Transformers 2

[SneeBeezums]

So who's seen it? I just got back from the IMAX and it was awesome. I was a fan of the first film so I knew going into this one not to be expecting the best story, fantastic dialogue, and award winning acting.

I went in expecting a big, loud, action packed summer blockbuster with giant robots smashing each other's faces in. I got that and then some. I don't regret spending that extra money for the IMAX either. Well worth it. If you were a fan of the first film, you'll love this one. If you hated the first, I don't think your opinion will sway much

[ChedWick]

As I told you. I laughed, I cried, I /facepalm'd I grasped my seat in aw and tensed up in excitement.

The overall story was the /facepalm but it was loud and flashy enough to entertain me immensely.

[MalReynolds]

Awful. Piece of shit.

But since the first movie is one of the worst films I've ever seen, I wasn't expecting much. This film FAILED so hard.

Negative points:

- The Twins, Mudflap and Fuckface, two robots that have distinctly... 'ethnic' voices, gold teeth... That can't read. That was wonderful.
- Heaven being full of giant robots that can, in our realm, restore objects to real form.
- A giant robot having testicles for nothing more than a joke.
- Sam's mom getting high for a joke.
- 90% OF the jokes not working.
- Almost 3 hours.
- Not enough robots fighting.
- Decepticon Girl trying to seduce Sam - he doesn't notice that she is made out of machine.
- Stupid inter-relationship tension between Sam and Mikela.
- Mikela's father getting introduced only to have no bearing on the plot.
- Sam's parents getting kidnapped.
- Sam's parents.
- Sam (Nothing against Shia, I thought he was great - the character was not.)
- The script.
- Toy truck robot fucking Megan Fox's foot.

On the plus side,

+ Jetfire was pretty funny.
+ I could tell what was going on in the fights this time.

I was disappointed, because it starts really cool - the 30 minute battle in Shanghai, then the inter-political stuff that makes Obama look like a sissy for taking over NEST via that nebbish government worker, but then things went down hill when Sam and Mikela came on screen.

The movie just blew. It appealed to the lower common denominator by having more ball-and-fuck jokes than I could count, and tried to appeal to people with higher brain functions with the Sam-Mikela relationship problems, but it just. Fucking. Failed.

And WHY does every movie have to have a bullshit riddle like "In the land of kings, where on earth does the sand meet shore-space" only for a character to realize, almost too late, that that means "THE 7-11! OF COURSE!"

Also lol no one noticed a huge machine under one of the pyramids of Egypt GOOD JOB, WORLD.

I could go on, but I don't want to.

EDIT: Also, wouldn't Bumblebee have noticed 'Alice' was a Decepticon? Also, all the Decepticons give off radiation, as John Turturro showed, so does that mean Sam is going to get cancer? Is that the curse of the Primes? Awful movie, insulting the intelligences of people everywhere.

[TheOriginalGrumpySpy]

Awful. Piece of shit.

But since the first movie is one of the worst films I've ever seen, I wasn't expecting much. This film FAILED so hard.

Negative points:

- The Twins, Mudflap and Fuckface, two robots that have distinctly... 'ethnic' voices, gold teeth... That can't read. That was wonderful.
- Heaven being full of giant robots that can, in our realm, restore objects to real form.
- A giant robot having testicles for nothing more than a joke.
- Sam's mom getting high for a joke.
- 90% OF the jokes not working.
- Almost 3 hours.
- Not enough robots fighting.
- Decepticon Girl trying to seduce Sam - he doesn't notice that she is made out of machine.
- Stupid inter-relationship tension between Sam and Mikela.
- Mikela's father getting introduced only to have no bearing on the plot.
- Sam's parents getting kidnapped.
- Sam's parents.
- Sam (Nothing against Shia, I thought he was great - the character was not.)
- The script.
- Toy truck robot fucking Megan Fox's foot.

On the plus side,

+ Jetfire was pretty funny.
+ I could tell what was going on in the fights this time.

I was disappointed, because it starts really cool - the 30 minute battle in Shanghai, then the inter-political stuff that makes Obama look like a sissy for taking over NEST via that nebbish government worker, but then things went down hill when Sam and Mikela came on screen.

The movie just blew. It appealed to the lower common denominator by having more ball-and-fuck jokes than I could count, and tried to appeal to people with higher brain functions with the Sam-Mikela relationship problems, but it just. Fucking. Failed.

