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Thread: ITT: The Crappy B-Movies you love

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    Senior Member BLMWolby's Avatar
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    Default ITT: The Crappy B-Movies you love

    I don't know about most people, but to be perfectly honest, the crappier the movie, the more i tend to enjoy it.

    So, i'm thinking we should probably discuss some of our favorites.

    Trailer Park of Terror:

    Zombies. Trailer Parks. Troubled Teens. Massive Cleavage.

    What more can be said about one of the most ridiculously crappy zombie movies I've ever seen? (I've seen quite a few too..) On a scale of 1-10, 1 being a normal movie and 10 being a movie with a 35 dollar budget that they spent on catering, i'd have to give this movie a 6.

    The story:
    Omg this one chick is at a trailer park. Lol she has the bewbs. Omfg everyone is mean to her. ZOMGZ Theys dead now.
    10 years later!
    Why is everyone a zombie? Oh well. Gore.. More gore. Wait.. did that zombie really just shoot heroine? Yes.. Yes he did.

    Music:
    Country.. Duh. This movie is made way better by the simple fact that the drug addict zombie also happens to play guitar and sing. A lot.

    Sex:
    Nothing says "Orgasm!" like a zombie sex scene. Its in there. I rewound.

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    Senior Member Sir Bifford's Avatar
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    This sounds like my kind of movie.

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    Senior Member BLMWolby's Avatar
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    Lol yeah, if you like crap its really freakin good. It was like 10.99 at Walmart. When I get outta class ill review the other freakin cheap movie I got

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    Senior Member BLMWolby's Avatar
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    Breathing Room:

    The Game (Which you just lost, Btw..). Rules. Death. Murder. Murder?

    That pretty much sums Breathing Room. This random girl gets thrown into this room with like 8 other people who are all wearing jumpsuits. She is then asked to change immediately and is told to make sure to follow the rules. The camera pans to one of the rules on the wall that says "Keep your hands Clean" It is stressed that those who break the rules. Die. Every 'contestant' is wearing a crappy metal collar that will shock and kill you on remote command. They are always being watched.

    Plot:
    The movie just follows through the game until just one contestant survives..

    Movies it reminds me of:
    Battle Royale (Book and Movie) and Saw
    (I'm sure you could find even more movies that they ripped off)

    Music: Its actually pretty damn suspenseful if you just listen to it.

    Sex: Yeah.. none

    Scale:
    8. To be honest, it was REALLY REALLY low budget, but the story and the final outcome is awesome.

    Not as campy as Trailer Park (This movie actually TRIES to be serious...) but still good.

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    Superfly Pepsi's Avatar
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    Plan 9 from Outer Space
    I hear the voices inside my head. They counsel me. They understand. They talk to me.

    Quote Originally Posted by djwolford View Post
    You know, when Tidus points out that you have failed at internetting, it's probably time to go ahead and off yourself.
    Quote Originally Posted by gwahir View Post
    pepsi reserves the right to tell cryptic to get out at any time

    it's in the CD charter

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    Journeyman Cocksmith Mr. E's Avatar
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    Steel starring Shaquille O'Neil. I own the VHS but it is almost worn out.

    Also, Surf Ninjas. The one with Rob Schneider.

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    Senior Member fm2176's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pepsi View Post
    Plan 9 from Outer Space
    Haven't seen that in over ten years. I picked up the color re-release a few weeks ago and might try to watch it this week.

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    Prime Minister of Oztraya paulyt's Avatar
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    Kazaam

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    Tromeo and Juliet. What the fuck? A giant penis worm and then they are eating popcorn out of her eviscerated gut.
    Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth.
    Albert Einstein

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    Touch Me I'm Sick dudeman's Avatar
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    Terror Firmer

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    Take orally. no_brains_no_worries's Avatar
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    You have done a wonderful service by bringing this movie to my attention!

    +
    Quote Originally Posted by ozzy View Post
    He came to the states for his birthday and now he's going home in a body bag. That's what you get for sending your child to Utah.
    Quote Originally Posted by raghead View Post
    i would have whipped out my dick in that situation
    Quote Originally Posted by KT. View Post
    News flash, guys can't get pregnant from vaginal sex either.
    Quote Originally Posted by Atmoscheer View Post
    But what is their policy on winning the hearts and minds through forcible vaginal entry?

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    Kazaam starring Shaq.

    Double Dragon
    I hear the voices inside my head. They counsel me. They understand. They talk to me.

    Quote Originally Posted by djwolford View Post
    You know, when Tidus points out that you have failed at internetting, it's probably time to go ahead and off yourself.
    Quote Originally Posted by gwahir View Post
    pepsi reserves the right to tell cryptic to get out at any time

    it's in the CD charter

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    Senior Member BLMWolby's Avatar
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    13 Hours in a Warehouse

    Awesome Movie Titles. Conversations about Real Movies!. Crappy Robbers. Snuff Film Ghosts!

    How long were they at that.. Wait.. where were they? Oh.. They spent 13 hours in a Warehouse! First off, this is the BEST crappy movie title I've seen in a long time. Secondly, the movie's useless dialog and crappy music choices makes this a definite WIN.

    The story:
    Long conversation with the camera rotating the group talking by the longest running train in the world. Wait.. did that character just scratch his head AGAIN? ..Did they move their lips and dub over the conversation? I think they did...


    3 years of useless dialog later
    Why is this chick here? Oh she's a hostage/witness ok. Wait.. Were those numbers written on the wall when we got here? Who wrote those numbers?!?! Omg it ends up being a vault combo with snuff films in it. No wonder all those bondage ghosts kept whispering it. Lets watch a movie about a guy who watches 2 movies inside that one movie! OMG Climax of movie. OMG super fail ending.

    Music:
    Yeah, most of the music was being played over a radio on set, and it was all the worst choice for the setting. Unless teen angst was the mood they were going for.

    Sex:
    Nothing is as awesome as Softcore Snuff Films in the middle of the movie...

    4/10

  14. #14
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    13 Hours in a Warehouse

    Guy Ritchi film meets stereotypical Japanese horror movie meets LOST meets cheap porno flick meets Clerks meets rejected Sundance film.

    edit: Oh and all of that meets boring snuff.
    Last edited by KT_; 11-28-2008 at 01:41 AM.

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