Housing and roommate difficulties.

[Anonymous]

Thanks to generous family members, my brother and are about to be given a five bedroom house which we can stay in until we are through with college. Officially everything will be in my name but I feel that instead of trying to be the all powerful overlord, I'll chat with my brother and try to work out all difficulties.

We haven't even moved into the house yet and we're already having some difficulties.

First and foremost are roommates. We are planning on having about three of them, and two of them are going to be our close friends. That leaves one roommate undecided and here comes our disagreement: My brother has a lot of jobless, stoner and stereotypical bum friends that he adores. He is already planning on our place being a constant party spot (something he needs to get out of his head) but he is determined it seems to have one of these friends move in with us.

Now I have met all of his friends, and they are fun but I just don't see myself getting along with any of them in the long run. Also, most of them change jobs on almost a weekly basis, which has me concerned. So far my strongest argument is that his friends don't have jobs, but I just cannot seem to get my dumbass of a brother to see that being out on your own requires more then just a six pack and weed.

If anyone has any suggestions on how to go about this situation, please let me know. When push comes to shove, I can just throw my weight around and tell my brother flat out that his jobless friends won't be staying with us. I don't want to go through with this course of action as it might cause some conflict and troubles which I don't believe we need during our first few months in a new house.

Thank you.

[solecistic]

Well, let's put the possible personality differences aside for a moment, because it seems to me that you're more concerned about rent being paid - or at least you've made it seem that way to your brother (which is the best way to approach the situation, imo).

Maybe compromise? Tell your brother that you'll allow this last spot to the person of his choice, but that you are very concerned about whether this person can make rent reliably. Tell your brother that at the first missed payment, said friend is out. You can even make this a house rule if you want, and let people know that the house is in your name, so your ability to make timely payments on it is critical. It seems a little harsh, because most renters are allowed some leeway on this, but it's a good way to make sure your brother's friend doesn't screw you.

Another idea would be to jack up the deposits for everyone so that any stoners/bums without cash in hand are automatically excluded from consideration.

As far as the personality thing goes, though...you do have the final say, but it's a big house. If someone's behavior bothers you enough in a house that large, it's time to send them packing, regardless. But consider letting the person pay a few months of rent first - it will make your brother happy that you're considering his feelings, and as long as money comes in, you're making your bottom line. You might even find that you get along with his friend better than you'd anticipated.

Good luck, either way.

[Cryptic]

Tell your brother that if his friend flakes out, HE [your brother] is responsible for paying that portion of the rent. The consequences should be his too. He's your bro - he should want what's best for you and blowing your credit at the age of 18-22 is not what's best for you.

As for getting along, unless the person is a rude, inconsiderate, dishonest party animal and theif, you're going to have to make it work. You can't spend your entire life kicking out people you don't like - one day you'll be stuck with them. What if you don't like your coworkers (hint: you will NEVER like ALL of your coworkers)? You can't switch jobs every time you don't like someone. What if you don't like your BF/GF's friends (and there will always be 1 or 2 that you don't)? You can keep ending relationships every time you don't like 100% of their friends 100% of the time. Like I said, if you have a concrete reason like illegal activities, gross inconsideration, etc to get rid of this guy, I'm sorry but "I don't like him" isn't much of a reason. Your brother has a right to have people he likes in his house too, and it is his house as well, even if it is in your name.