And WHY does every movie have to have a bullshit riddle like "In the land of kings, where on earth does the sand meet shore-space" only for a character to realize, almost too late, that that means "THE 7-11! OF COURSE!"

Also lol no one noticed a huge machine under one of the pyramids of Egypt GOOD JOB, WORLD.

I could go on, but I don't want to.

EDIT: Also, wouldn't Bumblebee have noticed 'Alice' was a Decepticon? Also, all the Decepticons give off radiation, as John Turturro showed, so does that mean Sam is going to get cancer? Is that the curse of the Primes? Awful movie, insulting the intelligences of people everywhere.

This post is so incredibly full of win. I actually laughed out loud.

[UnreasonablyReasonable]

Negative points:

- The Twins, Mudflap and Fuckface, two robots that have distinctly... 'ethnic' voices, gold teeth... That can't read. That was wonderful.
- Heaven being full of giant robots that can, in our realm, restore objects to real form.
- A giant robot having testicles for nothing more than a joke.
- Sam's mom getting high for a joke.
- 90% OF the jokes not working.
- Almost 3 hours.
- Not enough robots fighting.

While I disagree with a couple of them, I could see where you were coming from on many of your points up until this one. The one thing I remember thinking throughout the whole movie is "holy shit there is SO much fighting going on, why the hell did this all need to be included? at this point it is just too much robot fighting and it is getting boring." Pretty much the only way to have more is to have one huge battle with no story whatsoever (in before "this had no story whatsoever lol i'm elite"), or a four hour long movie.

I had some problems with the film, but the music was pretty good and it's more or less what I expected. My biggest problem is the length, they could have cut lots of unnecessary battle scenes that just felt unnecessarily long (I like the word unnecessary, sue me), like an infinite turd coming out of my ass, when the hell is this shit going to end? The final desert battle is the prime example, I can't believe how long that whole thing took.

No matter what, this film was a hell of a lot funnier and a shit-ton better than Year One.

[MalReynolds]

The plot had more holes than a Kent State hippie, but yeah, I hear Year One was just north of Hell on the fun-meter.

[SUN]

This movie is racist.

[WellAdjusted]

I really didn't enjoy the love thing in this movie. It's fucking Transformers, we don't need to see love. It actually pisses me off that EVERY movie has love in it. So annoying. Except for The Thing (and I'm sure others lol)

It bothered me that there was another dog added into the movie only for it to be seen twice being humped my Mojo. Lame.

MalReynolds you are so right.

Though all together I did enjoy it, it could have been so much better... and weren't there thirteen primes originally?

[Infernus]

Mal you forgot Megan Fox's tits as a plus side.

[gwahir]

There is nothing particularly great about Megan Fox's tits.

[WellAdjusted]

It's more Megan Fox as a whole that is so amazing.

[gwahir]

Not really.

[WellAdjusted]

IMO then. I think she's really hot as a whole. Plus the eyes are niiice.

[Infernus]

There is nothing particularly great about Megan Fox's tits.

And theres even more thats not particularly great about this movie.

[MalReynolds]

One more thing:

The Matrix dissolves in Shia LaNONONONONOs hand because he's not worthy. He goes to Robot Heaven and talks to Robot God, and Robot God is all like, "Wait, error in paperwork, you are worthy, head on back."

So the Matrix comes back together because Robot God can do that shit or something, and then Sam shoves it in Optimus's chest, and Optimus is like OOOH YEESSSSSSSS.

But then The Fallen comes along and scoops it right up.

...

And it doesn't dissolve. So The Fallen is apparently worthy. That's cool, I guess.

And Agent Simmons having to climb the pyramid on order to call in the magic Rail Gun strike on Devestator. For some reason. I guess because he couldn't call it in unless... uh... he was staring at the things balls... or something. Wait, isn't he a disgraced former agent? How did he get ahold of the ship commander? How did he get them to fire their mega-weapon-ex-machina?

Fucking plot had more holes than a Kent State hippie.

[Atmosfear]

I refuse to see this movie because 1. I refuse to give that two bit hack Shia LeDouche any money 2. same goes for Megan Fox and her hammerthumbs

[MalReynolds]

They get paid for the movie, they don't get points on the back-end. Unless they have a very, veryyyy good contract.

