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Thread: Panda Bites Student

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    Angry Panda Bites Student

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    Why the fuck would you want to get into the same vicinity as a bear? I think polar bears rock, but I'm not going to try to hug one.
    I hear the voices inside my head. They counsel me. They understand. They talk to me.

    Quote Originally Posted by djwolford View Post
    You know, when Tidus points out that you have failed at internetting, it's probably time to go ahead and off yourself.
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    Senior Member ShitFace's Avatar
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    Ask sole, I can imagine her doing something like this in a moment of mad panda love.

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    Superfly Pepsi's Avatar
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    Just to get all of those out of the way.
    I hear the voices inside my head. They counsel me. They understand. They talk to me.

    Quote Originally Posted by djwolford View Post
    You know, when Tidus points out that you have failed at internetting, it's probably time to go ahead and off yourself.
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    pepsi reserves the right to tell cryptic to get out at any time

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    λεγιων ονομα μοι sycld's Avatar
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    "Yang Yang was so cute and I just wanted to cuddle him. I didn't expect he would attack," the 20-year-old student, surnamed Liu, said in a local hospital, according to the official Xinhua News Agency.
    What a stupid idiot. How can you do something like this when you're 20 years old?

    Are the stereotypes that pandas are so docile and gentle that strong?


    PANDAS
    If you don't like them, then get the fuck out.

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    Atheists are quite right

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    Quote Originally Posted by sycld View Post
    What a stupid idiot.
    That's redundant.
    I hear the voices inside my head. They counsel me. They understand. They talk to me.

    Quote Originally Posted by djwolford View Post
    You know, when Tidus points out that you have failed at internetting, it's probably time to go ahead and off yourself.
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    pepsi reserves the right to tell cryptic to get out at any time

    it's in the CD charter

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pepsi View Post
    Full Story

    Why the fuck would you want to get into the same vicinity as a bear? I think polar bears rock, but I'm not going to try to hug one.
    That's just RETARDED..

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    Senior Member Sir Bifford's Avatar
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    LIES! A panda would never harm another living being.

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    Superfly Pepsi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by HopeYouDie View Post
    That's just RETARDED..
    That's not a vewy nice word.
    I hear the voices inside my head. They counsel me. They understand. They talk to me.

    Quote Originally Posted by djwolford View Post
    You know, when Tidus points out that you have failed at internetting, it's probably time to go ahead and off yourself.
    Quote Originally Posted by gwahir View Post
    pepsi reserves the right to tell cryptic to get out at any time

    it's in the CD charter

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    the common sense fairy solecistic's Avatar
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    I would be honored to have been bitten by this panda.

    Love bites.

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    the common sense fairy solecistic's Avatar
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    The same panda was in the news in 2006 when he bit a drunk tourist who broke into his enclosure and tried to hug him while he was asleep. The tourist retaliated by biting the bear in the back.

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    Senior Member Sion's Avatar
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    Pandas usually ARE docile..
    It's when you get too close to them that they attack.

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    feel like funkin' it up gwahir's Avatar
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    little known (possibly incorrect) fact: pandas are actually carnivores, just lazy. so lazy that they refuse to chase down meat, instead choosing the relatively slow moving bamboo to hunt and eat.

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    I believe you gwahir.
    I hear the voices inside my head. They counsel me. They understand. They talk to me.

    Quote Originally Posted by djwolford View Post
    You know, when Tidus points out that you have failed at internetting, it's probably time to go ahead and off yourself.
    Quote Originally Posted by gwahir View Post
    pepsi reserves the right to tell cryptic to get out at any time

    it's in the CD charter

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    feel like funkin' it up gwahir's Avatar
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    You didn't need to prove it. I'm naive and will just take your word for it.
    I hear the voices inside my head. They counsel me. They understand. They talk to me.

    Quote Originally Posted by djwolford View Post
    You know, when Tidus points out that you have failed at internetting, it's probably time to go ahead and off yourself.
    Quote Originally Posted by gwahir View Post
    pepsi reserves the right to tell cryptic to get out at any time

    it's in the CD charter

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    McTroy MrTroy's Avatar
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    Nature folks, the person broke into the panda's territory, how would you react if a stranger broke into your home?

    When it said student, I was thinking 8 year old. More forgivable. This person was TWENTY. The bear should have mauled the person to death, that way they can't have equally retarded kids.
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    Soup's trained pandas have finally started to do his work.

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    λεγιων ονομα μοι sycld's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gwahir View Post
    Despite its taxonomic classification as a carnivore, the Giant Panda has a diet that is primarily herbivorous, which consists almost exclusively of bamboo. However, the Giant Panda still has the digestive system of a carnivore and does not have the ability to digest cellulose efficiently, and thus derives little energy and little protein from consumption of bamboo. The average Giant Panda eats as much as 9 to 14 kg (20 to 30 pounds) of bamboo shoots a day. Because the Giant Panda consumes a diet low in nutrition, it is important that it keep its digestive tract full. The limited energy input imposed on it by its diet has affected the panda's behavior. The Giant Panda tends to limit its social interactions and avoids steeply sloping terrain in order to limit its energy expenditures.[16]
    Keep in mind that in this context, "carnivore" is referring to its taxonomic definition, in which case it doesn't mean an animal that exclusively eats meat, but rather refers to species in the order "carnivora." Click on the wiki link in the original article if you don't believe me.

    Or, if you still don't believe me, look at carnivore's disambiguation page:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carnivore_(disambiguation)

    A carnivore is an animal with a diet consisting primarily of meat.

