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Thread: Is it just me or are Wheat Thins fucking addicting...

  1. #1
    Scito Te Ipsum TheOriginalGrumpySpy's Avatar
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    Default Is it just me or are Wheat Thins fucking addicting...


    JUST LOOK AT IT MOCKING YOU. WAITING FOR YOU TO OPEN BOTH OF ITS LAYERS.
    The epitome of ultimate snack food. I think my love for them started back in the Spring of '01 when I had my first sexual experience with a tranny. After I finished with shim, hir offered me a cigarette but when I said no hir offered wheat thins instead. I obliged and when the first piece of salt touched my lips I became addicted. It started as a simple obsession, but it became much more. It became something more than I could possibly imagine.

    It only took 1 day of withdrawls from Wheat Thins and I was already suckin' dick behind the Circle K for crumbs. Something was better than nothing and I could take whatever I could get. It wasn't long before I started selling my textbooks and stealing from my roommates inorder to get a pinch... of that sweet wheaty salt. I was downing boxes by the hour. I was so strung out on days that I had to have the lining to a box with me at all times so that I could lick it. Doctors told me I needed to lay off the Thins. I knew I had to, but when you have an addiction you can't help yourself.

    After 3 years I was on the street and in a bad place. I was embalming myself, my skin was dry and my heart was failing. Snorting salt was getting my no where. I had to get help so I did.

    When I entered rehab I was slowly coming off the Whiskey Tangos. I was getting into the dating scene again and had re-enrolled into school. Until they released the Tomato Basil blend. Everything spiraled out of control and my world was crashing down on me. The delicate foundations of confidence that I had built was crumbling beneath me and all over again I was shit was rotten.

    Flashforward 4 years and here I am. Still recovering and my doctors tell me I am going to have a mycardial infarction at any time.

    I write this as a warning. Lay off the WTs, don't become me. Piss yourself at least once in your life, it will be worth it, vote republican and if given the chance, go ass to mouth.

    Stop the Wheat Thin pandemic...and stop children like these from becoming addicts.
    Last edited by TheOriginalGrumpySpy; 09-13-2008 at 01:12 AM.

  2. #2
    Sheriff of Paddy's captain castle's Avatar
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    they lace them with crack

    I swear to god

  3. #3
    eh hedgerow's Avatar
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    I was a bit too lazy to read this thread so my conclusion is that togs is a small asian boy.

  4. #4
    Senior Member ShitFace's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hydro View Post
    I was a bit too lazy to read this thread so my conclusion is that togs is a small asian boy.
    lol

  5. #5
    Ghost Poaster Woofness's Avatar
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    addictive surely, and I assume not.

  6. #6
    beautiful dirty rich Nadia's Avatar
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    Wheat-Thins are delicious except for the flavored ones.

  7. #7
    Scito Te Ipsum TheOriginalGrumpySpy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nadia View Post
    Wheat-Thins are delicious except for the flavored ones.
    I'm an Original fan myself.

  8. #8
    beautiful dirty rich Nadia's Avatar
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    I accidentally bought the basil ones once but then was like "I love basil so no problem" until I ate them. They tasted what like I imagine shit to be.

  9. #9
    Scito Te Ipsum TheOriginalGrumpySpy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nadia View Post
    I accidentally bought the basil ones once but then was like "I love basil so no problem" until I ate them. They tasted what like I imagine shit to be.
    I thought you would know based on your ass-to-mouth activities/

  10. #10
    beautiful dirty rich Nadia's Avatar
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    Sorry you got me confused for yourself.

  11. #11
    Scito Te Ipsum TheOriginalGrumpySpy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nadia View Post
    Sorry you got me confused for yourself.
    Yeah, that was weird.. how did I manage that?

  12. #12
    beautiful dirty rich Nadia's Avatar
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    Maybe you need to lay off the wheat-thins.

  13. #13
    Scito Te Ipsum TheOriginalGrumpySpy's Avatar
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    Goddamn I'll do anything

  14. #14
    beautiful dirty rich Nadia's Avatar
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    Yes, you silly little slut.

  15. #15
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    Wheat thins with Bree Cheese FTFW!!!

