vadka? It's not even noon...

  40. #40
    has hairy legs Janglez's Avatar
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    I do shit pretty quick but I guess I just know I have to like wipe and wash my hands when I'm done so I just sit there because I'm lazy.

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