So I am coming out...

[Maliathone]

Ok, So far I have come out to both of my parents, and even my super religious step mother... Who was surprisingly ok with be being gay and even supportive... Well anyways, I have told my Dad, my Mom, my step mother, my step sister, my aunt, and a cousin. I am trying to think of how to tell the rest of the family, in particular all of my siblings, and the grand parents. Anyone here have any good ideas?

[Mr. E]

Hmm...You haven't followed the order that most of my gay friends have. It seems like you've already got the hardest ones out of the way (barring grandparents). For your siblings, I'd just tell them outright. They probably have a better idea than you think, if what my gay friends have told me is any indication. I don't know about grandparents though, the generational gap makes that one tricky.

[simonj]

How many ways are there to tell someone you're gay? I mean I don't think hallmark have a section for that specific scenario, and jumping out of a cake wearing nothing but a speedo and yelling 'surprise darlings, I'm fabulous!' in your campest, most effeminate voice would probably be jumping the gun a little.

So I'd suggest using words. Be straight, be concise and be truthful. And tell them that you love them but if they don't accept you for who you are it's a bigger problem for them than it is you because a family who does not accept you and stand by who you are as a person is not a family at all.

[simonj]

Or have a 'coming out' party for all your family and only serve phallic foods with the exception of a cake decorated with a picture of Elton John serenading Ian McKellen and George Michael.

[sycld]

I'm just "glad" that my grandparents are dead without having to know that I'm gay.

My great aunts will also have passed before the truth will be unambiguous and unavoidable.

So, yeah -- my strategy is to wait for my older relatives to die and then to deal with the rest.

Or have a 'coming out' party for all your family and only serve phallic foods with the exception of a cake decorated with a picture of Elton John serenading Ian McKellen and George Michael.

No, with a daisy chain of Elton John, Ian McKellen, and George Michael.

George Michael on top, Elton John in the middle, and Ian Mckellen on the bottom.

(lollemonparty)

[Shinysides]

sycld you aren't out yet?

[sycld]

sycld you aren't out yet?

How many people need to know you're gay before you're officially "out," anyway?

I mean, unless I wear a badge that says "Ask me about being a GAY" and constanty ring a bell while shouting "UNCLEAN UNCLEAN I R TEH GHEY" wherever I go, then there are going to be people who will just never know that I'm gay.

My parents "know" (while being in denial), and a couple cousins know as well. I have no siblings to tell, and frankly I don't see a reason to tell my other family members yet, many of whom I'm not close too and are so conservative as to not understand it anyway.

[Shinysides]

My parents "know" (while being in denial), and a couple cousins know as well. I have no siblings to tell, and frankly I don't see a reason to tell my other family members yet, many of whom I'm not close too and are so conservative as to not understand it anyway.

Well, I consider someone to be "out" as soon as they've told everyone they feel needs to know. I was just wondering because from the way you phrased your first post it sounded like you hadn't told anyone.

[faesce]

"sup bro i'm gay"

"ok"

[Kal El]

Honestly, the easiest way I've found has been just stopping the particular family member I intend to tell, and just nail them with it. Tell them I am still the same person, and that I am hiding nothing else, just say it's just a difficult thing to come to terms with.

Most people usually understand, minus the father and my own stepmother. But fuck that bitch.

[Shinysides]

I didn't know Kal El is gay.

[Kal El]

It's so "normal" for me that I've never felt the need to talk about it. It's just not that important to me.

And "gay" is right, but more along the lines of "bisexual."

[faesce]

[MrShrike]

Is their knowing or not knowing going to be a major constraint on you?

What I mean is, while they're not aware and you're not sure how they will respond to it if they do find out, are you constrained in how you can behave in your daily life?

If the answer is not at all or not significantly, I would suggest you may as well not worry about it. Given that those other relatives know, I'm sure they will either work it out or find out for themselves before long.

[sycld]

pls do it to the following music:



"Mom, I'm gay."

[simonj]

Use that song but don't say a word. Instead, work out a piece of interpretive dance which you will perform wearing nothing but a pink sparkly spandex leotard.

Then if they have any doubts about your sexuality they can god damned live with those doubts!

[Atomic]

They probably know already.

[Harner]

They probably know already.

Right. If your fam is anything like mine, you can't do anything without half the family knowing before you ever do it.

Word travels fast. And do you really care if they know or not? It's your life. If you wanted to tell them, you would have by now.

[Atomic]

Well I was more or less saying that if you act gay they probably think you're gay. But what you said is true too.

[sycld]

Let's face it:

Even if you don't think you act particularly gay, most likely your parents have some sort of inkling about your sexuality, if they really don't already know for certain.

[Kal El]

Let's face it:

Even if you don't think you act particularly gay, most likely your parents have some sort of inkling about your sexuality, if they really don't already know for certain.

The truth.