  16. #16
    λεγιων ονομα μοι sycld's Avatar
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    So does the lingering taste of cock in your mouth enhance the flavor of the Wheat Thins crumbs?

    EDIT: Who the fuck is the poster above me and usernames with more than one consecutive x should be banned

  17. #17
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    I don't think all of the flavored ones are bad. The French Onion ones are good with cheddar cheese.

  18. #18
    Senior Member Tekk's Avatar
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    Wheat thins are the products of the Nazis, making us fat and loving every minute of it.

  19. #19
    Senior Member Nermy2k's Avatar
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    Whole grain wheat thins are the best also I didn't read this thread.

  20. #20
    λεγιων ονομα μοι sycld's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tekk View Post
    Wheat thins are the products of the Nazis, making us fat and loving every minute of it.
    You read "wheat" and "thins," making you think "Gee, I'll never get fat off of this product," BUT IT'S ALL A LIE...

  21. #21
    cowabunga
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    so kool togz
    I got my allowance but I spent it all on ice cream

  22. #22
    satorieee.proboards61.com Satori_Everything's Avatar
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    Oh, wait. I was thinking of Sweet Chili Triscuits. Yeah, butt wheat thins are good maybe because they were sweet and salty crackers and most crackers are just salty.
    Last edited by Satori_Everything; 03-01-2011 at 11:18 PM.

  23. #23
    Senior Member ShitFace's Avatar
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    necro
    Andy says:
    prince of persia is more skill than hack and slash
    ShitFace says:
    i dont think skill is a genre of game lol
    Andy says:
    of course it is you have seen the crystal maze havnt you?
    he says what next a skill physical mental?


    Blind people don't see black, they see the same thing you see out of your elbow - VengfulScars

  24. #24
    i got colours WellAdjusted's Avatar
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    Vegetable thins are better
    Quote Originally Posted by simonj View Post
    I got bitten by a kitten once
    Quote Originally Posted by Satori_Everything View Post
    It hurts my brain.

  25. #25
    satorieee.proboards61.com Satori_Everything's Avatar
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    I was thinking of sweet chili triscuits. Wheat thins are good also. I think because they are sweet and salty and most crackers are just salty.

  26. #26
    windmills of your mind Think's Avatar
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    togs dude you have written hundreds of words on the subject of wheat thins it is not natural so here is what you should do:

  27. #27
    =========== KT.'s Avatar
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    he's hoping the Wheat Thin people find this and make a commercial out of it

  28. #28
    Journeyman Cocksmith Mr. E's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by WellAdjusted View Post
    Vegetable thins are better


    cracked pepper and olive oil triscuits ftw
    Quote Originally Posted by gina View Post
    i can't tell if we're in the throes of a troll toll (to get into the boy's soul) or if there's just one more big floppy douchebag pussywhipped idiot walkin around out there

  29. #29
    cowabunga
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    holy fuck mre

    holy fuck
    I got my allowance but I spent it all on ice cream

  30. #30
    cowabunga
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    blowing my mind here bro
    I got my allowance but I spent it all on ice cream

  31. #31
    cowabunga
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    cracked pepper + oo triscuits are the best cracker/thin in the entire fucking planet
    I got my allowance but I spent it all on ice cream

  32. #32
    mutton mutton's Avatar
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    crackers gonna crack

  33. #33
    Merry fucking Christmas Atmosfear's Avatar
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    the problem with triscuits is they detract from the cheeses you put on them.

    Sorry camembert is not meant to be spread upon a flavored cracker.

    Carr's Table Water Cracker ftw

  34. #34
    cowabunga
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    i don't eat triscuits often but when i do i prefer triscuits
    I got my allowance but I spent it all on ice cream

  35. #35
    λεγιων ονομα μοι sycld's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Atmoscheer View Post
    the problem with triscuits is they detract from the cheeses you put on them.

    Sorry camembert is not meant to be spread upon a flavored cracker.

    Carr's Table Water Cracker ftw
    Even though agreeing with atmosfear is something I try to refrain from,

    QFT.


    PANDAS
    If you don't like them, then get the fuck out.

    Quote Originally Posted by Think View Post
    Atheists are quite right

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