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Thread: Tik Tok parody song (work in progress)

  1. #1
    =========== KT.'s Avatar
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    Default Tik Tok parody song (work in progress)



    Wake up in the morning feelin like Pete Parker
    Here a scream, I grab my mask, I'm gonna stop attackers
    Before I leave get my camera and some extra film rolls
    Cuz when I leave for the day, I'll be out on patrol

    I'm talkin
    Webbin up all my foes foes
    Helpin out regular Joes Joes
    Snappin my favorite pose pose

    Web slingin
    Swingin by a party
    Foolin around with Ms. Hardy
    Tryin to save New York Ciiiiitttyyy

    Don't stop, catch Doc Ock
    Before he blows the city up
    Tonight, Imma fight
    Cuz of a spider bite
    Tik tok on the clock
    But the bad guys never stop, no

    Ain't got a girlfriend in the world
    But got plenty of friends
    Ain't got no weapons in my pocket
    But I don't need em

    And now the people are lining up
    Cuz they hear I'm real fly
    But I kick em to the curb
    Unless they're a good guy
    Last edited by KT.; 08-23-2010 at 12:51 AM.

  2. #2
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    I still need to write a verse and the bridge. Oh and I manipulated the photo for this.

    Serious criticism and comments are welcomed

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    Band simonj's Avatar
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    You should collaborate with Satori.

    Free weezy

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    Merry fucking Christmas Atmosfear's Avatar
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    Your rhythms are way off.

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    hey guys, my comic book friends thought this was killer. But yeah, the rhythm is off in some places. I'm still working on it.

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    Sexual Deviant Vengeful Scars's Avatar
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    Your comic book friends thought this was killer because they've never seen a girl
    lik dis if u cry evertim
    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. E View Post
    yes
    Quote Originally Posted by KT. View Post
    Oh I was expecting a guide to making meth

  7. #7
    λεγιων ονομα μοι sycld's Avatar
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    GOD YOU'RE LIKE VIRGINIA WOOLF THE FAGGOTS THAT WRITE FOR BRITTANY SPEARS ALL ROLLED UP INTO ONE

    NOW BRING YOUR WRITING TO THE NEXT LEVEL BY TAKING A ONE WAY TRIP TO THE BOTTOM OF THE RIVER


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    If you don't like them, then get the fuck out.

    Quote Originally Posted by Think View Post
    Atheists are quite right

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    I made some changes. (Bolded for your convenience)


    Wake up in the morning feelin like Pete Parker
    Grab my mask, I'm out the door, I'm gonna stop attackers
    Before I leave get my camera and some extra film rolls
    Cuz when I leave for the day, I'll be out on patrol

    I'm talkin
    Webbin up all my foes foes
    Helpin out regular Joes Joes
    Strikin' my favorite pose pose

    Web slingin
    Swingin by a party
    Flirtin' with Ms. Hardy
    Tryin to save New York Ciiiiitttyyy

    Don't stop, catch Doc Ock
    Before he blows the city up
    Tonight, Imma fight
    Because of a spider bite
    Tik tok on the clock
    But the bad guys never stop, no

    Ain't got a girlfriend in the world
    But got plenty of friends
    Ain't got no weapons in my pocket
    But I don't need em

    And now the people are lining up
    Cuz they hear I'm real fly
    But I kick em to the curb
    Unless they're a good guy

  9. #9
    mutton mutton's Avatar
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    audio pls

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    mutton mutton's Avatar
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  12. #12
    Band simonj's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by simonj View Post
    Free weezy

  13. #13
    λεγιων ονομα μοι sycld's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KT. View Post

    Wake up in the morning feelin like Pete Parker
    Grab my mask, I'm out the door, I'm gonna stop attackers
    Parker and attacker don't rhyme, and who calls bad guys/hoodlums/criminals/black people "attackers" anyway?


    Before I leave get my camera and some extra film rolls
    This line in particular sounds like someone from an upper middle class suburban housing development trying to rap.

    Cuz when I leave for the day, I'll be out on patrol
    Redundant (you already said you were leaving), and how does taking a camera imply you'll "be out on patrol"?

    Strikin' my favorite pose pose
    Yes, the reluctant, emotionally turbulent superhero Spiderman is often known to strike his "favorite pose (pose)."

    Don't stop, catch Doc Ock
    Before he blows the city up
    Doesn't rhyme, you cunt.

    Tik tok on the clock
    DON'T USE THE HOOK FROM THE ORIGINAL SONG IN A PARODY YOU GODDAMN BITCH

    Ain't got a girlfriend in the world
    But got plenty of friends
    Ain't got no weapons in my pocket
    But I don't need em
    There is nothing right or good about this.