    Other uses of Canivore include:

    * Carnivora, an order of primarily carnivorous mammals
    etc.

    (Remember, kids, that wikipedia contains all knowledge on earth and is infallible.)

    Anyways, because pandas can subsist on both vegetable matter as well as meat, in the dietary sense pandas are omnivorous, not carnivorous.


    PANDAS
    If you don't like them, then get the fuck out.

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    Atheists are quite right

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    feel like funkin' it up gwahir's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sycld View Post
    Anyways, because pandas can subsist on both vegetable matter as well as meat, in the dietary sense pandas are omnivorous, not carnivorous.
    well i know. obviously they can subsist on just vegetables, because, as i said, they do.

    the wiki article says that pandas' behaviour is lazy -- they can't exert themselves too much -- because of their diet. i had it the other way round, but essentially i said the same thing.

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    Quote Originally Posted by gwahir View Post
    well i know. obviously they can subsist on just vegetables, because, as i said, they do.

    the wiki article says that pandas' behaviour is lazy -- they can't exert themselves too much -- because of their diet. i had it the other way round, but essentially i said the same thing.
    POINT IS THAT IN DIETARY TERMS PANDA IS NOT CARNIVORE BUT IS OMNIVORE RAAAAAAAWWWWRRR AFAWETOIGKJEA!@#$$%!%


    PANDAS
    If you don't like them, then get the fuck out.

    Quote Originally Posted by Think View Post
    Atheists are quite right

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    feel like funkin' it up gwahir's Avatar
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    THAT CONTRADICTS NOTHING I SAID OMIGOD ARGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHFISTTHROUGHWALLGOD DAMMIT

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    λεγιων ονομα μοι sycld's Avatar
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    that's it.


    i'm gonna rape you.


    PANDAS
    If you don't like them, then get the fuck out.

    Quote Originally Posted by Think View Post
    Atheists are quite right

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    has hairy legs Janglez's Avatar
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    Why would you ever want to cuddle a caged animal? The cages are there for a reason...

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    Imma chargin my lazor clownsocs's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Janglez View Post
    Why would you ever want to cuddle a caged animal? The cages are there for a reason...
    Because it's motherfucking cute alright?!

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    feel like funkin' it up gwahir's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Janglez View Post
    Why would you ever want to cuddle a caged animal? The cages are there for a reason...
    i think if i had the chance to hug a panda, i'd risk it.

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    λεγιων ονομα μοι sycld's Avatar
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    Actually, when we went to the panda reserve near Chengdu, Sichuan, my mom had an opportunity to hold a baby panda in her lap. I'd say it was about 1/4-1/5 the size of an adult panda,so it was still rather enormous.

    However, it was incredibly gentle and had an inquisitive, innocent look. I'm pretty sure that's what most people think or hope pandas are like.


    PANDAS
    If you don't like them, then get the fuck out.

    Quote Originally Posted by Think View Post
    Atheists are quite right

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    team mischief Who's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Janglez View Post
    Why would you ever want to cuddle a caged animal? The cages are there for a reason...
    The cages are there to protect mankind from a higher species.

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    True fact : a panda can flip a large car onto it's roof and have been known to do so. They also kill more humans per year than any other creature.

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    Quote Originally Posted by gismo View Post
    They also kill more humans per year than any other creature.
    if that really is true, then it's probably more the humans' fault for thinking that pandas are just big cuddly teddy bears than the pandas'


    PANDAS
    If you don't like them, then get the fuck out.

    Quote Originally Posted by Think View Post
    Atheists are quite right

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    team mischief Who's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sycld View Post
    if that really is true, then it's probably more the humans' fault for thinking that pandas are just big cuddly teddy bears than the pandas'
    Pandas are never at fault, read the constitution.

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    Quote Originally Posted by gismo View Post
    True fact : a panda can flip a large car onto it's roof and have been known to do so. They also kill more humans per year than any other creature.
    Actually, mosquitoes do.

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    feel like funkin' it up gwahir's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gismo View Post
    True fact : a panda can flip a large car onto it's roof and have been known to do so. They also kill more humans per year than any other creature.
    i greet that second fact with incredulity

    you're going to have to back that up

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    Quote Originally Posted by gwahir View Post
    i greet that second fact with incredulity

    you're going to have to back that up
    he was obviously kidding, since as of 2004 there were only 1400 pandas in the wild, concentrated in a relatively small region of the world.


    PANDAS
    If you don't like them, then get the fuck out.

    Quote Originally Posted by Think View Post
    Atheists are quite right

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    In the student's defense, Pandas are the pussiest bears in existence.
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    McTroy MrTroy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by no_brains_no_worries View Post
    In the student's defense, Pandas are the pussiest bears in existence.
    Thats stupid... a tank might be the "smallest" tank in the world, but it is still a goddamn tank.
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    Quote Originally Posted by MrTroy View Post
    Thats stupid... a tank might be the "smallest" tank in the world, but it is still a goddamn tank.
    Tanks don't bleed nor are they on the endangered species list.
    Quote Originally Posted by ozzy View Post
    He came to the states for his birthday and now he's going home in a body bag. That's what you get for sending your child to Utah.
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    i would have whipped out my dick in that situation
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    News flash, guys can't get pregnant from vaginal sex either.
    Quote Originally Posted by Atmoscheer View Post
    But what is their policy on winning the hearts and minds through forcible vaginal entry?

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