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Thread: Terrible terrible death

  1. #1
    Journeyman Cocksmith Mr. E's Avatar
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    Default Terrible terrible death

    Boy Killed By Anal Penetrating Chair

    In China, a fourteen-year-old boy was killed when chair he was sitting on exploded.

    Parts of the chair entered the boy’s rectum. The result was extensive bleeding. And it killed him.
    Full Story

    Oh lordy, that's not the way to go.

  2. #2
    I loves sausage festival! djwolford's Avatar
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    I mean it's terrible, but I'm having a hard time taking it seriously.
    Quote Originally Posted by Toki
    Oh, gives to me opposites werewolves that turns to humans whens the moons comes outs!
    Quote Originally Posted by Toki
    We's not goes downs that dusty roads again!
    Quote Originally Posted by Pickles
    Toki is that straight vadka? It's not even noon...

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    Band simonj's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by article
    And all that remained of the chair was part of the leg and a sticker saying 'Made In China'.

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    Superfly Pepsi's Avatar
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    Hehe...it's was Pee-Wee's talking chair.
    I hear the voices inside my head. They counsel me. They understand. They talk to me.

    Quote Originally Posted by djwolford View Post
    You know, when Tidus points out that you have failed at internetting, it's probably time to go ahead and off yourself.
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    pepsi reserves the right to tell cryptic to get out at any time

    it's in the CD charter

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    Senior Member ozzy's Avatar
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    The visual made me lol more than anything else today.

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    A very manly muppet Mad Pino Rage's Avatar
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    The last thing he felt was something up his butt.
    Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth.
    Albert Einstein

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    Senior Member Sion's Avatar
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    Is it bad that I can't stop laughing?

  8. #8
    Love's Young Nightmare Nevrmore's Avatar
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    I thought it was some sort of erotic chair specifically designed for rectal infiltration at first. It's less funny that it's just a really retardedly designed chair.

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    Senior Member Killuminati's Avatar
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    one of my roomates just showed me this. that is a horrible way to go. I mean imagine just sitting there minding your own business and your chair explodes into your ass and you bleed out and die.

  10. #10
    Pill popping nihilist Cryptic's Avatar
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    I pity whoever had to tell the family what happened and how more than I pity the kid that died.

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    Band simonj's Avatar
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    That would have been a pretty fucked up phone call...

    "Hello, Mrs. Chang?"

    "Yes?"

    "I have some terrible news about your son. He was killed this afternoon, we need you to come and identify the body"

    "Oh my God!! How did it happen?"

    "Well, the chair he was sitting on exploded and caused massive anal damage..."

    "...Am I on the radio...??"

  12. #12
    Band simonj's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by simonj View Post
    "Herrow, Mrs. Chang?"

    "Wres?"

    "I have some tellybur noose about your son. He was kewed this aftellnoo, we need you to come and identify the body"

    "Oh my Buddha!! How dirrit happen?"

    "Weh, the chair he was sitting on exprowded and caused massive anar damage..."

    "...Am I on the raderow...??"
    Altered to reflect my racist attitudes of Chinese accents.

  13. #13
    Love's Young Nightmare Nevrmore's Avatar
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    You think that they can't pronounce Y's?

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    Senior Member Infernus's Avatar
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    ya its just l's buddy

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    Band simonj's Avatar
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    The chinese lady on my street (who, in a bid to banish stereotypes, also owns a chinese take away) pronounces 'yes' like that. I'm pretty sure she's fine with a lot other 'y' sounds though.

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    Senior Member thermal's Avatar
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    Wow, when you said anally penetrating chair, I was thinking something like what George Clooney made in Burn After Reading

  17. #17
    Love's Young Nightmare Nevrmore's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by thermal View Post
    Wow, when you said anally penetrating chair, I was thinking something like what George Clooney made in Burn After Reading
    I know, right?

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