    And now the people are lining up
    Cuz they hear I'm real fly
    But I kick em to the curb
    Unless they're a good guy
    And I thought the previous bit was bad. This just completely leaves me dumb struck.


    PANDAS
    If you don't like them, then get the fuck out.

    Quote Originally Posted by Think View Post
    Atheists are quite right

  14. #14
    mutton mutton's Avatar
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    i call bad guys/hoodlums/criminals/black people "barkers"

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by sycld View Post
    Parker and attacker don't rhyme, and who calls bad guys/hoodlums/criminals/black people "attackers" anyway?
    Yeah but it's one of those close enough rhymes. Here are the words that exactly rhyme with Parker: "barker, darker, harker, marker, starker". If you can think of a better line, I'll gladly switch it.


    This line in particular sounds like someone from an upper middle class suburban housing development trying to rap.
    Thanks!


    Redundant (you already said you were leaving), and how does taking a camera imply you'll "be out on patrol"?
    Well the redundancy about leaving is in the original song so you'll need to complain to the original songwriter. Also, taking the camera doesn't necessarily imply that Spider-Man is going "out on patrol" but if you know anything about Peter Parker, he's had a freelance photography gig throughout most of his career as Spider-Man. He needs his camera so he can take pictures of himself fighting bad guys.


    Yes, the reluctant, emotionally turbulent superhero Spiderman is often known to strike his "favorite pose (pose)."
    Yeah, you don't read comics do you? There is far more levity to the character than reluctance and emotional turbulence.


    Doesn't rhyme, you cunt.
    It's not suppose to rhyme. The original lines there don't.

    "Don't stop, make it pop
    DJ, blow my speakers up"


    DON'T USE THE HOOK FROM THE ORIGINAL SONG IN A PARODY YOU GODDAMN BITCH
    Ok

    There is nothing right or good about this.
    How can I improve it? What in particular is bad about it? Personally I thought it was pretty clever compared to the original lines.

    "Ain't got a care in world, but got plenty of beer
    Ain't got no money in my pocket, but I'm already here"

    And I thought the previous bit was bad. This just completely leaves me dumb struck.
    Well you know best don't you. Thanks for the critique!

  16. #16
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    Here's the part of the original song I parodied:

    Wake up in the morning feeling like P Diddy
    Grab my glasses, I'm out the door, I'm gonna hit this city
    Before I leave, brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack
    'Cause when I leave for the night, I ain't coming back

    I'm talking pedicure on our toes, toes
    Trying on all our clothes, clothes
    Boys blowing up our phones, phones
    Drop-topping, playing our favorite CDs
    Pulling up to the parties
    Trying to get a little bit tipsy

    Don't stop, make it pop
    DJ, blow my speakers up
    Tonight, I'mma fight
    'Til we see the sunlight
    Tick tock on the clock
    But the party don't stop, no


    Ain't got a care in world, but got plenty of beer
    Ain't got no money in my pocket, but I'm already here
    And now, the dudes are lining up cause they hear we got swagger
    But we kick em to the curb unless they look like Mick Jagger

  17. #17
    Band simonj's Avatar
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    The only reason she chose 'Mick Jagger' was because the only other thing that rhymes with 'swagger' is 'teabagger'.

  18. #18
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    Do you see now how KT is comparatively Bob Dylan?

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    λεγιων ονομα μοι sycld's Avatar
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    i for one am enjoying how seriously she's taking this


    PANDAS
    If you don't like them, then get the fuck out.

    Quote Originally Posted by Think View Post
    Atheists are quite right

  20. #20
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    I like how you tried to troll me but I was all like pshaw, whatever dude. I'm not giving you the satisfaction.

  21. #21
    λεγιων ονομα μοι sycld's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KT. View Post
    I like how you tried to troll me but I was all like pshaw, whatever dude. I'm not giving you the satisfaction.
    "no u dun understan here r orijinal lyrics k?"


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    Quote Originally Posted by Think View Post
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  22. #22
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    should work

    tiktokparody1.mp3

  23. #23
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    As a parody it all works pretty well. Fuck you Sycld, listen to Weird Al, the rhymes/syncopation/metaphors etc etc etc aren't always perfect (just like in most forms of popular music - lyricism is fairly different to poetry as a whole) but they fit to the music they are parodying.

    Also, well done on actually recording it and posting it. This website is way too cynical sometimes.