[Atmosfear]

And if his movies don't make any money, how much is he going to get paid for his next film?

Unless he's Colin Farrell, not much.

[simonj]

You say that but Scarlett Johannson is still doing pretty well. Practically none of her films have been box-office successes.

[Cool Runnings]

Is it bad to say I actually enjoyed this film? I sat in line for two hours for an IMAX preview and loved every bit of it. Some parts were a bit stretched I agree, but still a great time.

[Killuminati]

There is nothing particularly great about Megan Fox's tits.

Not really.

Ok I know that the internet has an unhealthy obsession with megan fox and it's annoying. However to say there is nothing great about megan fox's body makes you either a liar or gay. She is still really fucking hot.

[jack burden]

The two twin robots were like the crows from Dumbo. Good old fashioned minstrelsy, the heart of American pop culture.

Oh yeah, the movie also had a lot of cliches that it could have really easily avoided. They had the token black military guy who is incredibly tough but not the leader type. The douchey government worker who gets everything wrong. The military men who know they are right and risk hundreds of lives with no real sense of direction as to what the fuck they are doing while conceitedly disobeying orders. The pro-American militarism with one tough, token British guy who has two lines but proves that the world's not just America, but Britain too. Not to mention the typical escargot and mime in France as well as the illiterate, backward village folk of Egypt. Cussing was used a lot to substitute for humor and toughness.

also i was horrified when shia labeouf came back to life. he sucks. if those robot gods could bring him to heaven and give him life, why the fuck not just stop megatron themselves?

[SneeBeezums]

http://movies.yahoo.com/feature/smg-...questions.html

lol

[simonj]

9. Sam briefly dies and goes to Robot Heaven. Robot Heaven?!?!

[Mr. E]

I went into this movie yesterday expecting it to be the biggest shitfest on this side of 3 Ninjas High Noon at Mega Mountain, and because those were my expectations I liked the movie. It was like expecting to get puked and shit on and just getting pissed on instead.

[Anonymous D]

I thought it was pretty good.

One thing that bothers me is that he would find that shard of the cube which then burned through his floor and bring all the kitchen appliances to life, which then try to kill him and his family.


But he feels it is fine to just give it to his girlfriend and not so much as let the Autobots know about it. WTF?

[MalReynolds]

Especially considering it can bring Optimus back to life.

[Anonymous D]

Yea they decided to just go and find some key that they werent even sure where it was, and the shard was pretty much forgotten about. They should have just sent an helicopter to the shop to get the shard from the safe. lol.

[Anonymous D]

And WHY THE FUCK WOULD THE GOVT KEEP A PIECE OF IT? Especially since they KNOW thats what they were after the first time they came.

[WellAdjusted]

Well I mean in all fairness, they did use the shard to bring Jetfire to life. They needed him to read the writing Shia was seeing in his brain. But yeah, why not just get Optimus from the beginning instead of wasting so much time...

..but can Optimus read Cybertronian? or whatever?

[crapoo16]

After reading all this it doesn't seem worth the watch.. I guess I won't be wasting my money.

[MalReynolds]

Well I mean in all fairness, they did use the shard to bring Jetfire to life. They needed him to read the writing Shia was seeing in his brain. But yeah, why not just get Optimus from the beginning instead of wasting so much time...

..but can Optimus read Cybertronian? or whatever?

I dunno. If he was afro-cybertronian, then no. None of them niggas learned to read.

[simonj]

He was asian-cybertronian. He could read but he got his ls and rs confused and everyone laughed at him when he tried to speak it.

[MalReynolds]

Who the fuck wants a Matlix of Readership?

[howie_b]

so how is the sequel doing in the box office?

[MalReynolds]

Gangbusters.

[Tekk]

The movie lacked any substance, but if you just wanted to go to a movie and see pretty effects, it did the job well.

[Oats]

This movie entertained me.

[howie_b]

i think it was better than the first movie. thumbs up!

[Shinysides]

I'll be honest, I'm not an overly critical person, and if I was entertained by a movie, I call it good. This was entertaining as shit, maybe not as good as Star Trek, but I still enjoyed it. One of my better qualities is that I can see through plot holes while still noticing them and be completely entertained for the 2 hours I'm watching the movie. Transformers got 2 thumbs up as far as being entertaining for me.