  24. #24
    mutton mutton's Avatar
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    i'll try setting it to the instrumental

    10000000 hit youtube video here we go

  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by simonj View Post
    As a parody it all works pretty well. Fuck you Sycld, listen to Weird Al, the rhymes/syncopation/metaphors etc etc etc aren't always perfect (just like in most forms of popular music - lyricism is fairly different to poetry as a whole) but they fit to the music they are parodying.

    Also, well done on actually recording it and posting it. This website is way too cynical sometimes.

  26. #26
    Strangle Hazard thank mr skeltal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by simonj View Post
    The only reason she chose 'Mick Jagger' was because the only other thing that rhymes with 'swagger' is 'teabagger'.
    and "world of warcraft lagger" isn't very pop-y

  27. #27
    Senior Member DAVIDSDIVAD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sycld View Post
    i for one am enjoying how seriously she's taking this

  28. #28
    mutton mutton's Avatar
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    only 9999999 views to go


  29. #29
    λεγιων ονομα μοι sycld's Avatar
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    dislike'd


    PANDAS
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    Quote Originally Posted by Think View Post
    Atheists are quite right

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    I probably should have sang to the beat. lol that was awesome though

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    Senior Member Infernus's Avatar
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    thats my response

  32. #32
    windmills of your mind Think's Avatar
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    I wrote one for sycld I think he'll prefer it

    Wake in Forest Hill, Queens, (that’s in New York City) (uh huh)
    Grab my mask, I’m out the window where the streets are gritty
    Before I leave I retrieve that camera I lack
    Make sure I film every monster that brave spidey attacks

    I’m talking tracking down all my foes, foes
    Protecting all those with woes, woes
    Photoshop and crop my superim-posed pose
    I’m saving my city from sleaze, sleaze
    Protecting my favourite squeeze, squeeze
    And doing it all wittttttthhhhh glee

    Chorus:
    Doctor Oc, Eddie Brock
    You know I’ll put them under lock
    And key, you’ll surely see
    That you don’t wanna mess with me
    Can’t stop to take stock
    ‘Cause the bad guys always flock
    To mee-ee-ee, mee-ee-ee

    (Repeat Chorus)

    See the red and the spider; you’ve got nothing to fear
    Unless you’re criminal, jewish or a well-known queer
    Cause when I see a male prostitute leer and swagger
    If I didn’t spray them all over I’d have to draw my pork dagger

    I’m talking covering in metaphorical spunk, spunk
    Or I’d have to pull out my junk, junk
    When I see that brute evil hunk, hunk

    Now I respond to Mary Jane’s pout, pout
    But I really want a little boy scout, scout
    Really want a little boy scout, scout
    Really want a

    Doctor Oc, Eddie Brock
    I wish they'd symbiote my cock
    You see, villains flee
    Cause of my sexuality
    Can’t stop, to take stock
    'Cause I’m straight there’s nothing wrong
    With mee-ee-ee, mee-ee-ee
    Quote Originally Posted by sycld View Post
    of course it's acknowledged by the Catholic Church, since it's true
    For paradise among this world
    Is finding love in boy and girl

  33. #33
    windmills of your mind Think's Avatar
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    I don't feel very well now

  34. #34
    mutton mutton's Avatar
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    sing that while you throw up

    i'll make the rival youtube video for everyone to thumbs up

  35. #35
    windmills of your mind Think's Avatar
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    nah sycld should be a sport and do it

  36. #36
    λεγιων ονομα μοι sycld's Avatar
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    i was considering humouring you but i can't bring myself to singing anything that sounds like that stupid song


    PANDAS
    If you don't like them, then get the fuck out.

    Quote Originally Posted by Think View Post
    Atheists are quite right

  37. #37
    ))) joke, relax ;) coqauvin's Avatar
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    ham it up!

    sycld if you do it i'll s your d
    Quote Originally Posted by Nermy2k View Post
    yeah obviously we'd all suck our alternate universe dicks there was never any question about that
    Quote Originally Posted by Atmosfear
    I don't know if Obama did anything to make that happen, but I do know that he didn't do anything to stop me from blaming him.

  38. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by Atmosfear View Post
    scarf wasn't man enough to do it so queendork pushed herself down the stairs.

  39. #39
    Senior Member Meatball's Avatar
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    lol. It's kind of cheesy, but would be a lot better if you redid the track with proper timing and a little more enthusiasm. It just sounds like you are talking when you should be singing/rapping or whatever she calls it.

  40. #40
    Band simonj's Avatar
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    She only recorded it to prove it works in time with the song
    Quote Originally Posted by KT. View Post
    simonj can be a real dick sometimes.
    Quote Originally Posted by gina View Post
    I CAN'T LABI-STRETCH SIMONJ

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